PIRATES

READ

ALL

ABOUT

THE

NASTY

BITS!

FOR RICHARD SMITH WITH THANKS AND ADMIRATION. TD

THANKS ATHOLL. MB

Published in the UK by Scholastic, 2022

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First published in the UK by Scholastic Ltd, 2006

Text © Terry Deary, 2006, 2022

Illustrations © Martin Brown, Atholl McDonald, 2006, 2022

All rights reserved.

ISBN 978 07023 1806 1

Printed and bound in the UK by CPI Group Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY

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INTRODUCTIONp5

EPILOGUE P113

ROTTEN RULES P68

INTERESTING INDEX p115

NASTY NAMES P13

WICKED WOMEN

PIRATES

P53

FOUL FACTS P92

WICKED WEAPONS p40

Top ten

putrid

pirates

p19

Cut-throat crueltiesp61

TERRIBLE TACTICS P47

Perilous pirate timeline p28

LOUSY

LEGENDS

AND LIES P7

LOUSY

LOOTP34

Pirate ships p70

PIRATE LOSERS p72

TALK LIKE A

pirate p82

FLY THE

FLAGSP87

Pirate punishments p97

DIRE DEATHS P103

WHAT’S INSIDE?

FREE: Pull-out

Pirate Rule Book

see page 68

EXCLUSIVE: The story

of Blackbeard and his

14 wives see pages 109–110

5

INTRODUCTION

W

hat do you call a person who takes you

prisoner and feeds you rats, mice and

caterpillars?

What do you call a person who nails your feet to

the deck of a ship and then beats you to death?

What do you call a person who chops you into

pieces and eats you?

There is one word for all of these vicious people

...Pirates

Yes, it’s shocking but true.

Forget the handsome young men, sailing the

seven seas, digging up hidden treasure.

Forget the brave heroes swinging from masts to

a thug?

a bully?

a cannibal?

a pirate? but i thought…

6

steal the gold from enemy galleons and laughing as

they swish their swords.

Forget the fat, jolly story-book captain and his

cheeky parrot with an eye-patch.

For this is a HORRIBLE history of pirates. And not

only that, but it’s everything you DON’T want to

know about pirates in one handy little handbook.

So, avast and belay you lubber, shiver your

timbers and weigh your anchor, me hearties.

1

Read this book and you may never plough the

seven seas again!

one more yo-ho-ho

and i’ll fill you full

of yo-ho-holes

1 No, I don’t know what that means either. Just shout it as you swing from

the ropes in the school gym.

7

Y

ou’ve seen the

movies, you’ve

read the books.

Pirates are brave

and handsome

young men (and

women) who wear

gold earrings and shiny

boots. They carry

swords and pistols but

never hurt anyone ...

except the baddies.

LOUSY

LEGENDS

AND LIES

blah

blah

blah

8

aye, jim lad!

never, me hearties

Here are ten ‘facts’ about story-book pirates.

Can you say which of these are true?

If you think it may have happened say,

If you think it was a lie then say,

1 Pirates were gentlemen thieves.

Answer: ‘Aye, Jim lad!’ Blackbeard was thought to

be a ‘learned’ man born into a well-to-do family.

Henry Morgan was made ‘Sir Henry’ by King

Charles II and went on to be Governor of Jamaica.

But some were not even men! Mary Read and

Anne Bonney were a couple of tough women who

swashed and buckled alongside the men.

2 Pirates carried Parrots.

Answer: ‘Aye, Jim lad!’ The parrots were captured

in South America and carried back home. But they

weren’t just cute pets – they could be sold for good

money in Europe. Pretty Polly made a pretty penny.

3 Pirates stole Spanish gold and jewels.

Answer: ‘Aye, Jim lad!’ But the Spanish ships

became too big and too well-armed. Pirates turned

to stealing things they could sell – sugar and cloth

were popular. Slaves made a good price. Never

mind the misery.

4 Pirates made maps of buried treasure.

Answer: ‘Never, me hearties.’ They shared the

money and spent it quickly. There was no point

in burying it. Captain Kidd was supposed to have

buried treasure but no one has ever found it. It’s

a daft thing to do with your loot when you think

about it. The only pirates who buried their loot

were the ones being chased by the navy. They

would hide it for a couple of days till it

was safe to move on.

5 Pirates marooned shipmates

on desert islands.

Answer: ‘Aye, Jim lad!’ It was a

punishment for a pirate who

broke the rules. Believe it or

not, pirates did have a set of

rules – just like school rules!

The rules even said what time

you had to put your lights

out and go to bed!

treasure!

i’m rich!

marooned…

but rich!

6 Pirates had wooden legs and eye-patches.

Answer: ‘Aye, Jim lad!’ Cannon shots could mangle

legs and smash faces. A saw would take off a

crushed leg and there was always wood to make

a handy new stump – if stinking gangrene in the

wound didn’t kill you first.

7 Pirates flew skull-and-cross-bone flags.

Answer: ‘Aye, Jim lad!’ But other flags had bleeding

hearts or daggers or whole skeletons on them. A lot

of ‘pirate’ flags may have been invented long after

the pirates were dead.

Comes in either one leg or two!

PYRATE

PYJAMAS

Long Johns

perfect for Long John

11

8 Pirates made enemies

walk the plank.

Answer: ‘Never, me hearties.’ That was

just for stories. Pirates never wasted

their time. If they wanted enemies dead

they just chopped them to pieces and fed

them to the sharks. Chinese pirates

may have made victims

walk the plank –

and one writer said

Black Bart did it in the

Caribbean. But that’s probably

not true. It may be true

that they threw a

victim into the sea

and called out...

you’re free to

walk home. hah!

no one likes

a clever dick

12

9 Pirates sent their victims a black spot

to show they were coming to get them.

Answer: ‘Aye, Jim lad!’ A circle of paper was cut

out and covered in black ink. The circle was then

sent to someone they planned to kill. It meant, ‘We

are going to kill you.’ If the victim waited they were

killed – if they tried to run they were killed. The

black-spot warning added to their terror before

they died.

10 Pirates wore fine clothes, black beards

and curly wigs.

Answer: ‘Aye, Jim lad!’ They liked to steal fine

clothes from their victims and, if they fitted, they

wore them. But people like Blackbeard grew a long

tangled beard just to look scary. It looked less scary

when his head was lopped off in a fight with the

British Navy.

13

N

ot all robbers

who took to the

seas were known as

pirates. But if someone

is nailing your foot to

the deck you don’t

want to upset him and

call him by the wrong

name. So here are the

correct names.

NASTY

NAMES

rover

14

Pirate

(also spelled pyrate, pyrat, or pirat)

Did you know, the word ‘Peirato’ was first used

about 140 bc by the Greek writer Polybius? Another

Greek writer, Plutarch (around ad 100) said...

viking

These nasty Norsemen from Denmark, Norway

and Sweden liked battering poor little monks and

flattening farmers from the AD 700s to the 1000s.

But they also attacked ships at sea. Some history

books say the word ‘Viking’ is a Norse word for

pirate. But why would they call themselves ‘pirates’?

It may come from the Vikings’ own word for ‘creek’

where the Vikings launched their boats, or it may

come from the English word that means ‘trader’. No

one will ever be sure.

Pirates are people who attack not

only ships but sea ports too.

PRODUCT RECALL:

BLACKBEARD’S BLACK BEARD DYE

BATCH NO.1287

15

are you a

brother of

the coast?

i shore am! shore!

geddit? i’m a sibling of

the sand, twin of the

tide, kin of the cliff,

bro of the beach!

a simple

‘yes’ would

have done

Buccaneer

These pirates from the 1600s and 1700s killed wild

cows in the Caribbean. They then cooked them over

a sort of barbecue – the French word for a man

with a barbecue is ‘boucanier’ – so these barbecue

bandits were hot stuff. The buccaneers also called

themselves ‘Brothers of the Coast’.

Corsair

Another French word. This one means a ‘chaser’. So

watch out or they’ll chase YOU and rob you. Usually

corsair was the name for pirates who robbed people

in the Mediterranean Sea.

Unfortunately we have had some reports from customers that our

Black Beard Dye is actually turning their beards a much less terrifying pink.

Please return your products with proof of purchase for a full refund.

16

Privateer

These were pirates who went into ‘private’ business.

The English kings and queens of the 1600s couldn’t

afford to build a navy to fight the Spanish so they

said to the ‘private-eers’...

Barbary pirate

These foul fellers attacked ships off the Barbary Coast

– that is, North Africa. Do not mix Barbary pirates up

with the cheerful chaps who cut corsair hair – they

are pirate barbers. From 1569 to 1616, nearly five

hundred English ships were captured by the Barbary

pirates. They would send the fit English sailors to the

slave markets. The unfit would have their throats slit.

(That saved the trouble of feeding them.)

go off and attack the

spanish ships - give me

a share of the loot

and we both get rich

a private pirate with

proper permission to

peddle pain and panic

in the pacific?

you could say that,

but i’d rather you

didn’t

17

Sea rover

A polite word for a pirate. Call him this if he has a

cutlass to your throat. Sea king is an even MORE

polite word for a pirate – makes him sound like

some posh hero. Really he’s see-king to rob you.

Marooner

Marooner comes from the Spanish word ‘cimarrona’

and means a ‘runaway’. These men were either

runaway slaves or Spanish sailors who ran away

from the cruel life on their treasure ships – they

slaved away on the ships but didn’t get a share of the

treasure. No wonder they ran away. In time the word

‘marooning’ was used to mean leaving a victim on a

deserted island – this is not the same as the purple

colour known as maroon. And it has nothing at all

to do with this awful joke...

rover is a

dog’s name

i say! i say! i say! a ship full

of red paint crashed into a ship

full of blue paint and they

sank. the crew were marooned!

18

Freebooter

A Dutch word for thieves who roam around (freely)

looking for loot (booty). Do not mix him up with a

footballer who has an extra leg:

Filibuster

Spanish word for a pirate. Useful if you are attacked

while on holiday.

freebooter

three-

booter

hand over your

rubber ring

filibuster!

19

H

ere’s a quick guide

to the pirates you

would NOT want to

see at sea or cross

cutlasses with in

a cabin.

TOP TEN

PUTRID

PIRATES

10

20

Their horrors have been scored with skulls! A one-

skull pirate is nasty – but a five-skull pirate is more

deadly than a crocodile with toothache.

1 Blackbeard (Edward Teach, 1680–1718)

• He sometimes killed his own

crew for sport. He shot his

mate Israel Hands in the knee

and crippled him for life, just

for fun.

• He wore plaits

in his beard and hair

so it looked like snakes

were crawling over his face

and head. He also twisted

smoking rope into the plaits

to add to his terrifying looks.

• He was so strong he could

split a man from his head to

his waist with one blow from

his cutlass.

Skull Score:

i’m

off

21

2 Sir Henry Morgan (1635–88)

• This Welshman started off as a

privateer, attacking the Spanish for

King Charles. He did such a good

job Charles made him governor of

Jamaica.

• Morgan was a good soldier but

a hopeless sailor. He wrecked one

ship by sailing it on to rocks. He

had to cling to a rock and wait

to be rescued. Embarrassing.

• Another of his ships blew up when some drunken

sailors knocked a candle over in the gunpowder

store. Morgan lived – 250 of his crew died.

Skull Score:

3 Coxinga (1624–62)

• Coxinga was the son of China’s richest

smuggler. He fought to defend his

emperor and built a navy of 3,000

ships and 250,000 fighting men.

When the emperor was finally

defeated Coxinga turned to piracy.

• He couldn’t return to

China so he decided to drive

out the Dutch traders on Taiwan

Island. The Dutch refused to

surrender. Coxinga had the

22

Dutch captives divided into groups of about 30 and

sent to villages round his camp. There they were

dragged out, killed and thrown into burial pits.

• Coxinga went mad and started screaming, ‘Take

those headless bodies out of my bedroom!’ There

was nothing there.

Skull Score:

4 Black Bart (Bartholomew Roberts c. 1682–1722)

• Bart started his life at sea working

on a slave ship. Then a pirate

captured him and made Bart

a slave. The hard-working

Welshman earned his

freedom and in time became

captain of his own ship. Bart

once captured a ship and

asked the captain to pay if

he wanted to go free. The

captain refused so Bart set

his ship on fire. It didn’t

bother Bart that there were

eighty slaves on board.

• Black Bart was an odd pirate because he didn’t

drink – he had a clear head to plan his clever

attacks. He also hated gambling and smoking on

his ship.

23

you are a greasy

fellow so you’ll

fry well

• Bart found time to preach to his crew on a

Sunday. His rule was ‘Never attack on a Sunday,

it is the Lord’s Day.’

Skull Score:

5 Ned Low (died c. 1724)

• This American pickpocket turned

to pirating. He refused to have married

men on his crew. He didn’t want men

running home to their wives. If a

prisoner was married then

he couldn’t turn pirate

– Low shot him in the head.

• Low captured the Spanish galleon

Montcova and killed 53 Spanish

captives with his cutlass. He made

one Spanish prisoner eat the heart of his friend,

then he killed him. He burnt a French cook alive.

Low told him...

• His own crew set him adrift in a small boat. A

French ship rescued him. When they found out

who he was they hanged him.

Skull Score:

24

6 Jeanne de Clisson (c. 1300s)

• In 1313 Jeanne’s husband,

Olivier de Clisson, was

executed on the orders of

Philip the Fair, King of

France. Jeanne decided he

was Philip the Un-fair and

decided to get her own back.

First she sold off all her lands

to raise money, then she bought

three warships; they were

painted black and had red

sails. Admiral Jeanne began

destroying Philip’s ships and murdering their crews

... but she always left two or three alive to carry the

story back to the King. After all, that was part of

the fun!

• Philip died – which could have spoilt Jeanne’s fun

but she decided to continue her revenge on his sons

as they took the French throne. After 13 bloody

years the last son of Philip died and Jeanne retired.

• It was said that she enjoyed capturing ships

with French noblemen on board. Then she would

personally chop off their heads with her axe. Her

grey ghost still walks the walls of Clisson Castle –

don’t go there if your name is Philip!

Skull Score:

25

7 Roche Brasiliano (1670s)

• This Dutch buccaneer lived in

Brazil, then turned up in Jamaica

in the 1670s to do some pirating.

• Brasiliano was a drunkard

famous for his hatred of the

Spanish. He would get drunk

and run down the street beating

anyone who got in his way.

• He soon became pirate

captain and brought terror to

Spanish shipping. His nastiest

trick was to capture a Spaniard,

tie him to a pole and roast him alive over a fire.

Skull Score:

8 Juan Corso (1680s)

• The Spanish were not just

victims of piracy. Some Spaniards,

like Juan Corso, became pirates

themselves – and cruel ones too.

• Corso became a Spanish

privateer with orders to destroy

the English in Jamaica.

He gathered a crew of killers

who robbed and murdered

without pity.

26

• One of Corso’s crew fell sick. He was not able to

row Corso’s boat. He was useless ... so Corso cut off

his head.

Skull Score:

9 Lady Mary Killigrew (1580s)

• This cut-throat woman was the

wife of Sir John Killigrew and

they lived in Cornwall. She

went on many pirating cruises

along the English coast and

was happy to slash and chop

with her own sword. In 1583

a German merchant ship

was robbed and she rowed

away with jewels, silver

and pieces of eight. After

killing the crew, of course.

• In the same year a Spanish merchant ship was

driven into Falmouth by storms. Lady Killigrew led

a boarding party on to the vessel, killed the crew

and stole the cargo.

• Queen Elizabeth I heard about the attack and was

furious. Lady Killigrew was tried and sentenced to be

hanged along with her crew. But at the last minute

the Queen, who liked Lady Killigrew, changed her

mind and gave her a long jail sentence instead.

Skull Score:

27

10François l’Olonoise (1660s)

• L’Olonoise, a French pirate, brought

terror to the coast of South America…

He tortured his prisoners and became

famous as the cruellest of all pirates.

• His nastiest habit was cutting

prisoners to bits when he lost

his temper. Then he would cut

out their tongues. Once he cut out a

prisoner’s heart and starting chewing it

while asking him questions.

• L’Olonoise was wrecked on the island of Las

Pertas. He was found by local natives and was

murdered in a horrible way. Served him right.

Skull Score:

answer me!

i haven’t got

the heart to

tell him

28

PERILOUS

PIRATE

T

o give you a rough

idea of who was

doing what and when,

here is a quick timeline…

TIMELINE

29

PIRATE

Around 1100

bc

The first pirates

roam the Mediterranean seas.

230

bc

Queen Teuta of Illyria

(that’s Albania today) is fed

up with the Greeks settling

on the coast of her country.

She hasn’t the forces to drive

them out of their towns so

she turns pirate to sink them

at sea. But when she tries

to be ruthless with Roman

ships she is defeated.

Vikings cross the North Sea

and slaughter monks.

AD401

St Patrick (AD 385–461)

was a British boy who was

taught the Bible by his dad.

When St Pat was sixteen he

was captured by pirates and

sold as a slave in Ireland.

After six years he escaped

to Gaul (now France) and

became a monk. He then

went BACK to Ireland

and converted the Irish to

Christianity. If the pirates

buy brit bible

boy!

the greeks gave

us booty– the

romans gave us

the boot

30

hadn’t sent him to

Ireland he might never

have become their

greatest saint. Don’t be

surprised. Scramble the

letters of ‘pirates’ and

you get ‘a priest’.

AD793

It’s the start of the

Viking age. They will

spill blood on land and

sea for more than three

hundred years.

DID YOU KNOW…?

Lancelot Blackburne was a priest in the

Caribbean but found the pay was poor, so

he joined a pirate ship and attacked Spanish

galleons. He returned to England to work as a

priest. Was he hanged for piracy? No. He was

made Archbishop of York.

amazing!

look at all this

blood you’ve

spilt

sorry, ma

31

1492

Christopher Columbus

discovers the West Indies

and finds that the Arawak

Indians make great slaves. He

starts the slave trade that has

traders crossing the Atlantic

to make their fortunes – and

pirates to pinch it.

1500s

The Barbarossa brothers,

Aruj and Kheir-ed-din, roam

the Mediterranean. The name

means ‘Red beard’, which

is better than being called

‘Green beard’. These corsairs

were feared throughout the

Mediterranean for their

vicious attacks on Christian

ships and towns.

1603

England stops allowing

her ‘privateers’ to attack

foreign ships, but the

English sailors carry on

the raids anyway against

the law. These are the

days of the buccaneers

in the Caribbean.

to gold, greed

and slaves -

columbus!

you’ve got blood

on your beard,

bro

’

how can you

tell?

we’re illegal

criminals now

32

1618

There are now about

5,000 pirates at sea –

mostly in the Caribbean.

There’s a great trade there

in slaves and sugar plus

lots of lovely hiding places

thousands of miles from

the nasty navies. A pirate

paradise in fact.

1697

Treaty of Ryswick.

Spain, France, Holland

and England agree to stop

privateers raiding each

other’s ships. Pirates can

no longer say, ‘I was

fighting for my country,’

and get away with it. A

caught pirate is a dead

pirate from now on. Just

to prove it the English

hang Captain Kidd in

1701.

1775

The Americans are

in revolt against Britain.

American ships start to

attack and rob British ships.

no navies?

nay nigh

nor near

no kidd-ing

33

can you

hear a

chug-chug

sound?

John Paul Jones makes

a daring raid on Britain

and becomes an American

hero. The Brits just see

him as a pirate.

1850s

Steam-powered ships make it easier to catch

pirates. There are only a few pirate crews left

now. The seas are a bit safer.

34

I

f you were a pirate

what on earth would

you pinch? At sea

there are no motors

or mobile phones, no

jewellery shops or

cash machines. Here

are a few top tips on

what to nick and

what not…

LOUSY

LOOT

Pieces of eight

Pieces of eight were Spanish silver dollars. The little

Spanish coins were called ‘reals’ – put EIGHT reals

together and you got one ‘piece of eight’.

If you had SIXTEEN pieces of eight

they were worth one ‘doubloon’

– that was a gold coin. You could

spend these coins all over the world.

£

35

Jewellery

If the ship had passengers

then you could rob them

of their rings and watches.

Blackbeard liked to save time with this hand-

chopping trick:

Wine

Pirates liked a drink … a lot of drink.

Some drank themselves to death. So

if they could bag a barrel without

paying they would. Otherwise

they’d have to go to an inn. Then

there would be the excuse to tell the joke...

But, of course, you would never read such

a dreadful joke in a Horrible Histories book,

would you?

if you can’t

get a ring

off then

chop off

the finger

if there are a few

rings and you’re in

a real hurry, chop

off the hand and

slide them off later

a pirate walks into

a bar. ‘ouch!’ he said

it was an iron bar!

36

Cloth

Any sort of cloth would be easy to

sell, but silk from China was best

of all. By 1623 the Chinese were

sick of Dutch pirates stealing their

silk. They pretended to be friendly

with Dutch Captain Franszoon and gave him beer

… it was poisoned. Franszoon spat it out. So they

tried to ram him with fire ships – blazing boats sent

to ram Franszoon’s ships and set them alight. They

missed Franszoon but hit his partner’s ship. It blew

up in a fireball. The Dutch report said…

Maps

Maps were very valuable. You

couldn’t just go into a shop and

buy one. If you find a trader’s maps

you can learn all about the trade routes. Then you

can lay traps for other ships.

eek

It was blown up with man and mouse.

maps!

get

lost!

37

In 1680 Captain Bartholomew Sharp captured

Spanish treasure near Chile. The Spanish

demanded that King Charles II of England should

punish the pirate when he went back to England.

But part of Bart’s treasure was a book of sea

maps and plans of the South Seas. These were

so important that King Charles II gave them a

free pardon instead!

Sugar

Sugar was one of the most

precious things you could have in

England in the 1700s. Thousands of

slaves were captured just to grow and harvest sugar

in the Caribbean. Growing sugar was hard work.

Much easier to let the slaves do all the work then

nick the sugar planters’ cargo when they sent it

across to England.

captain! it’s the ‘candy queen’!

aargh! she be

a sugar ship

true enough

38

Slaves

Slave ships took Africans to America

and sold them to work in the fields.

It was easy to attack a slave ship

and steal the Africans. But one of

the oddest raids was led by the Dutch

pirate Jan Jansz. He led a crew of Barbary pirates

to Iceland. They landed, snatched a village full of

Iceland peasants and sold them as slaves.

Cattle

Captain Basil Hood was arrested off the coast of

Central America in 1713 for being a pirate. But

the English Navy officers wondered

what the foul smell was. It seems he

had the ship full of live cattle, not

treasure. But, worse, the cattle were

ill. The American Indians called the

cattle illness ‘a volcano of vomit’ and

that’s what the cattle were spewing out. The naval

officers let Hood go and left his ship very quickly.

why should i buy a

slave from iceland?

they’re

really

cool!

39

Medicine

Sick sailors were no use to a pirate

captain. Medicine was a valuable

prize. Once Blackbeard held a

town to ransom. He said he’d kill

his captives if they didn’t send him a chest full of

medicine. He got his precious pills and potions.

Fish

Not many pirates were able to rob

Spanish galleons and treasure

ships loaded with gold. Pirates like

Jack Rackham spent a lot of time

attacking little fishing boats in the

Caribbean. Why? Because they were hungry and

not powerful enough to attack bigger ships.

the hull is alive with the sound of moo-sick

squark! pieces

of skate, pieces

of skate

WICKED WEAPONS

Cutlass

Why did pirates like the curvy ‘cutlass’ sword? Because

there were lots of ropes on a sailing ship. The

curved sword didn’t get tangled in the

ropes. Unless you used it the

wrong way round,

of course...

Brass knife

Salty water

makes iron and

steel rot and rust. A

brass knife would

stay sharp. It was usually

short and sharp for cutting

and stabbing. (It is also useful for

picking your teeth if you’ve forgotten

to pack your corsair toothbrush. Just

don’t use it to pick your nose.)

I

f you want to be a

pirate you need to

have plenty of weapons.

You will want to stab,

shoot, smash down

doors, chop through

ropes and burn sails.

Here are some usual –

and unusual – weapons

for you to wear.

40

FOR SALE

ONE NOT-SO-

CAREFUL OWNER

Axe

If you want an enemy ship to stop

then chop the ropes that hold up

the sails. The sails will collapse and

fall on the crew. Pirate axes were

around 70 cm long and weighed

about a kilo. An axe is useful

for a quick chop. And a

quick chop is very nice

– especially if it’s a

lamb chop.

41

Tar bomb

Wrap a lump of tar, the size of your

head, around a rope. When the enemy

is close, set fire to the tar and use the rope

to throw it on to the enemy deck or sails. It

will stick and set fire to their ship. They won’t

be able to pull it off. While the crew try to put

out the fire you jump aboard and attack them. Just

make sure you don’t step on one of your own tar bombs

when you leap aboard.

Flintlock pistols

These pistols were used

by Caribbean pirates

but they weren’t deadly.

They were noisy and made

clouds of smoke but were

not very accurate. They took

a long time to load and often didn’t fire at all. Pirates like

Blackbeard carried a dozen of them stuffed into his belt to

save time. One of them would work sooner or later – or

you could always throw them at your enemy.

42

Marlin spikes

These metal spikes with

handles were not meant to

be weapons but tools for

working on ropes.

But the captain would lock the

guns and cutlasses away until you

went into battle. What could you use if

you wanted to attack the captain? The marlin

spike was a handy weapon.

Grappling hooks

Iron hooks on the end

of a long rope. Throw

them across to an enemy

ship and pull on the

rope. The other ship

won’t be able to sail away

from you. It’s a bit like a

spider trapping a fly.

43

Buccaneer knives

Buccaneers in the Caribbean enjoyed hunting wild pigs

or boars. They were expert shots but DIDN’T use their

guns to kill the pigs. They enjoyed the ‘sport’ of running

after the boar and chopping it down with their long sharp

knives. Each buccaneer had at least two large knives.

These knives were shorter than a cutlass. The aim

was to slice the back legs of the pig so it

couldn’t run. They would

then jump it from behind

and slit its throat.

Duck’s foot

If you want to shoot someone use a

duck’s foot. This was a pistol with FOUR barrels. You

could fire all four at the same time so you were sure to hit

something. The barrels were joined together and looked a

little like a duck’s foot. You’d be quackers not to use one!

44

…and one weapon to use

AGAINST a pirate attack:

Cows

In 1670 Panama City was under

attack. The Spanish governor wasn’t

too worried because he had a secret weapon …

a herd of cows, trained to charge at the English enemy.

The English were led by the famous Welsh pirate, Sir

Henry Morgan. His men were exhausted. On the march

to Panama they were so starved they had to eat their own

boots. Morgan’s men charged. The Spanish set the cows

loose ... but they were scared by the pirates. They turned

around and charged the Spanish by mistake. Oo-oops! (Or

should that be moo-oops?) The Spanish fled

but burned the city so Morgan went back

with nothing. Still, at least they had cows

to eat. Tastier than boots.

yum!

45

46

DID YOU KNOW…?

If you were a trader and afraid of pirates how could

you defend your ship? Put cannon on board? But

it was hard to find good gunners – they were either

in the navy or on pirate ships. And a cannon is

no good without a gunner. So some ship-owners

painted pictures of cannon on the sides of their

ships and hoped it would scare the pirates away.

it was only a painted cannon!

yes, but he was

hit by a painted

cannon ball

47

Y

ou can’t just jump on a ship and sail off looking

for other ships to attack. Pirates had special

ways of doing things – tactics.

TERRIBLE

TACTICS

Ransom a ship

Capture a ship and sell it back to the owner. That

saves you taking the captured ships to port, selling

the treasure and killing the crew.

Black Bart, a Welshman, was a good sailor and

fighter. He terrorized the ships in the Caribbean

and off the Guinea coast. In one raid he captured

eleven ships and sold ten back to their owners.

48

Fake females

The easiest way to capture a ship is to get

yourself invited on board. Once you are on

the deck you pull out your weapons and surprise

the crew.

But how do you trick the victims? After all,

no one would invite a pirate on board their

ship.

A painter called Auguste Francois Biard painted

a picture of pirates taking a ship. The pirates are

all dressed as women. We don’t know if it really

happened, but if it did, it was crafty.

Hoax help

If you see a rich ship then don’t attack it. Put up

a signal flag that means, ‘Help!’ Every ship has to

go to the rescue of a ship in trouble. It’s the rule

of the seas. So the treasure ship sails towards the

pirate ship. When the two are side by side the

‘troubled’ pirate suddenly springs to life and

attacks. Sneaky.

how’s me

lippy?

arrr! that be

fine. ’tis your

eye-liner

that’s a mess

49

Fire cannon

Pirate ships didn’t want to sink other ships –

they wanted to rob them. But sometimes they

would shoot to smash the masts – or just to

scare their victims into giving up.

But firing a cannon wasn’t an easy job. The

master gunner would have to call out these

orders … in the right order!

‘Cast off the tackles and breechings.’

‘Seize the breechings.’

‘Unstop the touch-hole.’

‘Ram home wad and cartridge.’

‘Shoot the gun-wad.’

‘Run out the gun.’

‘Lay down handspikes

and crows.’

‘Point your gun.’

‘Fire!’

Then start all over again for the next shot.

Really cruel pirates would fire ‘bar’ shot or

‘chain’ shot – cannon balls that split open when

they landed and scattered deadly splinters or chains

all over the deck. They could tear down a mast –

they could also tear a man to shreds.

50

Ghost ship

Around 1720 Anne Bonney, the pirate queen, saw

a merchant ship coming her way. She got her men

to cover themselves in red paint and lie on the

deck of her ship. It looked as if they were covered

in blood after a massacre.

When a terrified crew from a merchant ship

came aboard to bury the corpses the ‘dead’ men

leapt into life and killed them.

Red paint and real blood flooded the deck. Yeuch.

Fly the flag

Pirate ships looked a lot like other ships … until

they raised the ‘Jolly Roger’ flag with its skull and

cross bones (see page 87).

So some crafty pirates would raise a friendly

flag and let their prize come close. When the

other ship was in reach, the pirates suddenly

switched flags to the pirate flag and attacked.

What a perfect ploy,” says

one of Anne Bonney’s crew.

“Why go after enemy ships,

when you can get them to

come to you?

“

“

51

But SOMETIMES they fell into their own trap.

Black Bart was being hunted by the English navy.

He was happy to see a ship with a French flag and

sailed up to it. Suddenly the French flag was cut

down and the English flag took its place.

The ‘French’ ship was an English navy ship.

Black Bart found out too late. Within minutes

he was dead.

Brutal battles

In a sea battle the Vikings would try to ram their

enemies’ boats head on. When the boats collided,

they would jump across and fight until one side

won or they were exhausted. Sometimes they

had to stop when the dead bodies were piled too

high. When ships started to use cannon they

were usually along the side of the deck. So pirates

knew it was best to attack ships from the back.

52

Take the money and run

Roman rebel Spartacus (who died in 71 bc) was

in trouble and wanted to escape to Sicily. He

made a deal with a pirate fleet – they would take

Spartacus and his men to safety, Spartacus would

pay them.

Spartacus paid them. The pirates sailed off

without him.

(Don’t feel too sorry for Spartacus the sap. He

once crucified 300 Roman soldiers in revenge for

the death of his friend.)

DID YOU KNOW…?

Pirate ships did NOT attack navy ships. They

might lose the battle. They were cowards and

bullies who attacked trading ships that had no

guns or fighting men on board.

53

P

eople like unusual

stories. The idea of

women pirates is a bit

odd. There are many

foul females in pirate

legend … the trouble

is many of them are

just fibs about females.

You need a Horrible

Histories look at the

true and the terrible

tosh that’s been talked.

WICKED

WOMEN

PIRATES

54

Can you spot the real stories from the ones that are

as false as a wooden leg?

Queen Teuta of the Illyrians

This queen of Illyria (Albania

today) reigned between 231 and

228 bc. She set out to attack cities

in the Mediterranean. On the way

they came across some Roman

traders and robbed them. Queen

Teuta liked this idea – her ships took up piracy.

The Romans sent two messengers to warn her to

stop. That upset Teuta and she had the messengers

murdered.

That made the Romans really mad. They invaded

Illyria and defeated her.

Sadie the Goat

Sadie worked as a mugger in

New York around 1850. She

would head-butt her victim in

the stomach then rob him. That’s

how she got her name ‘the Goat’.

The streets of New York were too tough for her:

when her ear was bitten off in a fight she left to be

a pirate. She collected her chewed-off ear and wore

it on a chain around her neck. She sailed round the

coast near New York attacking ships.

i’m a

butting

buccaneer!

55

Sadie read pirate books and tried to behave like

the pirates of the Caribbean … she even made

victims walk the plank (which was just a story-

book torture until then).

Her crew of thugs made very little money and

they went back to the slums of New York.

Granuaile

Grace O’Malley (1530–1603)

led a fleet of Irish raiders who

attacked English ships around

1577. She was known as

Granuaile because she cropped

her hair very short and Granuaile means ‘Bald’

in Irish.

In 1593 she was arrested and her ships were

taken away from her. She was furious, so she

went to Queen Elizabeth I to complain. Queen

Bess gave Granuaile money so she could give

up the pirate life.

Two hundred years after she died a Scottish

farmer sent a ship to western Ireland to rob old

cemeteries. He stole the bones to grind and use

as fertilizer. Unfortunately his robbers pinched

Grace’s skull and her angry spirit was avenged

in a strange way. One of her teeth found its way

into a turnip which the thieving Scottish farmer

ate and choked on!

it’s a

crew cut

56

Mary Read

Mary’s mother disguised her as a

boy to get her a job as a manservant.

Mary ran off to join the French army.

She was captured by a pirate crew

with a woman pirate, Anne Bonney

– they became friends and Mary decided to join

them. When one of her boyfriends got into a duel

she took his place … and won.

She was captured and sent to prison. She was not

hanged but in 1721 died of fever in the filthy cell.

Anne Bonney

Anne Bonney (1700–22) was the

girlfriend of pirate Jack Rackham.

She decided to join his pirate crew

and dressed herself as a man.

When the navy came to get Jack

he gave up without a fight. The only

ones fighting were Anne and her friend, Mary Read.

Anne was disgusted with Jack and his men. She

was happy to watch him hang, and said…

If you would have

fought like a man you

needn’t die like a dog.

57

Cutlass Liz

Elizabeth Stirland was born in

Devon in 1577 and sailed to

America to start a new life. But

native American Indians wiped out

her colony – she only escaped by

stabbing her guard.

She returned to England but got bored. She went

back to sea as a pirate, dressed as

a man, and robbed Spanish ships of their fortune.

She earned the name ‘Cutlass Liz’ because she

enjoyed cutting men’s throats with her cutlass.

She was betrayed by a Spaniard. As she was led

out to execution she managed to kill the traitor

with a hidden knife.

Gunpowder Gertie

In 1898 Gertrude Stubbs was

sacked from her job on a coal

ship. She took her revenge by

stealing a police boat and using it

to rob ships near Whitby (north

Yorkshire). One of her crew was

captured and he said, ‘I’ll tell you all about Gertie

if you set me free’. He betrayed her.

Gertie was arrested and died of a fever in jail.

Her treasure was never discovered.

pirating is

a blast

58

Maria Cobham

She sailed the Atlantic with her

pirate husband in the 1700s. A

writer said, ‘Murder for Maria

was a pleasure and a sport.’

She killed a navy officer, stripped

off his uniform and wore it for her pirate raids.

She once had three prisoners lined up on

deck and used them for shooting practice. She

retired to France with her husband but her past

haunted her horribly. She took a lonely walk

along the cliffs, drank poison and threw herself

in the sea.

Charlotte de Berry

Charlotte was born in England

in 1636. When she grew up she

fell in love with a sailor. When

the Royal Navy ordered him to

sea, she donned male clothes

and joined him on board his ship as his brother.

Sometime after the navy ship left England, pirates

attacked it. The pirate captain discovered Charlotte

was a woman, but she fought a duel with him and

lopped off his head. The pirates made Charlotte

their new captain.

She was more cruel than any pirate king. One

story said she had sewn shut a captain’s mouth.

59

In her final battle Charlotte’s husband was killed.

She won the battle ... then leapt overboard to join

her dead husband.

Alwilda

Alwilda was a Viking Princess

around ad 850. Her father said, ‘You

must marry Prince Alf of Denmark.’

Alwilda had never met Alf and didn’t

like the sound of him. She dressed as

a man and ran off to sea with a few friends.

In the Baltic Sea the gang of girls met a Viking

pirate ship that had just lost its captain. The Viking

pirates liked her so much they offered her the job.

She did so well the Danish king sent his son to

hunt them down. Who was the son? Prince Alf, of

course. (You can see what is coming, can’t you?)

Alf tracked down Alwida’s pirates and attacked.

He fought so bravely Alwilda fell in love with him

at once. She surrendered … and married him.

Did you spot the tosh from the truth? Granuaile,

Liz, Gertie, Maria and Charlotte and Alwilda were

all tosh.

Here are the facts:

• The story of Cutlass Liz is a local legend, BUT ...

the real Elizabeth Stirland never left Devon.

60

Anyway, people of those days didn’t much use the

word ‘cutlass’ or ‘Liz’ – they called pirate swords

‘hangers’ and the short name for ‘Elizabeth’ was

‘Bess’ … if she’d really been a pirate she’d have

been Hanger Bess!

• Gertie’s story was made up by a teacher who told

it to her class. She sent it to a newspaper as an April

fool joke. A lot of people believe it and say there

really WAS a Gunpowder Gertie. There wasn’t.

• Maria Cobham and her husband were probably

completely made up.

• Charlotte’s story was first printed in 1836. Many

people believe it. Yet it is too daft to be true.

• Alwilda’s story was probably half truth, half legend.

hey i’m

not tosh

apparently i’m

totally tosh

half tosh? i’ll

give him half

tosh. i’ll tear

out his half-

toshing throat!

61

P

irates were tough

on their enemies ...

and tough on their

friends. Many sailors

worked on trading

ships and learned to

hate the cruel captains.

When a sailor turned

to piracy he would

make sure the trader

captain suffered most

of all. They would

sometimes question

the captured crew…

CUT-THROAT

CRUELTIES

is your captain

kind to you?

If the answer was ‘No’ then the captain could die.

Pirate Phillip Lyne said

in 1726 that he had murdered

37 captains. That was not the

only cruelty that went on at sea…

MOSES’ LAW

T

he Bible said that 40 lashes of a whip would

kill a man. If a pirate captain wanted to punish

a man – but not kill him – he would order 39

lashes. The truth is a weak man could easily die

from 20 lashes. There are also reports of sailors

being lashed 100 times and living.

The Romans also used the 39-lash rule. But their

whips had 12 strands and lead weights in the end

or even hooks. It tore the skin and flesh off the

back. The sailors’ ‘cat-o’-nine tails’ whips had

nine strands with knots at the end.

The trouble is the ‘cat’ would be soaked

in the stale blood of the last victim.

The germs would get into the next

man’s wounds. If the whipping

didn’t kill you, the blood

poisoning might.

hic

MAROONING

A

pirate killer or a pirate who stole from his

mates could be marooned – that is, dropped off

on a deserted island with a bottle of rum, a pistol

and some gunpowder.

Better than death?

No. It was worse. It was a slow death. It was

never an island with water and fruit,

animals to shoot and eat, wood to

burn. Just rock or sand. The Pirate

would die slowly … or he could use

the pistol to shoot himself.

64

KEEL-HAULING

T

he bottom of a wooden ship – the ‘keel’

1

– soon

had a crust of shellfish stuck to it. This slowed

the ship down.

The ship had to be run up on to a beach so the

shells could be scraped off. But the rough sides could

also be used to punish a sailor. A rope was fastened

to the victim’s feet and hands. He was dragged across

the rough bottom of the ship and up the other side.

Sometimes this would be done at sea so the sailor

couldn’t breathe as he was dragged under.

SHOOTING

S

hooting a pirate was quick and simple. It taught

the crew a lesson.

catch that ship!

catch that ship?

this tub couldn’t

catch a cold

1 ‘What was the keel?’ I hear you cry. It was a long wooden spar that ran

down the centre of the hull for the whole length of the ship.

65

In the 1740s pirate Captain Daniel kidnapped a

priest and forced him to have a Christian service

on his ship. One of the pirate crew thought it was a

joke. He made a very rude sign to the priest. Captain

Daniel drew his pistol and shot the man dead.

CHINESE CHOPPERS

S

ome Chinese pirates were very cruel. Captives

were crushed into tiny cabins then fed on rats,

mice and caterpillars.

Some reports say Chinese pirates nailed their

prisoners’ feet to the deck. Then they beat them

to death, cut them up and ate them.

RUTHLESS ROVERS

T

he Gujarati rovers were the most feared pirates

in the Indian Ocean. When they sailed the west

coast of India they took their families with them.

If they captured someone who had no treasure

they thought the victim might have swallowed

it. So they forced prisoners to swallow tamarind

root to make them vomit up any jewels.

66

EARACHE

P

irate queen Ching Shih did not like her sailors

to desert. If they were caught she had their

ears sliced off and shown to the other sailors as

a lesson.

But that was kind compared to what pirate Ned

Low did when he captured a Nantucket whaling

ship. He made her captain

eat his own sliced-off

ears, sprinkled with salt. Then he killed him.

SEW CRUEL

D

utch pirate Dirk Chivers captured two ships

in 1695. Captain Sawbridge was one of

those taken prisoner. Sawbridge was not happy.

Sawbridge moaned ... and moaned ... and moaned.

Chivers was so fed up with his moaning he took a

sail needle and sewed up Sawbridge’s mouth.

Sailor’S Sea Salt

Try our salted ear with beer

67

PITILESS PIRATES

S

ome Cuban pirates captured the English ship

Eliza Ann. A woman called Lucretia Parker

wrote to her brother to tell the tale of what

happened to the crew…

Luckily a British warship appeared before they

could turn on Lucretia. The pirates abandoned the

Eliza Ann and she was saved. They were arrested

later in Jamaica.

Lucretia Parker identified them and had the

pleasure of watching them hang.

68

P

irates may seem lawless but they often

had their own rules: ‘The Pirate Articles’.

Just like proper laws, you had to obey or

be punished.

Sometimes pirates captured a trading ship

and gave the crew a choice…

Sometimes they killed anyone who refused

to sign. These are the ‘Pirate Articles’. Would

you sign them … or die?

sign the pirate articles and

join us, or we’ll use

you like a slave

ROTTEN RULES

69

Every man on the crew has an equal vote on their action and

an equal share of food and drink on the ship. The Captain

shall receive two persons’ share of any treasure.

All men shall have an equal share of treasure. Any man who

takes more than his share of gold or jewels or money shall be

punished by marooning.

No person shall play cards or dice for money.

Lights and candles shall be put out at eight o’clock

each night.

Each person must make sure his own pistol and cutlass are

well kept and ready for use at all times.

No boy or woman shall be allowed on board the ship when

she sails. Any man carrying a woman to sea shall suffer death

1

.

Any person who deserts the ship in a battle shall suffer death

or marooning.

There shall be no fighting on board ship. All quarrels shall

be settled on the shore with sword and cutlass.

No person shall talk of leaving the crew until everyone has

shared at least a thousand pounds.

The ship’s musicians shall be allowed to rest on a Sunday.

BUT … there wasn’t just ONE pirate code.

The one above was written by Black Bart –

other pirates had other rules.

1 But what about women pirates? This is an actual document –

ask the writer!

70

PIRATE

SHIPS

I

f you’re going to be a pirate

then you need to give your

ship a terrifying name. You

would NOT want to call your

ship something sweet like

Blessing … but pirate Captain

Brown did. Which is your

favourite from these deadly

days of the Caribbean pirates?

4

3

2

1

71

Ship

1 Black Joke

2 Delight

3 Flying Dragon

4 New York Revenge

5 Night Rambler

6 Queen Anne’s

Revenge

7 Snap Dragon

8 Speedy Return

9 Sudden Death

10 Tiger

Pirate

Benito de Soto

Francis Spriggs

Edmund Condent

William Kidd

Captain Cooper

Blackbeard

Captain Goldsmith

John Bowen

Derdrake

Sir Richard Grenville

10

9

8

7

6

5

72

N

ot many pirates

lived an exciting

and happy life. Most

of them were simple

criminals with a rough

life and an unhappy end.

PIRATE

LOSERS

POOR AND PITIFUL PLUNDERERS

73

Captain Hiram Breakes (born 1745)

Breakes was a Dutch sailor who fell in love with

a woman called Mrs Snyde. Soon afterwards Mr

Snyde died … from poison. Breakes and Mrs Snyde

were tried. Mrs Snyde said she didn’t do it and they

got away with murder.

Then Breakes stole his boss’s ship and used it to

attack a treasure ship from Chile. He had the crew

murdered.

He said…

This was not a very clever thing to say. (Pirate

Erik Cobham said pretty much the same thing,

‘Dead cats don’t meow.’)

When he went back to Holland he found Mrs

Snyde had tried to poison their baby son and

had been hanged. Breakes was so upset he threw

himself off a Dutch dyke

and drowned himself.

You COULD say …

Snyde died; Mrs Snyde

tried; Mrs Snyde lied;

Baby Snyde died, Mrs Snyde tried;

Mrs Snyde died; Breakes cried.

dead men tell

no tales

74

Abraham Cooke (1611–48)

This Welshman went to the Caribbean to herd

cattle. He killed the cattle and sold the meat to the

Spanish treasure ships. Then he discovered it was

better to rob those ships.

He and his men stole so much treasure they

built houses at Port Royal with doors of gold. Then

Cooke sailed into a trap. He attacked a Spanish

trading ship which was filled with Spanish soldiers

and Cooke died in the fighting.

Cyril Hood (died 1648)

Cyril Hood was a useless buccaneer. In 1648 he

gave up pirating and decided to make some money

by betraying his old pirate pals.

Hood went to a Spanish captain and said, ‘I know

where the next attack is planned – pay me one

hundred gold pieces and I’ll tell you.’ The Spanish

captain didn’t believe sad Cyril and refused to pay.

WANTED

CARIBBEAN BUTCHER

Previous provider has disappeared,

we’ve not herd from them since!

75

he’s

over

there

So horrible Hood said, ‘All right, give me a bottle

of rum and I’ll tell you.’ This time the captain agreed.

Cyril Hood betrayed buccaneer Abraham Cooke.

Cooke got killed – Hood got drunk. Cooke’s cousin

Abel got hold of Hood and hanged him from the

mast of his ship.

Rachel Wall (1760–89)

Around the age of 16, blue-eyed Rachel took a trip

to Pennsylvania for the funeral of her grandfather.

While wandering the docks she met a shady

fisherman by the name of George Wall. She soon

married him, and the two of them went to live

in Boston.

The hungry couple stole a ship and began

pirating off the Isle of Shoals. They tricked

passing ships by pretending to be in trouble.

76

‘Oh, help us!’ pretty Rachel would cry. Once they

had robbed their victims they would sink the

captured ships and drown everyone aboard.

Then in 1782 George was washed away in a

storm. Rachel made a living by creeping on board

ships in the harbour and raiding the cabins. She

was good at it. But in 1789 she was caught and

tried. At the age of 29 she was hanged.

William Fly (died 1726)

Fly was a boxer before he joined a pirate ship.

He led a mutiny and captured the captain. ‘Jump

or we’ll throw you overboard.’ The captain was

thrown. Fly took over and was a pitiless

master – he had many men lashed with

a hundred lashes.

77

Fly was a hopeless sailor and managed to capture

just one ship before his crew mutinied. They didn’t

throw him overboard. They handed him over for

hanging.

At least Fly enjoyed his execution. He stood on

the gallows, holding bunches of flowers, smiling

and waving. The noose wasn’t very well made so

Fly tied the knot properly before slipping it over

his head.

John Quelch (died 1704)

In 1703, John Quelch set off on the privateer

Charles. He didn’t like the captain much so,

shortly after leaving the dock, Quelch tossed him

overboard. He headed for the south Atlantic, as a

privateer to rob French and Spanish ships.

Not long afterwards he came across a Portuguese

gold ship and robbed her. Big mistake. England

was at peace with Portugal and was not allowed

to attack their ships.

The English navy wanted to show Portugal how

sorry they were. Quelch was captured, taken back

to Maine and hanged.

78

Nicholas Brown (died 1726)

In the 1700s, Brown was a pirate attacking ships

around Jamaica. He was caught and sentenced to

hang. But the King spared his life if he promised

to give up piracy.

Brown, however, did go back to piracy and

became known as ‘The Grand Pirate’. Now the

British Navy set out to hunt him down. The

man who caught Brown was his old school pal,

John Drudge. In 1726, Drudge killed Brown …

then chopped off his head and pickled it. He

took the head back to Britain to claim the

reward.

john me ol’ mate

it’s been years.

how are you?

great thanks

nick, fine. busy

-you know

how it is

yeah…

well i’ve

gotta head

off now

yeah

79

Rahmah bin Jabr (1756–1826)

Rahmah made himself the most famous pirate of

the Persian Gulf. He started off badly, losing one

eye in a battle, but he raided ships for 50 years

and lived to the age of 70.

This piratical pensioner should have stopped

there and lived to 80. But he upset the people of

Bahrain so much they sent all of their navy after

him. Rahmah knew he was beaten. He let his

enemies close in on him. Then he set fire to the

gunpowder store on his own ship. He blew up

many enemy ships … the bits of bin Jabr must

have enjoyed that.

Manuel Pardal Rivero (died 1670)

Manuel was from Portugal but became a privateer

for Spain. The trouble was he wasn’t a very good

pirate. In his first raid he sailed for the English fleet

in Jamaica ... but the wind changed and he attacked

Grand Cayman instead. He landed at a poor village,

stole two boats, captured four children and sailed

off.

He finally reached Jamaica and called the

governor, Sir Henry Morgan, to come out and

fight. Morgan sailed off and attacked Panama

instead and Manuel couldn’t stop him. At last he

did meet the English ship of Captain John Morris.

80

stand still!

Manuel’s crew jumped overboard – they drowned or

were shot as they swam ashore. Sir Henry Morgan

chased Manuel along the beach and shot him dead.

Captain William Kidd (1645–1701)

In 1696 Captain Kidd was sent to the Indian

Ocean with the job of catching pirates. Rich men

in America gave him the money to buy a ship. But

those men hoped he would really be robbing and

bringing them back a fortune.

Kidd did capture a rich prize, the Quedah

Merchant, but decided to share most of his loot with

his crew instead. He hid the rest on an island. The

rich Americans were furious. When he returned he

was arrested and found guilty of piracy. He was sent

back to England to hang.

81

He was hanged twice – the rope broke the first

time. Then he was hanged in chains till his body

rotted. Kidd died. His rich ‘friends’ lived on.

And one pirate winner…

Red Legs Greaves (c. 1670–80)

Red Legs Greaves was from a Scottish slave family.

He escaped and joined the cruel Captain Hawkins

as a Caribbean pirate. But Red Legs refused to

torture or kill prisoners. His bare Scottish legs

burned in the sun and that’s how he got his name.

Red Legs made a fortune in one raid on a Spanish

fortress. He retired to Nevis Island but was betrayed

and arrested and sentenced to hang. Then an

earthquake on Nevis destroyed the jail and Red

Legs was one of the few who lived. Lucky Red Legs.

Kindly Red Legs turned pirate-hunter and was

given a pardon. He died of old age, very rich

and loved by many people. Maybe the

kindly pirate deserved his good luck.

jo-ho-ho

avast ye. you’ve got

hairy willy on me slops,

you scurvy lubber

?

I

f a pirate shouted at you…

A PIRATE

TALK LIKE

83

I CAN’T SWIM!

I’LL DROWN

don’t worry-

the sharks will

eat you long

before that!

HEAVE TO

slops

hairy willy

Would you know what he was talking about?

Probably not. Here are ten words to help you…

Want a ship to stop?

Then call out ‘heave

to’ because that means

‘stand still’. It has nothing

to do with ‘heaving overboard’ … which is what

you’d do if you found an enemy on your ship…

That dried fish may not look very tasty but it’s

better than nothing.

Just remember you’re

eating something

pirates call Hairy Willy.

Slops were the 1700s sailor word for trousers.

Sailors were among the first

people to wear trousers. Some

went down to the ankles,

some just below the knees.

84

shiver me

timbers

A ‘lubber’ is a clumsy

person on a ship. He’d

be happier on land. If you

really want a cutlass up your

nose then call a pirate a ‘landlubber’.

If you are in danger from

attack by another ship

then you may want to sink

your own ship and row

off in a lifeboat. Do NOT say, ‘Poke a little hole in

my boat and let it sink.’ To sink your own ship is

to ‘scuttle’ it.

If you see a ship you want

to capture you have to

tell it to stop. Do NOT

shout, ‘Excuse me, but

would you mind slowing down so I can rob you?’

Shout ‘Avast ye!’ It means ‘Stop … or else!’

If a ship gets a sudden

blast from a cannon then

its masts (‘timbers’) are

shaken (or ‘shivered’). So a shocked

ship has shivered timbers. If YOU

get a shock then don’t say, ‘Goodness me, I am

surprised!’, say, ‘Shiver me timbers!’

landlubber

scuttle

avast ye

85

scurvy

knave

swabbie

bilge

The very bottom of the ship.

This is where water seeps in,

rats live and all the filth of

the ship ends up. It stinks and

the air down there is deadly. Never call a pirate

a bilge rat or he may take a cutlass to your

cheeky tongue.

A swab was a mop made of

rope ends or threads.

A swabbie had the job

of mopping the deck –

cleaning up the blood and guts

after a fight. Not a nice job.

Scurvy was a disease that

many sailors suffered

from at sea. Your skin

went scabby and even your mum

wouldn’t want to kiss you! And

a ‘knave’ is a villain. So scurvy knave or scabby

villain: take your pick – or pick your scab.

No landlubbers need apply

VACANCIES

Swabbies needed due to scurvy outbreak

86

But most of all … talk tough

Whatever you say, make it sound nasty. A pirate

told his prisoner, Captain William Snelgrave, in

the 1700s…

I will give you this warning … never argue with a pirate.

For, suppose I had chopped your skull in two for your cheek,

what would you have got? Nothing but destruction…

SECOND-HAND SAIL SALE

NOW ON

SAILS MAY BE TORN AND BLOODIED

FROM PREVIOUS USE... YOU’RE WELCOME!

87

I

f you want to be a

pirate then get a flag.

Every pirate crew had

its own flag – usually

with skeletons, skulls,

bones and swords.

The pirate flag was

often called the ‘Jolly

Roger’ – that is from the

French ‘jolie rouge’ or

‘pretty red’.

The first pirate flags

were red. The other name

for the pirate flag was:

Captain Death

FLYTHEFLAG

The black flag may have been a signal that meant…

If the victim tried to escape then the red flag was

raised.

That meant…

Here are a few of Captain Death’s jolly flags:

88

John Avery

(‘

Long Ben’

)

Probably the first to fly

Captain Death around

1694. His ship was called

The Fancy

– fancy that! He

died a poor beggar back in

England.

Edward England

Invented the skull over crossed

bones flag. Around 1720 he

roamed the coasts of Africa and

was murderous in Madagascar.

He probably had a wooden leg

and a wild beard. He could have

been the real ‘Long John Silver’

from the book

Treasure Island

.

Richard Worley

He robbed around the end

of 1718 off the coast of New

York. He invented the Jolly

Roger flag with the skull and

cross bones – the most popular

flag. The British Navy caught

him, took him ashore in North

Carolina and hanged him.

89

Blackbeard

(aka Edward Teach, Edward Thatch)

Blackbeard started off by robbing for

the king as a privateer. After a while

he got fed up with giving up his loot

to the mean monarch. He kept the

cash and that made him a pirate. On

his flag a skeleton-devil is holding

an hourglass meaning, ‘Your time

is running out!’ It is about to stab a

bleeding heart.

Ned Low

Nasty Ned had a smart red

skeleton on his flag. This meant,

‘I mean business – make no

bones about it.’ He was last seen

pirating round Africa in 1724.

He’s probably just a red skeleton

by now.

Calico Jack Rackham

Calico Jack swapped the cross

bones for cross cutlasses. His

name was used for characters in

movies such as

Cut-throat Island

and

Pirates of the Caribbean

.

In the end, when the navy came

to get him, he gave up without a

fight. Some hero.

90

Black Bart

Black Bart (Bartholomew Roberts)

hated the governors of Barbados

and Martinique. So he had their

heads put on his flag as a warning

… Black Barty designed a flag,

portraying a giant figure of

himself standing, sword in hand,

astride two skulls labelled A.B.H.

(‘a Barbadian’s head’) and A.M.H.

(‘a Martinican’s head’).

Thomas Tew

His Captain Death was a simple

message … ‘This is what you’re

going to get if you don’t give

up quietly.’ This flag was seen

everywhere from America to

the Mediterranean in Europe.

But the cutlass didn’t save him

when a cannon shot blew him

to pieces.

Emanuel Wynne

This French pirate copied the rest. The

skull, the cross bones AND the hourglass.

You may notice the hourglass is full at

both ends – it will never run out. Maybe

the message was, ‘If you don't give up

then I warn you, you'll die of old age!’

HORRIBLE HISTORIES NOTE:

Never mind how much you hate the

school governors, don't try this at school

or at skull.

91

Christopher Moody

Christopher Moody attacked

ships off the coast of Carolina

between 1713 and 1718. He

may not be famous as a pirate

but he is remembered for his

colourful flag.

Henry Morgan

The most horrible flag, to the

Spanish, was this one. It is the Union

Jack, flown by British ships from

1606 to 1801. When Britain was at

war with Spain, privateers like Henry

Morgan flew it as they attacked

Spanish galleons. Naughty Morgan

even attacked the Spanish when

Britain were at PEACE with them!

Well, a privateer has to make a living.

HORRIBLE

HISTORIES WARNING

SOME of these flags may

have been invented in

pirate tales. Not many pirate

flags have been found.

MOST of these could be

fake or made up by writers.

92

FOUL

1 Pirates were often at sea for a long time so

they took hens along (for eggs and meat). They also

took ‘hardtack’ biscuits and limes. Their meat was

often full of maggots and their biscuits were alive

with weevils. They brushed some off and swallowed

the rest.

2 On one island pirates were short of food so they

had to eat snakes and monkeys.

3 When they needed to go to the loo they used a

rope cage hanging over the sea.

FACTS

93

4 When pirates buried treasure they would

sometimes murder a prisoner and bury him on top

of the treasure. That way the prisoner’s ghost would

guard the treasure. A sort of spook-curity guard. If

they didn’t have a prisoner then they might kill a

member of the crew.

There was a sensible reason for this too. If the

law came looking for the treasure they would say...

But when they dug down they would say…

5 Not many pirate ships had a doctor on board.

So who cut off your leg or your arm if it was

shattered in battle?

a fresh pile of earth,

their treasure is there!

no, it’s just a grave. fill it in again

94

The carpenter, of course, because he was handy

with the saw.

Or sometimes it would be the ship’s cook who

was good at carving up meat. That’s neat.

Captain Ned Low enjoyed torturing his victims.

But in one drunken attack he tangled with one of

his own men and had his cheek slashed open.

The drunken ship’s doctor tried to sew it up but

Low didn’t like it and told the doctor:

Low killed the doctor then did just what he said ...

sewed up his own face. It left a scary scar. Just

what a pirate wanted!

6 There were usually more rats on a ship than

sailors.

Rats chewed the ropes, they chewed the wood

and they even chewed the pirates. They also ate

the food stored in the cabins.

Pirates would sometimes have rat hunts. One

Spanish ship sailed from Europe to South America

you couldn’t sew

a button on a

shirt, you idiot!

fine - see

if you can

do better!

95

and had rat hunts along the way. The captain

reported…

7 Pirates kept pets. They liked to take monkeys

because they could sell them when they landed

in Europe.

8 Pirates also kept working animals. Buccaneers

kept dogs to help them with their hunting.

Many ships carried cats. But the crew were

very superstitious. Here is the rule…

We killed 4,000 rats on that one journey.

1 If a black cat walks towards

a sailor he will be lucky

2 If a black cat walks towards a

sailor but then turns round and

walks away he will be unlucky

3 If a black cat is thrown

overboard a storm will follow

and the ship will be cursed

96

9 The captain was in charge of the ship and you

had to obey him in a battle. But when the crew

were not fighting they could vote to have a new

captain.

A ‘good’ pirate captain was one who helped

his crew win lots of treasure.

A ‘bad’ pirate captain was usually a dead

pirate captain.

10The worst job on a pirate ship was the job of

‘powder monkey’. In a battle the powder monkey

had to keep the gunners supplied with gunpowder.

The job was usually given to boys about 11 or 12

years old – too young to fight with swords and

pistols.

They were often kidnapped from their parents

and forced to work. They were the youngest on

the ship and the most bullied.

Powder monkey misery.

our captain is hopeless

97

I

t was all very well

being a pirate –

roaming the seas and

bashing people – until

you were caught. Then

you were treated with

little pity.

PIRATE

PUNISHMENTS

Hanging

Pirates who were caught were usually hanged. In

the 1700s this was a slow and horrible way to die.

In London the hangings didn’t take place at the

usual jails. The pirates were hanged at the docks

where sailors could watch and cheer … or fear.

The place was known as Execution Dock.

98

When the tide came in the bodies went under the

water. After three soakings they were cut down.

Pirates were afraid of being hanged. If they were

not given a proper burial they thought their spirits

would go to hell. So some chose to die rather than

be captured.

Two of Ned Low’s pirates were terrified when

a navy ship chased them. But they could not kill

themselves – that was against their religion too.

They would go to hell!

So each agreed to stand toe to toe, put a pistol to

his friend’s head and each would kill the other.

The ship escaped just in time. That saved

someone having to mop brains off the deck.

Hanging in cHains

The pirate’s dead body would often be left swinging

in the wind to teach people a lesson.

In 1704 Captain Quelch and five of his crew were

hanged in Boston, USA. In case you couldn’t get

to see the bodies in chains a poet wrote about it

for you…

99

Captain Kidd’s dead body was

painted with tar so it wouldn’t rot.

The black corpse was hung in a

cage by the river Thames.

DID YOU KNOW…?

If a pirate was captured he would

usually be taken to the nearest port

for hanging. But he wasn’t given a

comfortable trip. Sometimes he’d

be bound with ropes then hung up

with the sails to swing in the wind.

i feel

rotten

100

Buried face down

The executed pirate was often buried on the

seashore near where he was executed.

He wasn’t buried in a churchyard because then

his spirit would go to heaven.

Just to be extra sure his spirit stayed lost for

ever, he was buried face down.

Burned at tHe stake

Pirates in North Africa often captured Arab

prisoners. The pirates were Christians (sort of)

while the Arabs were Muslims. So the pirates forced

the Arab Muslims to become Arab Christians ...

or die.

The trouble was the Muslims hated the Arab

Christians more than anything. If one was captured

by his old Arab friends he faced an extra-nasty

punishment ... he was burned alive.

Only two pieces of eight per scoop

Ye olde

aYe-scream Parlour

New flavours include Fruity-Booty

(with real gold nuggets) and Rum-No-Raisin

101

Buried alive

Pirates lived by the sea and some died by the sea.

Welsh pirate Colyn Dolphyn was trapped at

St Donats on the south coast of Wales. He was

buried in the sand up to his neck. The tide came

in slowly and he drowned.

drY in tHe sun

At Dead Man’s Cay, near Kingston, Jamaica, pirates

were executed by being fastened in an iron cage

and hung up on a post to ‘dry in the sun’.

Of course, after a slow and painful day they

would ‘die in the sun’.

The cage was made to fit tight round the pirate

so his bones wouldn’t fall away when his flesh

rotted. Skeletons could hang there for years.

a real drag

One popular sort of punishment was to drag

a pirate along behind a ship on a length of rope

water way to go

102

until he begged for mercy, drowned or was eaten

by sharks. (A lot of people PAY to have this done

to them today. They call it water-skiing.)

a tHousand cuts

The Chinese had the most vicious punishment

for pirate Nicholas Iquan. It was a slow death

called ‘death of a thousand cuts’:

• A knife made a cut in the flesh, then the wound

was sealed with a hot iron.

• This was done hundreds of times, working from

the hands and feet towards the heart.

Just to make it worse for Iquan he had to watch

this execution carried out on his two sons.

gruB uP

A pirate prisoner held below deck on a pirate ship

could be offered some disgusting food – grubs,

beetles or cockroaches. They would have some

slimy water to wash them down with. It was either

eat the grubby grub or starve.

Bolt uP

An odd punishment

for a pirate was to

have iron bolts

jammed into

his mouth.

don’t bolt your food!

ha!

nuts

103

P

irates didn’t belong

to any country.

So any country could

capture a pirate crew

and punish them.

If you were lucky they

took away your ship.

If you were unlucky

you met a nastier

end…

DIRE

DEATHS

104

Caesar’s pirates

Around 75 bc young Julius Caesar was on his way to

Rhodes when the ship he was on was captured by

pirates. The pirates said they’d set him free if his

family paid 20 talents (gold pieces).

Julius was upset…

So the pirates asked his parents for 50 and got it.

He was set free.

Big mistake.

Years later Caesar hunted them down and had

them all crucified.

He was a little cross – they got a great big cross.

i’m going to be an emperor, i’m

worth more than that. ask for

at least 50 talents

Because all buccaneers deserve

to feel booty-ful

Corsair’s Cosmetics

105

Benito de Soto

Ruthless de Soto was caught in Gibraltar and

sentenced to hang in 1832.

He was sent off to Cadiz to be hanged along

with his crew.

He arrived in Cadiz along with his coffin.

A gallows was built on one of the docks and the

death was a cruel one.

The pirate was brought to the gallows on a

donkey cart and had to sit on his own coffin. When

he reached the gallows he had the noose put around

his neck and the cart would pull away leaving the

pirate to strangle slowly. De Soto did not want to

die that way. He stood on top of his coffin, reached

for the rope and put the noose around his neck. He

smiled to the crowd and cried:

You don’t need me to tell you what that means.

You do? Oh, very well, it means, ‘So long

everybody!’

He jumped from the cart to his death. It was still

slow and painful – but at least he went in style.

adios todos!

106

Black Bart

Bart was probably the cleverest pirate ever to

set sail. He captured over 400 ships and took

£50,000,000 in loot. He was killed in 1722 during

a battle with an English warship off the coast of

Africa. Half his throat was torn away by a cannon

blast. His crew dumped his body overboard so that

he would not be taken prisoner alive or dead.

There were 254 on his ship, including 70 African

slaves and 18 French sailors all of whom he had

forced into piracy. They may have been glad to see

him dead … but not for long. After the defeat 52

were hanged.

Bart’s motto was…

Thomas Tew

Thomas Tew roamed across the Atlantic,

Mediterranean and even the Red Sea.

His end came around 1695 during a sea battle

with an Indian ship. An enemy cannon fired small

pieces of metal at his ship – not the usual cannon

ball. These shredded Tew’s belly and his guts started

to fall out on to the deck. He lay screaming in

agony. His crew became so terrified by the sight

that they gave up without another shot being fired.

a short life but a merry one

107

William Lewis

In 1727 Lewis was chasing a rich treasure ship and

it was getting away from him. He climbed the mast

and began to tear out his own hair. He screamed…

Sure enough his ship speeded up and caught the

treasure ship.

But Lewis’s crew were terrified. ‘He has made a

deal with the Devil – the Devil will take him ... and

then he’ll come for us!’

They decided that Lewis had to die.

That night they crept into his cabin and stabbed

him to death.

He went to hell sooner than he thought.

Good devil – take this until

we meet in hell!

Second-hand hooks for sale

It will only cost you an arm or a leg!

BY HOOK

OR BY CROOK

108

DID YOU KNOW…?

Eustace was a Dutch monk in the 1200s. He gave

up God and made a deal with the Devil (they said).

The Devil gave Eustace the power to make his ship

invisible.

It didn’t do Eustace much good. He was beaten

in a sea battle in 1217 and his head was cut off.

Captain George Lowther

In 1722, Lowther pulled his ship, Happy Delivery,

up on to a beach to scrape the bottom clean. A

navy ship came along and Lowther’s crew were

trapped on the island, Blanquilla, near Venezuela.

Lowther jumped through a cabin window and

ran off to hide on the deserted island.

But he couldn’t last long with no food or water.

At last the navy found his corpse.

There was an empty pistol in its hand and a

bullet through its brain.

behold the head of a

pirate - i think

109

Captain Morgan

Sir Henry Morgan gave up pirating and became

governor of Jamaica in 1674. But he was bored and

drank endless glasses of rum to pass the time. This

destroyed his liver and he lay dying.

Morgan swelled like a balloon and turned yellow.

The doctor only knew one cure – he had Morgan

covered from head to toe in wet mud.

It didn’t work. Morgan died, brown and sticky.

Blackbeard

In 1718, Lieutenant Maynard of HMS Pearl was

sent to hunt Blackbeard down.

Maynard hid his men below deck and Blackbeard

jumped aboard to kill him. That’s when Maynard’s

force leapt out of their hiding places.

Maynard killed Blackbeard in a famous hand-to-

hand fight.

It’s said that Blackbeard was shot five times and

stabbed another 20 times before he finally fell. His

head was cut off and stuck on the mast.

His body was thrown overboard and it was said

that the headless corpse swam round the ship three

times before it sank.

BLACKBEARD BEATS HEADLESS

SWIMMING RECORD

110

DID YOU KNOW…?

Blackbeard fell in love with

16-year-old Mary Ormond and

made her his fourteenth wife.

(He was a popular man.) He

sailed off in 1618 and left

her in Portsmouth. He never

returned.

(He couldn’t. He was dead.) They say her ghost

wanders the cliff tops looking for his ship.

Caesar

Nothing to do with Julius Caesar! This Caesar

was an African slave who ran away and joined

Blackbeard’s crew in the Caribbean.

He was one of the few men Blackbeard really

trusted and he was given an order…

i spy

with my

little

eye…

i do not want to be

hanged. if i am ever in

danger then blow up the

ship and send me to a

watery grave

i will,

captain

111

When Blackbeard was shot and stabbed in 1718

Caesar hurried to blow up the ship as he promised.

But two of his pirate shipmates stopped him.

Caesar was caught and hanged along with the

others.

William Duell – who didn’t die a pirate death:

Duell was hanged in 1740 at Newgate Prison in

London. His body was cut down and taken to the

doctors to be cut up. (They wanted to experiment

to see how the human body worked.)

This was an extra punishment that pirates feared

– they believed they couldn’t go to heaven in bits.

The doctors washed Duell’s body ready to start

carving ... then noticed he was still breathing.

Two hours later he was sitting in a chair. He was

sent back to Newgate Prison, then transported

to America.

Take 2 para-sea-tamols and you’ll be back to your

old buccaneer self in no time.

Available at all reputable and non-reputable chemists.

FEELING A BIT

SEA SICK?

Headache not aiding your ambush?

112

DID YOU KNOW…?

A ghastly tale is told of a ghostly pirate ship. Late

one night in October, 1864, a US ship was ready

to set sail. Louis Billings, the master of the small

ship, was getting ready to raise the anchor when

he was frightened by a shriek from one of the crew.

He reported…

You may think it was a bad dream or a lie. But

that same ship was seen again in 1892 in the same

place with the same crew.

113

P

irates seem so much

fun. People like to

play at being pirates,

dress like pirates and tell

stories of pirates.

They have been doing

this for hundreds of years.

Some of the stories

written about pirates

have been believed by

many people.

Take the story of Jose

Gaspar. This is how the

story goes.

You have to decide.

Is it true or is it a lie?

EPILOGUE

1 That is ‘The United States Ship Enterprise’, not the Starship Enterprise

from ‘Star Trek’ which hadn’t been built in 1821 and which STILL hasn’t

been built … but you know it WILL be because you’ve seen the films!

1

114

So he MUST be true.

BUT ... there was

• no Captain Gaspar in the Spanish Navy

• no ship called Floridablanco

• no record of the US Navy attacking a ship of that

name.

It is almost certainly a lie.

Pirates make great stories. But the truth is they

were cruel and stupid men and women who lived

and died miserable lives.

Truly horrible history.

the end

115

INTERESTING

INDEX

Hang on! This isn’t one of your boring old indexes.

This is a horrible index. It’s the only index in

the world where you will find ‘vomiting cows’,

‘mopping-up brains’, ‘pickled heads’ and all the

other things you really HAVE to know if you want

to be a horrible historian. Read it and creep.

Alwilda (pirate) 59–60

Articles (rules) 68–9

Atlantic Ocean 31, 58, 77, 106

axes 24, 41, 67

Baltic Sea 59

Barbarossa brothers (corsairs) 31

Barbary Coast 16, 38

beetles 102

bilges 85

biscuits 92

Black Bart (pirate) 47, 51, 69, 90, 106

Blackbeard (pirate) 8, 12, 20, 35, 39, 42, 71, 89,

109–11

Blackburne, Lancelot (pirate) 30

boars, wild 44

bombs, tar 42

bones 10, 50, 55, 87–90, 101

Bonney, Anne (pirate) 8, 50, 56

bottoms scraping 64, 108

116

brains, mopping up 98

Brasiliano, Roche (buccaneer) 25

Breakes, Hiram (pirate) 73

Brown, Nicholas (pirate) 70, 78

buccaneers 15, 25, 31, 44, 54, 74–5, 95, 104, 111

burials 22, 50, 93, 98, 100–1

burnings 23, 45, 100

cages 92, 99, 101

cannon 10, 46, 49, 51, 84, 90, 106

Caribbean 11, 15, 30–2, 37, 39, 42, 44, 47, 55, 70,

74, 81, 89, 110

cat o’nine tails (whips) 62

caterpillars 5, 65

cats 73, 95

cattle 15, 38, 45, 74

Charles II, king 8, 37

Ching Shih (pirate) 66

Chivers, Dirk (pirate) 66

Cobham, Erik (pirate) 73

Cobham, Maria (pirate) 58, 60

cockroaches 102

Columbus, Christopher (explorer) 31

Cooke, Abraham (pirate) 74–5

corpses 22, 50–1, 98–9, 108–9

corsairs 15–16, 31, 40, 104

Corso, Juan (privateer) 25–6

cows, vomiting 38

Coxinga (pirate) 21–2

crucifixions 52, 104

cruelty 61–7

Cut-Throat Island (movie) 89

Cutlass Liz (pirate) 57, 59–60

cutlasses (curvy swords) 17, 19–20, 23, 40,

43–4, 57, 59–60, 69, 84–5

Daniel, Captain (pirate) 65

De Berry, Charlotte (pirate) 58–60

De Clisson, Jeanne (pirate) 24

De Soto, Benito (pirate) 71, 105

death 5, 35, 52, 61–7, 69, 87–8, 90, 102–12

Death, Captain (pirate flags) 87–91

decks 5, 13, 42, 48–51, 58, 65, 85, 98, 102, 106, 109

desert islands 9, 17, 63, 92, 108

doctors 93–4, 109, 111

dogs 17, 56, 95

Dolphyn, Colyn (pirate) 101

doubloons 34

draggings 64, 101–2

drunkards 21, 25, 75, 94

duck’s foot pistols 44–5

Duell, William (pirate) 111

ears 54, 66

earthquakes 81

Elizabeth I, queen 16, 26, 55

England, Edward (pirate) 88

Execution Dock 97–8

eye-patches 6, 10

feet 5, 13, 64–5, 102

fevers 56–7

filibusters 18

flags, flying 10, 48, 50–1, 87–91

flesh 62, 101–2

Fly, William (pirate) 76–7

food, foul 69, 92, 94, 102, 108

Franszoon, Captain (pirate) 36

freebooters 18

galleons 6, 23, 30, 39, 91

gallows 77, 105

gangrene 10

Gaspar, Jose (pirate) 113–14

ghosts, ghastly 24, 50, 93, 110, 112

gold 6–7, 9, 31, 34, 39, 69, 74, 77, 100, 104

Granuaile (pirate) 55, 59

grappling hooks 43

Greaves, Red Legs (pirate) 81

Greeks, groovy 14, 29

117

grubs 102

gunpowder 21, 57, 60, 63, 79, 96

Gunpowder Gertie (pirate) 57, 60

guts 85, 106

hair 16, 20, 55, 107

Hairy Willy (dried fish) 82–3

hands 35, 64, 90, 102, 108–9

Hands, Israel (pirate) 20

hangings 56, 67, 73, 75–81, 88, 97–101, 105–6,

110–11

Hawkins, Captain (pirate) 81

heads 20, 22, 77, 90, 111

cutting off 12, 26, 58, 108–9

head-butting 54

pickled 78

shooting in 23, 98

hearts 10, 23, 27, 67, 89, 102

hens 92

hiding places 32, 109

hoaxes 48

Hood, Basil (pirate) 38

hunger 39, 75

Indian Ocean 65, 80

Iquan, Nicholas (pirate) 102

Jabr, Rahman bin (pirate) 79

Jansz, Jan (pirate) 38

jewels 9, 26, 35, 65, 69

Jolly Rogers (flags) 50, 87–8

Jones, Jean Paul (pirate) 33

keel-hauling 64

Kidd, William (pirate) 9, 32, 71, 80–1, 99

kidnapping (people stealing) 9, 16, 22, 29, 31,

37–8, 65, 79, 96

Killigrew, Mary (pirate) 26

knaves (villains) 85

knives 40, 44, 57, 102

lashings 62, 76

legs 10, 18, 44, 54, 81, 88, 93, 107

Lewis, William (pirate) 107

L’Olonoise, François (pirate) 27

Long Ben (John Avery, pirate) 88

loos 92

loot (booty) 9, 16, 18, 34–9, 80, 89, 106

Low, Ned (pirate) 23, 66, 89, 94, 98

Lowther, George (pirate) 108

lubbers, clumsy 6, 82, 84

Lyne, Philip (pirate) 62

maggots 92

maps 9, 36–7

marooning 9, 17, 63, 69

Mediterranean 15, 29, 31, 54, 90, 106

mice 5, 36, 65

monkeys 92, 95–6

Moody, Christopher (pirate) 91

mops/mopping 85, 98

Morgan, Henry (privateer) 8, 21, 45, 79–80,

91, 109

Moses’ Law 62

mouths 58, 66, 102

mutinies 76–7

navies 9, 12, 16, 21, 38, 46, 51–2, 56, 58, 77–9,

88–9, 98, 108, 114

North Sea 29

Pardal Rivero, Manuel (privateer) 79–80

pardons 37, 81

parrots 6, 8

Patrick (saint) 29–30

Persian Gulf 79

pets 8, 95

pieces of eight (coins) 26, 34, 100

pigs 44

Pirates of the Caribbean (movie) 89

pistols 7, 42, 44, 63, 65, 69, 96, 98, 108

118

planks 11, 55

Plutarch (writer) 14

poison, putrid 36, 58, 62, 73

Polybius (writer) 14

prisoners, plenty of 5, 23, 27, 58, 65–6, 81, 86,

93, 100, 102, 106

prisons 56, 111

privateers 16, 21, 25, 31–2, 77, 79, 89, 91

punishments 9, 37, 62, 64, 68–9, 97–103, 111

Quelch, John (privateer) 77, 98

Rackham, Jack (pirate) 39, 56, 89

ransoms 39, 47

rats 5, 65, 85, 94–5

Red Sea 106

Romans, rotten 29, 52, 54, 62, 104

rovers 13, 17, 65

Sadie the Goat (pirate) 54–5

scabs 85

scurvy (dreadful disease) 82, 85

sharks 11, 83, 102

Sharp, Bartholomew (pirate) 37

shellfish 64

ships 29–32, 35–6, 39–43, 46–8, 64–6

death on 103–12

English 55, 67

flags on 87–91

ghost ships 50

life on 5, 14, 23, 49, 54, 61, 92–6

losers on 72–81

names of 70–1

navy ships 9, 12, 16, 21, 38, 51–2, 56, 58, 77–9,

88–9, 98, 108, 114

punishments on 97–102

rules on 68–9

slang on 82–6

slaves on 22, 37–8

Spanish 16–17, 21, 25–6, 39, 57

stories about 113–14

Viking 59

warships 24, 67

shootings 64–5

silver 26, 34

skeletons 10, 87, 89, 101

skulls 10, 20, 50, 55, 86–8, 90

slaves 9, 16–17, 22, 29, 31–2, 37–8, 68, 81, 106, 110

slops (trousers) 82–3

snakes 20, 92

Snelgrave, William (captain) 86

South Seas 37

Spartacus (rebel leader) 52

spikes 43, 49

spots, black 12

sugar 9, 32, 37

superstitions, stupid 95

swabs (mops) 85

tamarind (tree) 65

Teuta, queen 29, 54

Tew, Thomas (pirate) 90, 106

throats 16–17, 44, 57, 60, 106

tongues 27, 85

torture, terrifying 27, 55, 81

treasure, tons of 5, 9, 17, 37–9, 47–8, 57, 65, 69,

73–4, 88, 93, 96, 107, 114

Treasure Island (book) 88

vomit 38, 65

Wall, Rachel (pirate) 75–6

weapons 40–6, 48

weevils 92

Worley, Richard (pirate) 88

Wynne, Emmanuel (pirate) 90

TERRY

DEARY

T

erry Deary was born at

a very early age, so long

ago he can’t remember. But

his mother, who was there at

the time, says he was born

in Sunderland, north-east

England, in 1946 – so it’s not

true that he writes all Horrible

Histories from memory. At

school he was a horrible child

only interested in playing

football and giving teachers a

hard time. His history lessons

were so boring and so badly

taught, that he learned to

loathe the subject. Horrible

Histories is his revenge.

MARTIN

BROWN

M

artin Brown was born

in Melbourne, on the

proper side of the world. Ever

since he can remember he’s

been drawing. His dad used

to bring back huge sheets of

paper from work and Martin

would fill them with doodles

and little figures. Then, quite

suddenly, with food and water,

he grew up, moved to the UK

and found work doing what

he’s always wanted to do:

drawing doodles and little

figures.

COLLECT THEM ALL!