First published in Great Britain 2017
by Egmont UK Limited
The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN

First published in Great Britain 2017
by Egmont UK Limited
The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN

Text and illustrations copyright © 2017 Laura Ellen Anderson
The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted.

Text and illustrations copyright © 2017 Laura Ellen Anderson
The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted.

ISBN 978 1 7803 1842 4

ISBN 978 1 7803 1842 4

www.egmont.co.uk

www.egmont.co.uk

67177/1

67177/1

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

Printed and bound in Great Britain by CPI Group

Printed and bound in Great Britain by CPI Group

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise,
without the prior permission of the publisher and copyright owner.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise,
without the prior permission of the publisher and copyright owner.

Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct
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can be subject to change and websites can contain content
that is unsuitable for children. We advise that all children are
supervised when using the internet.

Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct
at the time of going to print. However, Egmont is not responsible
for content hosted by third parties. Please be aware that online content
can be subject to change and websites can contain content
that is unsuitable for children. We advise that all children are
supervised when using the internet.

For Helen,

For Helen,

Thank you for believing in Amelia and supplying me
with unicorn-shaped inspiration and surprise loose limbs!
Your continued support, encouragement
and enthusiasm won’t be forgotten.

Thank you for believing in Amelia and supplying me
with unicorn-shaped inspiration and surprise loose limbs!
Your continued support, encouragement
and enthusiasm won’t be forgotten.

And a special FANKS (as Florence would say) to all the FANG-GIRLS. You know who you are!

And a special FANKS (as Florence would say) to all the FANG-GIRLS. You know who you are!

x Yeti Hugs x

x Yeti Hugs x

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

MAP OF NOCTURNIA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .viii

MAP OF NOCTURNIA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .viii

MEET THE NOCTURNIANS . . . . . . . . . . . . . .x

MEET THE NOCTURNIANS . . . . . . . . . . . . . .x

1. FLABBERGASTING FALAFELS . . . . . . . . . . .1

1. FLABBERGASTING FALAFELS . . . . . . . . . . . .1

2. FLORENCE AND GRIMALDI . . . . . . . . . . .11

2. FLORENCE AND GRIMALDI . . . . . . . . . . . .11

3. TANGINE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

3. TANGINE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

4. ANGEL-KITTENS OF TERROR . . . . . . . .29

4. ANGEL-KITTENS OF TERROR . . . . . . . . . 29

5. YOU AAAAARE DEAD, YOU ARE DEAD .37

5. YOU AAAAARE DEAD, YOU ARE DEAD . 37

6. THE TOILET ISN’T SHINY ENOUGH . . 45

6. THE TOILET ISN’T SHINY ENOUGH . . . 45

7. DO SOMETHING, DADDY! . . . . . . . . . . . 53

7. DO SOMETHING, DADDY! . . . . . . . . . . . . 53

8. I WANT THAT ONE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65

8. I WANT THAT ONE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65

9. THE GREEN DOOR WITH THE MOULDY
HANDLE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73

9. THE GREEN DOOR WITH THE MOULDY
HANDLE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .73

10. STEALTHY FLORENCE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81

10. STEALTHY FLORENCE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81

11. CREATURES OF THE LIGHT . . . . . . . . . . .91

11. CREATURES OF THE LIGHT . . . . . . . . . . . . .91

12. RIGHT IN THE HAIR . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .103

12. RIGHT IN THE HAIR . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .103

13. INTESTINE! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115

13. INTESTINE! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115

14. KING VLADIMIR’S SECRET . . . . . . . . . . . .121

14. KING VLADIMIR’S SECRET . . . . . . . . . . . .121

15. FRIEND . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .137

15. FRIEND . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .137

17. SIGMUND . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .161

17. SIGMUND . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .161

18. I AM NOT A BEAST! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 171

18. I AM NOT A BEAST! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .171

19. DOOR CHASE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .179

19. DOOR CHASE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .179

20. GLITTEROPOLIS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193

20. GLITTEROPOLIS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193

REPUGNANT RECIPES . . . . . . . . . . . . .209

REPUGNANT RECIPES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .209

16. THE BARBARIC BALL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .149

16. THE BARBARIC BALL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149

Ghoulish Greetings
from our favourite
Nocturnians . . .

Ghoulish Greetings
from our favourite
Nocturnians . . .

LIKES:
Bouncing
Hugs

DISLIKES:
Being picked up by his stalk
Not being with Amelia

LIKES:
Bouncing
Hugs

DISLIKES:
Being picked up by his stalk
Not being with Amelia

LIKES:
Squashy (her loyal pet pumpkin)
Tongue Twister sandwiches

DISLIKES:
Spoilt sprouts
The annual Barbaric Ball

LIKES:
Pit-digging
Worms on toast

DISLIKES:
Being called a BEAST
(she is a RARE BREED
OF YETI)

LIKES:
Pit-digging
Worms on toast

DISLIKES:
Being called a BEAST
(she is a RARE BREED
OF YETI)

LIKES:
His scy the
His diePhone

DISLIKES:
Bossy squished toads
Unicorns

LIKES:
His scy the
His diePhone

DISLIKES:
Bossy squished toads
Unicorns

LIKES:
The annual Barbaric Ball
Eau de Decay perfume

DISLIKES:
Her husband’s Hawaiian
graveyard shirts
Goblin slime

LIKES:
The annual Barbaric Ball
Eau de Decay perfume

DISLIKES:
Her husband’s Hawaiian
graveyard shirts
Goblin slime

LIKES:
Crosswords
His Hawaiian graveyard
shirts

DISLIKES:
Washing up
Listening

LIKES:
Crosswords
His Hawaiian graveyard
shirts

DISLIKES:
Washing up
Listening

LIKES:
Cooking
Letter writing

DISLIKES:
Bad manners
Being walked through

LIKES:
Cooking
Letter writing

DISLIKES:
Bad manners
Being walked through

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 1

FLABBERGASTING FALAFELS

FLABBERGASTING FALAFELS

It was a dark and gloomy Wednesday night in Nocturnia. Countess Frivoleeta Fang sipped at her Scream Tea and tapped the dining-room table with her long black fingernails as the clock struck 4 a.m.

It was a dark and gloomy Wednesday night in Nocturnia. Countess Frivoleeta Fang sipped at her Scream Tea and tapped the dining-room table with her long black fingernails as the clock struck 4 a.m.

‘Drake, my darkness, you do know it’s our annual Barbaric Ball in just three nights?’ cooed Countess Frivoleeta. ‘We still have invitations to send, catering to sort out and – oh, did you book the Howling Wolf Band?’

‘Drake, my darkness, you do know it’s our annual Barbaric Ball in just three nights?’ cooed Countess Frivoleeta. ‘We still have invitations to send, catering to sort out and – oh, did you book the Howling Wolf Band?’

Count Drake’s eyes widened. ‘Erm . . . I’ll phone them tonight, dearest rat brains.’

Count Drake’s eyes widened. ‘Erm . . . I’ll phone them tonight, dearest rat brains.’

‘And Drakey, you’ll need to wear your best suit for the ball. None of those

‘And Drakey, you’ll need to wear your best suit for the ball. None of those

Hawaiian graveyard shirts you like so much. We really must find a way to unstick all that goblin slime from last year’s ball too . . .’

Hawaiian graveyard shirts you like so much. We really must find a way to unstick all that goblin slime from last year’s ball too . . .’

(Goblins were notorious for leaving slime trails – stickier than the stickiest super glue, they were impossible to remove!)

(Goblins were notorious for leaving slime trails – stickier than the stickiest super glue, they were impossible to remove!)

‘Not another Barbaric Ball,’ moaned Amelia Fang, slumping back into her chair. ‘They’re always full of old monsters wearing too many frills and far too much Eau de Decay.’

‘Not another Barbaric Ball,’ moaned Amelia Fang, slumping back into her chair. ‘They’re always full of old monsters wearing too many frills and far too much Eau de Decay.’

Amelia had just turned ten and would much rather be hanging out with her best friends, Florence and Grimaldi.

Amelia had just turned ten and would much rather be hanging out with her best friends, Florence and Grimaldi.

‘Amelia Fang! I won’t have any of that bat-chat from you,’ said the countess sternly. ‘Firstly, Eau de Decay is the finest perfume in all of Nocturnia. It’s made from fermented

‘Amelia Fang! I won’t have any of that bat-chat from you,’ said the countess sternly. ‘Firstly, Eau de Decay is the finest perfume in all of Nocturnia. It’s made from fermented

bat spit with a hint of rotten banana, after all! And secondly, the Barbaric Ball is a family tradition. It’s our chance to show everyone how fang-tastic we are.’

bat spit with a hint of rotten banana, after all! And secondly, the Barbaric Ball is a family tradition. It’s our chance to show everyone how fang-tastic we are.’

Hosted by the Fang family for generations, the Barbaric Ball was THE annual event in Nocturnia. Only the most ghoulish and ghastly were invited, and
the ball was Countess
Frivoleeta’s pride and joy.

Hosted by the Fang family for generations, the Barbaric Ball was THE annual event in Nocturnia. Only the most ghoulish and ghastly were invited, and the ball was Countess
Frivoleeta’s pride and joy.

‘But I get so bored,’ Amelia grumbled. ‘It would be much better if someone my own age were there!’

‘But I get so bored,’ Amelia grumbled. ‘It would be much better if someone my own age were there!’

‘You know the ball is only for grown-ups,’ said the countess.

‘You know the ball is only for grown-ups,’ said the countess.

‘Then surely I don’t

‘Then surely I don’t

have to go?’ said Amelia hopefully.

have to go?’ said Amelia hopefully.

‘Of course you have to go. You must learn the ropes so that you can carry on the Barbaric Ball tradition!’ said her mother, with a gleeful grin.

‘Of course you have to go. You must learn the ropes so that you can carry on the Barbaric Ball tradition!’ said her mother, with a gleeful grin.

‘But what if I don’t want to?’ mumbled Amelia. ‘I want to study Pumpkinology when I grow up, and help poorly pumpkins.’

‘But what if I don’t want to?’ mumbled Amelia. ‘I want to study Pumpkinology when I grow up, and help poorly pumpkins.’

Countess Frivoleeta burst out laughing.

Countess Frivoleeta burst out laughing.

‘Darkling! Don’t be silly. Oh, you’ll make my eye make-up run!’ She checked her face in the mirror behind her, then blew herself a kiss. (You may have heard that vampires don’t have reflections. That is pure glitter, and no one loved theirs more than Countess Frivoleeta.) ‘You’d ruin your delicate vampiress hands with all the digging. Now, sit up straight, ready for dinner,’ she continued. ‘Wooo!’

‘Darkling! Don’t be silly. Oh, you’ll make my eye make-up run!’ She checked her face in the mirror behind her, then blew herself a kiss. (You may have heard that vampires don’t have reflections. That is pure glitter, and no one loved theirs more than Countess Frivoleeta.) ‘You’d ruin your delicate vampiress hands with all the digging. Now, sit up straight, ready for dinner,’ she continued. ‘Wooo!’

Amelia sighed as a ghost floated solemnly into the room, carrying a tray of something that looked like a pile of big bogies.

Amelia sighed as a ghost floated solemnly into the room, carrying a tray of something that looked like a pile of big bogies.

It was useless for Amelia to try to speak to her mother about what she wanted. Being a Fang meant countless vampiress etiquette lessons, cobwebbing practice and never-ending preparations for the Barbaric Ball. Sometimes Amelia wished she belonged to a different family.

It was useless for Amelia to try to speak to her mother about what she wanted. Being a Fang meant countless vampiress etiquette lessons, cobwebbing practice and never-ending preparations for the Barbaric Ball. Sometimes Amelia wished she belonged to a different family.

‘Your Flabbergasting Falafels, Countess,’ said Wooo. He was the most respected ghost butler in all of Nocturnia.

‘Your Flabbergasting Falafels, Countess,’ said Wooo. He was the most respected ghost butler in all of Nocturnia.

(Contrary to popular belief, vampires don’t actually live on a diet of blood. It gives them very stinky breath!)

(Contrary to popular belief, vampires don’t actually live on a diet of blood. It gives them very stinky breath!)

‘Thank you, Wooo. That will be all,’ said the countess.

‘Thank you, Wooo. That will be all,’ said the countess.

Amelia flapped her wings grumpily and

Amelia flapped her wings grumpily and

flicked a piece of falafel on to the floor. Her pet pumpkin, Squashy, gobbled it up then bounced on to Amelia’s lap.

flicked a piece of falafel on to the floor. Her pet pumpkin, Squashy, gobbled it up then bounced on to Amelia’s lap.

‘Hey, Squashy!’ Amelia giggled. ‘Have some more falafel! I know it’s your favourite.’

‘Hey, Squashy!’ Amelia giggled. ‘Have some more falafel! I know it’s your favourite.’

Squashy waggled his stalk from side to side in agreement.

Squashy waggled his stalk from side to side in agreement.

‘Maybe the king will come to the ball this year?’ said Amelia through a mouthful of sour spinach.

‘Maybe the king will come to the ball this year?’ said Amelia through a mouthful of sour spinach.

‘Not likely,’ said Countess Frivoleeta. ‘He hasn’t stepped outside the palace since the fairy incident.’ She looked at her husband. ‘Drakey, my awful little germinoid, you should really make more of an effort to see King Vladimir. You two used to be such good friends.’

‘Not likely,’ said Countess Frivoleeta. ‘He hasn’t stepped outside the palace since the fairy incident.’ She looked at her husband. ‘Drakey, my awful little germinoid, you should really make more of an effort to see King Vladimir. You two used to be such good friends.’

Count Drake gave a long sigh. ‘Dearest belch-breath, it’s no use. He won’t see or

Count Drake gave a long sigh. ‘Dearest belch-breath, it’s no use. He won’t see or

speak to anyone any more.’

speak to anyone any more.’

‘Such a shame,’ said Countess Frivoleeta. ‘Ever since he cancelled your weekly Eyebowls game, you’ve been completely obsessed with those silly word-crosses . . .’

‘Such a shame,’ said Countess Frivoleeta. ‘Ever since he cancelled your weekly Eyebowls game, you’ve been completely obsessed with those silly word-crosses . . .’

‘Crosswords, dear,’ said Count Drake.

‘Crosswords, dear,’ said Count Drake.

‘If the king DID accept our invitation to the ball, do you think he would bring his son?’ asked Amelia. Her eyes lit up for a moment. ‘Or is Prince Tangine not allowed to come either, because he’s not OLD?’

‘If the king DID accept our invitation to the ball, do you think he would bring his son?’ asked Amelia. Her eyes lit up for a moment. ‘Or is Prince Tangine not allowed to come either, because he’s not OLD?’

‘Prince Tangine is the future king, for serpent’s sake! He is ALWAYS invited,’ sang the countess.

‘Prince Tangine is the future king, for serpent’s sake! He is ALWAYS invited,’ sang the countess.

‘But remember, Amelia,’ Count Drake remarked, ‘the prince’s mother DID get eaten by a fairy. I’d be surprised if the king ever lets him outside the palace walls.’

‘But remember, Amelia,’ Count Drake remarked, ‘the prince’s mother DID get eaten by a fairy. I’d be surprised if the king ever lets him outside the palace walls.’

‘Grieving gobblepots, I’d go mad if I couldn’t go and see my friends,’ said Amelia.

‘Grieving gobblepots, I’d go mad if I couldn’t go and see my friends,’ said Amelia.

‘Enough chitter-chatter. Now, Amelia, eat up before your falafels get cold, then off to bed,’ said Countess Frivoleeta, prodding at Amelia’s cheeks. ‘We must keep your skin looking pale and death-like!’

‘Enough chitter-chatter. Now, Amelia, eat up before your falafels get cold, then off to bed,’ said Countess Frivoleeta, prodding at Amelia’s cheeks. ‘We must keep your skin looking pale and death-like!’

‘But Muuum, it’s the final of The Great Gothic Gravestone Carve Off tonight! Can’t I stay up for just a bit longer?’ said Amelia.

‘But Muuum, it’s the final of The Great Gothic Gravestone Carve Off tonight! Can’t I stay up for just a bit longer?’ said Amelia.

Suddenly a huge
BOOOOOOOOOONG!
echoed through the house.

Suddenly a huge
BOOOOOOOOOONG!
echoed through the house.

‘Drake, my little sweat gland, are we expecting visitors?’ said Countess Frivoleeta. ‘Wooo!’ she called, without waiting for her husband’s reply. ‘Please answer that immediately.’

‘Drake, my little sweat gland, are we expecting visitors?’ said Countess Frivoleeta. ‘Wooo!’ she called, without waiting for her husband’s reply. ‘Please answer that immediately.’

Moments later, Wooo appeared holding a gold envelope.

Moments later, Wooo appeared holding a gold envelope.

‘You have a letter, Countess. It appears to be from the king.’

‘You have a letter, Countess. It appears to be from the king.’

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 2

FLORENCE
AND GRIMALDI

FLORENCE
AND GRIMALDI

‘THE KING’S COMING TO THE BALL?’ yelled Florence, Amelia’s best friend. This was normal speaking volume for Florence, who was six-feet tall, huge and hairy from head to toe. Everything about her was BIG. Even her voice was big. But so was her heart. Which was also very hairy.

‘THE KING’S COMING TO THE BALL?’ yelled Florence, Amelia’s best friend. This was normal speaking volume for Florence, who was six-feet tall, huge and hairy from head to toe. Everything about her was BIG. Even her voice was big. But so was her heart. Which was also very hairy.

Amelia, Squashy and Florence Spudwick were sitting under the Petrified-Tree-That-Looked-Like-a-Unicorn, where they met every night before school.

Amelia, Squashy and Florence Spudwick were sitting under the Petrified-Tree-That-Looked-Like-a-Unicorn, where they met every night before school.

‘THAT’S WELL EXCITING!’ bellowed Florence, gobbling down a bowl of Unlucky Arms cereal.

‘THAT’S WELL EXCITING!’ bellowed Florence, gobbling down a bowl of Unlucky Arms cereal.

‘And he’s bringing the prince!’ Amelia said excitedly. ‘I’ll finally have someone my OWN age to hang out with at the ball! Although I still wish you and Grimaldi could come.’

‘And he’s bringing the prince!’ Amelia said excitedly. ‘I’ll finally have someone my OWN age to hang out with at the ball! Although I still wish you and Grimaldi could come.’

‘S’ALL RIGHT,’ said Florence, putting a hairy arm around Amelia’s shoulders. ‘I’D SHOW EVERYONE UP WIV MY STUNNING LOOKS!’ She grinned, revealing a mouthful of spiky teeth pointing in every direction.

‘S’ALL RIGHT,’ said Florence, putting a hairy arm around Amelia’s shoulders. ‘I’D SHOW EVERYONE UP WIV MY STUNNING LOOKS!’ She grinned, revealing a mouthful of spiky teeth pointing in every direction.

The two friends burst out laughing.

The two friends burst out laughing.

Squashy bounced up and down, blowing raspberries with his tongue, before nuzzling into Amelia’s tummy for a belly rub.

Squashy bounced up and down, blowing raspberries with his tongue, before nuzzling into Amelia’s tummy for a belly rub.

‘Hi, guuuuys!’ came a high voice from across the graveyard. It was Grimaldi Reaperton, Amelia’s other best friend.

‘Hi, guuuuys!’ came a high voice from across the graveyard. It was Grimaldi Reaperton, Amelia’s other best friend.

Grimaldi was small and cute, and Death

Grimaldi was small and cute, and Death

was his middle
name. No, really, it
was. He dealt with
the deaths of small
creatures, like squished
toads, but when he was
older he would take over
from his grimpapa and
deal with bigger, messier
beings.

was his middle
name. No, really, it
was. He dealt with
the deaths of small
creatures, like squished
toads, but when he was
older he would take over
from his grimpapa and
deal with bigger, messier beings.

‘Grimaldi!’ said Amelia excitedly. ‘I have BIG news!’

‘Grimaldi!’ said Amelia excitedly. ‘I have BIG news!’

‘Is it about The Great Gothic Gravestone Carve Off?’ said Grimaldi. ‘Because I really thought that William W—’

‘Is it about The Great Gothic Gravestone Carve Off?’ said Grimaldi. ‘Because I really thought that William W—’

‘Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don’t tell me. I haven’t seen the final episode yet . . .’ said Amelia, covering her ears.

‘Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don’t tell me. I haven’t seen the final episode yet . . .’ said Amelia, covering her ears.

‘So what’s the news?’ said Grimaldi.

‘So what’s the news?’ said Grimaldi.

‘THE KING’S COMING TO THE BALL . . .’ Florence blurted out.

‘THE KING’S COMING TO THE BALL . . .’ Florence blurted out.

‘Wow! Nobody’s seen him in years,’ said Grimaldi. ‘I was worried he’d died . . . Grimpapa keeps checking his diePhone in case he missed him. Happens sometimes.’

‘Wow! Nobody’s seen him in years,’ said Grimaldi. ‘I was worried he’d died . . . Grimpapa keeps checking his diePhone in case he missed him. Happens sometimes.’

Suddenly, the Catacomb Academy welcome bones rattled, announcing the beginning of school.

Suddenly, the Catacomb Academy welcome bones rattled, announcing the beginning of school.

‘But that’s not all,’ said Amelia quickly. ‘Prince Tangine is coming too!’

‘But that’s not all,’ said Amelia quickly. ‘Prince Tangine is coming too!’

‘Maybe you’ll actually have FUN this year!’ Grimaldi smiled.

‘Maybe you’ll actually have FUN this year!’ Grimaldi smiled.

‘I hope so,’ said Amelia. ‘Do you think Prince Tangine likes playing Goblin Tag?’

‘I hope so,’ said Amelia. ‘Do you think Prince Tangine likes playing Goblin Tag?’

‘Amelia!’ shouted the head teacher, Miss Inspine. ‘Florence, Grimaldi! Hurry up! You’re going to be late for Abominable Assembly!’

‘Amelia!’ shouted the head teacher, Miss Inspine. ‘Florence, Grimaldi! Hurry up! You’re going to be late for Abominable Assembly!’

Amelia and her friends wound their way down to the Catacomb Academy crypt.

Amelia and her friends wound their way down to the Catacomb Academy crypt.

‘Whose lap do you want to sit on today, Squashy?’ Amelia asked.

‘Whose lap do you want to sit on today, Squashy?’ Amelia asked.

Squashy immediately pa-doinged into Amelia’s arms and started licking her
face.

Squashy immediately pa-doinged into Amelia’s arms and started licking her face.

‘I think that’s settled!’ she said, laughing.

‘I think that’s settled!’ she said, laughing.

In the crypt, the music

In the crypt, the music

teacher, Mr Blob, was playing the  ‘Death March’ on the organ. Then he exploded, marking the beginning of assembly. An eyeball landed in the hood of Grimaldi’s cloak.

teacher, Mr Blob, was playing the  ‘Death March’ on the organ. Then he exploded, marking the beginning of assembly. An eyeball landed in the hood of Grimaldi’s cloak.

‘EVERY time!’ Grimaldi grimaced.

‘EVERY time!’ Grimaldi grimaced.

‘OK, class, take your plinths please,’ said Miss Inspine. ‘Firstly, I’d like to make a very special announcement. As

‘OK, class, take your plinths please,’ said Miss Inspine. ‘Firstly, I’d like to make a very special announcement. As

you all know, the Barbaric Ball is taking place in a couple of nights. And I’m happy to announce that King Vladimir will be attending with his son, Prince Tangine, after all these years!’

you all know, the Barbaric Ball is taking place in a couple of nights. And I’m happy to announce that King Vladimir will be attending with his son, Prince Tangine, after all these years!’

The students muttered excitedly.

The students muttered excitedly.

‘I have ALSO been informed that, as of tonight, Prince Tangine will be joining Catacomb Academy as part of his king training, to get to know the young creatures of Nocturnia!’

‘I have ALSO been informed that, as of tonight, Prince Tangine will be joining Catacomb Academy as part of his king training, to get to know the young creatures of Nocturnia!’

The whole crypt exploded in squeals and burps of delight.

The whole crypt exploded in squeals and burps of delight.

‘Oh, wasn’t it just AWFUL that his mother was EATEN by a fairy?’ cried Frankie, who had stitches over her face and bolts in her neck.

‘Oh, wasn’t it just AWFUL that his mother was EATEN by a fairy?’ cried Frankie, who had stitches over her face and bolts in her neck.

‘There will be NO mention of the fairy incident,’ hissed Miss Inspine. ‘The prince

‘There will be NO mention of the fairy incident,’ hissed Miss Inspine. ‘The prince

is probably anxious enough,
leaving the palace for the first time in years.’

is probably anxious enough, leaving the palace for the first time in years.’

‘So brave!’ said Frankie,
fanning herself with her
detatched ear.

‘So brave!’ said Frankie, fanning herself with her detatched ear.

‘The king has requested,’ the
head teacher continued, ‘that
Amelia Fang show Prince
Tangine around the school
and look after him while he
settles in.’

‘The king has requested,’ the
head teacher continued, ‘that
Amelia Fang show Prince
Tangine around the school
and look after him while he
settles in.’

‘That’s only because he used to be best buddies with  Amelia’s dad!’ Frankie spat.

‘That’s only because he used to be best buddies with  Amelia’s dad!’ Frankie spat.

Amelia muffled a groan.

Amelia muffled a groan.

Frankie was the most annoying
ghoul in the whole of Catacomb Academy.

Frankie was the most annoying ghoul in the whole of Catacomb Academy.

‘Enough, Frankie!’ said Miss Inspine, losing patience. ‘The prince is due to arrive any minute, and I want you ALL to be

‘Enough, Frankie!’ said Miss Inspine, losing patience. ‘The prince is due to arrive any minute, and I want you ALL to be

on your BEST behaviour.’

on your BEST behaviour.’

‘Imagine.’ Grimaldi grinned. ‘The three of us hanging out with the future king! We’ll be the coolest kids in school.’

‘Imagine.’ Grimaldi grinned. ‘The three of us hanging out with the future king! We’ll be the coolest kids in school.’

‘HEY,’ said Florence. ‘WE ALREADY ARE.’

‘HEY,’ said Florence. ‘WE ALREADY ARE.’

I wonder what Tangine is like, thought Amelia, before a loud noise caught her attention.

I wonder what Tangine is like, thought Amelia, before a loud noise caught her attention.

‘You stupid bird! Why can’t you ever land properly?’ came a high-pitched voice.

‘You stupid bird! Why can’t you ever land properly?’ came a high-pitched voice.

‘Oh! Wait here, everyone . . .’ said Miss Inspine, scampering out of the crypt.

‘Oh! Wait here, everyone . . .’ said Miss Inspine, scampering out of the crypt.

Seconds later she returned looking flustered.

Seconds later she returned looking flustered.

‘Students! It gives me great pleasure to welcome our special new student to Catacomb Academy . . . Prince Tangine the First!’

‘Students! It gives me great pleasure to welcome our special new student to Catacomb Academy . . . Prince Tangine the First!’

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3

TANGINE

TANGINE

A long shadow appeared,

stretching across the length

of the crypt. Amelia watched as the

shadow became smaller, and smaller . . .

And smaller . . .

A long shadow appeared,
stretching across the length
of the crypt. Amelia watched as the
shadow became smaller, and smaller . . .
And smaller . . .

Until Prince Tangine stepped into view.

Until Prince Tangine stepped into view.

‘’OW WEENY IS ’E?’ Florence whispered loudly.

‘’OW WEENY IS ’E?’ Florence whispered loudly.

Miss Inspine shot her a sharp look.

Miss Inspine shot her a sharp look.

The prince was tiny. Titchy even. Which was very unusual for a vampire.

The prince was tiny. Titchy even. Which was very unusual for a vampire.

Frankie began applauding frantically. ‘Tangine rules! Tangine, you’re amazing!’ she yelled across the room.

Frankie began applauding frantically. ‘Tangine rules! Tangine, you’re amazing!’ she yelled across the room.

‘JOSEPHINE!’ Tangine bellowed, clapping his tiny hands twice.

‘JOSEPHINE!’ Tangine bellowed, clapping his tiny hands twice.

A grubby Mummy Maid ran in and crouched down at Tangine’s feet so he could use her as a platform.

A grubby Mummy Maid ran in and crouched down at Tangine’s feet so he could use her as a platform.

‘Yes, it is I, your future king!’ said Prince Tangine, revealing his pearly white fangs. ‘I suppose I look forward to learning stuff at your inferior little school.’

‘Yes, it is I, your future king!’ said Prince Tangine, revealing his pearly white fangs. ‘I suppose I look forward to learning stuff at your inferior little school.’

Amelia was a bit surprised by Prince

Amelia was a bit surprised by Prince

Tangine’s tone. He must be nervous, she thought.

Tangine’s tone. He must be nervous, she thought.

‘Anyway,’ continued Tangine, yawning. ‘I’m bored. I demand brunch . . .’ He clapped his hands again and shouted, ‘FRESCO!’

‘Anyway,’ continued Tangine, yawning. ‘I’m bored. I demand brunch . . .’ He clapped his hands again and shouted, ‘FRESCO!’

Maybe the nerves make him hungry, thought Amelia.

Maybe the nerves make him hungry, thought Amelia.

Another Mummy Maid rushed into the crypt, holding a tray of Slug-ends.

Another Mummy Maid rushed into the crypt, holding a tray of Slug-ends.

‘Ooh, isn’t he delightful?’ oozed Frankie as the Mummy Maid crawled back out of the crypt, still carrying Tangine.

‘Ooh, isn’t he delightful?’ oozed Frankie as the Mummy Maid crawled back out of the crypt, still carrying Tangine.

‘Well.’ Amelia looked at Florence and Grimaldi. ‘Tangine seems . . . nice?’

‘Well.’ Amelia looked at Florence and Grimaldi. ‘Tangine seems . . . nice?’

After Abominable Assembly, Amelia waited outside Miss Inspine’s room for Prince Tangine. He was already ten minutes late for class. Maybe he’s lost? she thought.

After Abominable Assembly, Amelia waited outside Miss Inspine’s room for Prince Tangine. He was already ten minutes late for class. Maybe he’s lost? she thought.

Squashy sniffed around inside Amelia’s backpack, looking for something to chew.

Squashy sniffed around inside Amelia’s backpack, looking for something to chew.

‘No, no, Squashy, that’s my homework!’ Amelia giggled. ‘I knew you’d get hungry, so I took some of Dad’s breakfast for you . . .’

‘No, no, Squashy, that’s my homework!’ Amelia giggled. ‘I knew you’d get hungry, so I took some of Dad’s breakfast for you . . .’

Amelia pulled out a fistful of Honey-roasted Maggots, and Squashy gently nibbled them from her hand.

Amelia pulled out a fistful of Honey-roasted Maggots, and Squashy gently nibbled them from her hand.

She was still feeding him and rubbing his pumpkin tummy when a voice echoed down the corridor.

She was still feeding him and rubbing his pumpkin tummy when a voice echoed down the corridor.

‘Aren’t you going to show me to the classroom then?’

‘Aren’t you going to show me to the classroom then?’

‘Oh!’ said Amelia, clambering to her feet. Tangine was standing proudly on a Mummy Maid at the end of the corridor. ‘Hello, Prince Tangine!’ She smiled.

‘Oh!’ said Amelia, clambering to her feet. Tangine was standing proudly on a Mummy Maid at the end of the corridor. ‘Hello, Prince Tangine!’ She smiled.

‘INGRID. Crawl!’ the prince demanded.

‘INGRID. Crawl!’ the prince demanded.

‘It’s so good to properly meet you,’ said Amelia. ‘Our fathers used to play Eyebowls

‘It’s so good to properly meet you,’ said Amelia. ‘Our fathers used to play Eyebowls

together every week, y’know. Maybe we could ask them to teach us?’

together every week, y’know. Maybe we could ask them to teach us?’

Tangine didn’t answer.

Tangine didn’t answer.

‘And it’s really cool that you’re coming to the Barbaric Ball!’ she went on. ‘I usually hate going on my own. My mum makes me dance with all the posh old toads!’

‘And it’s really cool that you’re coming to the Barbaric Ball!’ she went on. ‘I usually hate going on my own. My mum makes me dance with all the posh old toads!’

Silence.

Silence.

‘At least I’ll have someone to hang out with this year . . .’

‘At least I’ll have someone to hang out with this year . . .’

‘What’s that?’ Tangine said suddenly, pointing at Squashy.

‘What’s that?’ Tangine said suddenly, pointing at Squashy.

‘Oh, this is Squashy, my pet pumpkin,’ said Amelia.

‘Oh, this is Squashy, my pet pumpkin,’ said Amelia.

Squashy smiled and squeaked three times.

Squashy smiled and squeaked three times.

‘Pets are silly,’ said Tangine, rolling his eyes.

‘Pets are silly,’ said Tangine, rolling his eyes.

Amelia’s cheeks burned. ‘Um,’ she said uncomfortably. ‘Well, shall we go to class then?’

Amelia’s cheeks burned. ‘Um,’ she said uncomfortably. ‘Well, shall we go to class then?’

‘Don’t they teach you manners in this school?’ said Tangine. ‘I am royalty, you must open the door for me!’

‘Don’t they teach you manners in this school?’ said Tangine. ‘I am royalty, you must open the door for me!’

Amelia felt herself blush again, but at that moment the door suddenly burst open.

Amelia felt herself blush again, but at that moment the door suddenly burst open.

‘Oh, thank the grave,’ breathed Miss Inspine. ‘I thought you’d lost the prince, Amelia. Chop chop, you’ve made him late for class!’

‘Oh, thank the grave,’ breathed Miss Inspine. ‘I thought you’d lost the prince, Amelia. Chop chop, you’ve made him late for class!’

‘But, Miss, I—’ Amelia began.

‘But, Miss, I—’ Amelia began.

‘Not now, Amelia,’ said the head teacher. ‘Hurry up. There’s a special seat for Tangine next to you.’

‘Not now, Amelia,’ said the head teacher. ‘Hurry up. There’s a special seat for Tangine next to you.’

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 4

ANGEL-KITTENS OF TERROR

ANGEL-KITTENS OF TERROR

Amelia and Tangine took their seats while Squashy nestled under the desk.

Amelia and Tangine took their seats while Squashy nestled under the desk.

‘Did everyone complete their Creature and Critter Studies homework?’ said Miss Inspine. ‘Your Full Moon test is coming up and this year’s subject is “Creatures of the Light”. Can anyone tell me what they’ve learnt so far?’

‘Did everyone complete their Creature and Critter Studies homework?’ said Miss Inspine. ‘Your Full Moon test is coming up and this year’s subject is “Creatures of the Light”. Can anyone tell me what they’ve learnt so far?’

‘Oooh, me, me, me, pick me!’ Frankie shot her hand up in the air.

‘Oooh, me, me, me, pick me!’ Frankie shot her hand up in the air.

‘Very well.’ Miss Inspine sighed.

‘Very well.’ Miss Inspine sighed.

Frankie stood up and cleared her throat. ‘Well, we all know that the Creatures of the

Frankie stood up and cleared her throat. ‘Well, we all know that the Creatures of the

Light are terrifying, mean creatures who do awful things . . .’

Light are terrifying, mean creatures who do awful things . . .’

‘This is a stupid subject,’ muttered Tangine.

‘This is a stupid subject,’ muttered Tangine.

‘I read a book called The Wrath of the Angel-Kitten,’ continued Frankie, ‘and they act all cute, nuzzle your neck and then . . . scratch your eyeballs out and eat them WHOLE!’

‘I read a book called The Wrath of the Angel-Kitten,’ continued Frankie, ‘and they act all cute, nuzzle your neck and then . . . scratch your eyeballs out and eat them WHOLE!’

The class gasped. Tangine was looking down, twiddling his thumbs.

The class gasped. Tangine was looking down, twiddling his thumbs.

‘Thank you for that dramatic account, Frankie,’ said Miss Inspine with another deep sigh.

‘Thank you for that dramatic account, Frankie,’ said Miss Inspine with another deep sigh.

‘And we all know that fairies are capable of MUCH worse.’ Frankie glanced over at Tangine. ‘I’m soooo sorry about your mother—’

‘And we all know that fairies are capable of MUCH worse.’ Frankie glanced over at Tangine. ‘I’m soooo sorry about your mother—’ ’

‘THAT is quite enough, Frankie!’ interrupted Miss Inspine. ‘I told you not to

‘THAT is quite enough, Frankie!’ interrupted Miss Inspine. ‘I told you not to

mention the fairy incident!’ she hissed.

mention the fairy incident!’ she hissed.

‘Can’t we learn about something else?’ said Tangine sharply, straightening up in his chair.

‘Can’t we learn about something else?’ said Tangine sharply, straightening up in his chair.

It must be hard for him after what happened to his mother, thought Amelia.

It must be hard for him after what happened to his mother, thought Amelia.

Amelia and her friends loved reading stories about the Creatures of the Light: the gruesome glittery unicorns (Nocturnians were TERRIFIED of glitter), the evil sparkly fairies and the cute and fluffy angel-kittens of terror. It was the stuff of daymares. Everyone knew that while Nocturnians were sleeping and the sun was out, terrifying creatures from the nearby Kingdom of the Light lurked around the Petrified Forest. Nocturnians didn’t dare step outside again until nightfall, if they could help it.

Amelia and her friends loved reading stories about the Creatures of the Light: the gruesome glittery unicorns (Nocturnians were TERRIFIED of glitter), the evil sparkly fairies and the cute and fluffy angel-kittens of terror. It was the stuff of daymares. Everyone knew that while Nocturnians were sleeping and the sun was out, terrifying creatures from the nearby Kingdom of the Light lurked around the Petrified Forest. Nocturnians didn’t dare step outside again until nightfall, if they could help it.

‘Florence,’ trilled Miss Inspine, ‘did you do any research on the subject?’

‘Florence,’ trilled Miss Inspine, ‘did you do any research on the subject?’

‘MATTER OF FACT I DID . . .’ said Florence, standing up. ‘MY MUM READ ME A BOOK CALLED FEARFUL FACTS ABOUT FIENDISH FAIRIES. THEY USE THAT SPARKLY STUFF CALLED GLITTER AND SPRINKLE IT ALL OVER YOU, MAKING YOU FALL INTO A DEEP SLEEP. THEN . . .’ She paused. ‘WHILE YOU’RE SLEEPING SOUNDLY, THEY USE THEIR LITTLE WANDS TO . . .’ She leant forward, staring at Frankie intensely. ‘STEAL YOUR FANGS!’

‘MATTER OF FACT I DID . . .’ said Florence, standing up. ‘MY MUM READ ME A BOOK CALLED FEARFUL FACTS ABOUT FIENDISH FAIRIES. THEY USE THAT SPARKLY STUFF CALLED GLITTER AND SPRINKLE IT ALL OVER YOU, MAKING YOU FALL INTO A DEEP SLEEP. THEN . . .’ She paused. ‘WHILE YOU’RE SLEEPING SOUNDLY, THEY USE THEIR LITTLE WANDS TO . . .’ She leant forward, staring at Frankie intensely. ‘STEAL YOUR FANGS!’

Grimaldi yelped and pulled his hood over his face. Amelia put her hand over her mouth.

Grimaldi yelped and pulled his hood over his face. Amelia put her hand over her mouth.

‘Oh, don’t be so over the top, Beast!’ said Tangine.

‘Oh, don’t be so over the top, Beast!’ said Tangine.

Amelia, Florence and Grimaldi stared at the prince in shock.

Amelia, Florence and Grimaldi stared at the prince in shock.

‘WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?’ said Florence, rising up to her full height.

‘WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?’ said Florence, rising up to her full height.

‘Well, that’s what you are, isn’t it? A

‘Well, that’s what you are, isn’t it? A

brutal beast who doesn’t shut up?’ said Tangine, avoiding eye contact.

brutal beast who doesn’t shut up?’ said Tangine, avoiding eye contact.

‘Hey! That’s a really mean thing to say,’ said Amelia. She couldn’t believe he’d called Florence a beast. There was no excuse for that, even if he was feeling nervous.

‘Hey! That’s a really mean thing to say,’ said Amelia. She couldn’t believe he’d called Florence a beast. There was no excuse for that, even if he was feeling nervous.

Florence loomed over Tangine. ‘I AM NOT A BEAST . . .’ she boomed. ‘I’M A RARE BREED OF YETI!’

Florence loomed over Tangine. ‘I AM NOT A BEAST . . .’ she boomed. ‘I’M A RARE BREED OF YETI!’

‘Florence Spudwick!’ shouted Miss Inspine, causing her ribs to rattle. ‘Leave the prince alone and sit down this instant!’

‘Florence Spudwick!’ shouted Miss Inspine, causing her ribs to rattle. ‘Leave the prince alone and sit down this instant!’

‘BUT MISS, ’E CALLED ME A—’

‘BUT MISS, ’E CALLED ME A—’

‘Now!’ said Miss Inspine. ‘Right. Please open your books to page thirty-two, the questionnaire on angel-kitten history. You have fifteen minutes.’ And with that she took off her head and put it in the cupboard for some peace and quiet.

‘Now!’ said Miss Inspine. ‘Right. Please open your books to page thirty-two, the questionnaire on angel-kitten history. You have fifteen minutes.’ And with that she took off her head and put it in the cupboard for some peace and quiet.

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 5

YOU AAAAAARE DEAD, YOU ARE DEAD

YOU AAAAAARE DEAD, YOU ARE DEAD

At the end of the school night, Amelia walked Tangine to the academy entrance in silence. Florence and Grimaldi followed, keeping their distance.

At the end of the school night, Amelia walked Tangine to the academy entrance in silence. Florence and Grimaldi followed, keeping their distance.

Amelia still couldn’t believe Tangine had been so horrid to Florence. The prince wasn’t how she’d imagined he’d be at all. But maybe he would be better tomorrow. ‘Um . . . is your dad collecting you from school?’ Amelia finally said.

Amelia still couldn’t believe Tangine had been so horrid to Florence. The prince wasn’t how she’d imagined he’d be at all. But maybe he would be better tomorrow. ‘Um . . . is your dad collecting you from school?’ Amelia finally said.

‘No. John will be taking me home,’ said

‘No. John will be taking me home,’ said

Tangine, pointing to a huge vulture whose three eyes all looked in different directions.

Tangine, pointing to a huge vulture whose three eyes all looked in different directions.

‘Oh. Well, it was, um, nice to meet you,’ said Amelia looking at her feet. ‘See you tomorrow, I guess.’

‘Oh. Well, it was, um, nice to meet you,’ said Amelia looking at her feet. ‘See you tomorrow, I guess.’

‘You’ll be seeing me tonight, actually,’ Tangine sneered. ‘Your mother practically begged Father and me to come to your house for a “pre-Barbaric Ball dinner”.’

‘You’ll be seeing me tonight, actually,’ Tangine sneered. ‘Your mother practically begged Father and me to come to your house for a “pre-Barbaric Ball dinner”.’

Amelia wasn’t sure what to say. ‘Oh . . . great!’ she spluttered.

Amelia wasn’t sure what to say. ‘Oh . . . great!’ she spluttered.

Once Tangine was out of sight, Amelia, Florence and Grimaldi each let out a big sigh of relief.

Once Tangine was out of sight, Amelia, Florence and Grimaldi each let out a big sigh of relief.

‘WELL, ’E’S ’ORRIBLE,’ said Florence. ‘AND NOT IN THE NICE WAY.’

‘WELL, ’E’S ’ORRIBLE,’ said Florence. ‘AND NOT IN THE NICE WAY.’

‘I’m sorry he called you names, Florence,’ said Amelia. ‘At first I thought he was nervous, starting a new school and all, but that’s no excuse for being so mean . . .’

‘I’m sorry he called you names, Florence,’ said Amelia. ‘At first I thought he was nervous, starting a new school and all, but that’s no excuse for being so mean . . .’

Suddenly Grimaldi’s phone rang out:

Suddenly Grimaldi’s phone rang out:

YOU AAAAAARE DEAD, YOU ARE DEAD, FROM YOUR TOES TO THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD . . .

YOU AAAAAARE DEAD, YOU ARE DEAD, FROM YOUR TOES TO THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD . . .

‘WHO DIED?’ asked Florence.

‘WHO DIED?’ asked Florence.

‘Hmmm. It’s your mum,’ said Grimaldi, looking at Amelia.

‘Hmmm. It’s your mum,’ said Grimaldi, looking at Amelia.

‘WHAT?’ Florence gasped.

‘WHAT?’ Florence gasped.

‘No, no, no. Amelia’s mum is calling . . .’ Grimaldi answered the phone. ‘Um, hello, Mrs Fang. Sorry, I mean, Mrs Fountess Cang. Wait, I mean, Countess Fang . . .’

‘No, no, no. Amelia’s mum is calling . . .’ Grimaldi answered the phone. ‘Um, hello, Mrs Fang. Sorry, I mean, Mrs Fountess Cang. Wait, I mean, Countess Fang . . .’

Amelia took the phone from Grimaldi, who was now blushing and biting his nails. ‘Hey, Mum,’ she said.

Amelia took the phone from Grimaldi, who was now blushing and biting his nails. ‘Hey, Mum,’ she said.

‘Amelia, you must come home this instant,’ said Countess Frivoleeta, sounding out of breath. ‘King Vladimir and Prince Tangine are coming for dinner!’

‘Amelia, you must come home this instant,’ said Countess Frivoleeta, sounding out of breath. ‘King Vladimir and Prince Tangine are coming for dinner!’

‘I heard,’ said Amelia. ‘But can’t I stay out

‘I heard,’ said Amelia. ‘But can’t I stay out

with Florence and Grimaldi for a little while? I won’t be late for dinner, I promise.’

with Florence and Grimaldi for a little while? I won’t be late for dinner, I promise.’

‘We need to make the house look PERFECT. You must come home now, Amelia!’ the countess insisted, and then hung up the phone.

‘We need to make the house look PERFECT. You must come home now, Amelia!’ the countess insisted, and then hung up the phone.

YOU AAAAAARE DEAD, YOU ARE DEAD, FROM YOUR TOES TO THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD . . . chimed the diePhone again.

YOU AAAAAARE DEAD, YOU ARE DEAD, FROM YOUR TOES TO THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD . . . chimed the diePhone again.

‘What could my mother possibly want now?’ said Amelia.

‘What could my mother possibly want now?’ said Amelia.

‘It’s a real death this time . . . Two squished toads.’ Grimaldi sighed. ‘Sorry, guys, gotta go.’

‘It’s a real death this time . . . Two squished toads.’ Grimaldi sighed. ‘Sorry, guys, gotta go.’

‘LOOKS LIKE WE WON’T BE ’ANGING OUT TONIGHT THEN,’ said Florence.

‘LOOKS LIKE WE WON’T BE ’ANGING OUT TONIGHT THEN,’ said Florence.

‘I’m afraid not,’ said Amelia, stroking Squashy. ‘Sorry.’

‘I’m afraid not,’ said Amelia, stroking Squashy. ‘Sorry.’

‘OK,’ said Florence. She turned to Grimaldi. ‘LEMME KNOW IF ANY OF

‘OK,’ said Florence. She turned to Grimaldi. ‘LEMME KNOW IF ANY OF

THOSE SQUISHED TOADS DON’T WANT THEIR KIDNEYS ’CAUSE I CAN USE ’EM FOR MY ART PROJECT.’

THOSE SQUISHED TOADS DON’T WANT THEIR KIDNEYS ’CAUSE I CAN USE ’EM FOR MY ART PROJECT.’

‘Sure thing,’ Grimaldi said, chuckling as he disappeared into the mist.

‘Sure thing,’ Grimaldi said, chuckling as he disappeared into the mist.

Amelia and Florence wandered through Central Nocturnia Graveyard, while Squashy bounced his way across the gravestones.

Amelia and Florence wandered through Central Nocturnia Graveyard, while Squashy bounced his way across the gravestones.

‘I wonder what the king looks like now,’ said Amelia. ‘I’ve seen pictures in books, and my mum’s always saying how he’s more handsome than my dad . . .’

‘I wonder what the king looks like now,’ said Amelia. ‘I’ve seen pictures in books, and my mum’s always saying how he’s more handsome than my dad . . .’

‘DUNNO,’ said Florence. ‘IMAGINE IF ’E ’AD A BIG PIMPLE ON ’IS NOSE . . .’

‘DUNNO,’ said Florence. ‘IMAGINE IF ’E ’AD A BIG PIMPLE ON ’IS NOSE . . .’

Amelia giggled. ‘What do you mean?’

Amelia giggled. ‘What do you mean?’

‘WELL, PEOPLE FINK ROYALTY ARE ALL PERFECT. BUT I BET THEY GET PIMPLES ON THEIR NOSES TOO. AND THEIR BUMS.’

‘WELL, PEOPLE FINK ROYALTY ARE ALL PERFECT. BUT I BET THEY GET PIMPLES ON THEIR NOSES TOO. AND THEIR BUMS.’

Amelia laughed so hard she snorted.

Amelia laughed so hard she snorted.

‘MY GRANNY DORIS ’AD ONE ON ’ER BUMCHEEK FOR SEVENTY YEARS,’ said Florence thoughtfully.

‘MY GRANNY DORIS ’AD ONE ON ’ER BUMCHEEK FOR SEVENTY YEARS,’ said Florence thoughtfully.

‘Well, I’d better get home,’ said Amelia, with a sigh. ‘Maybe Tangine will be nicer in a smaller group . . .’

‘Well, I’d better get home,’ said Amelia, with a sigh. ‘Maybe Tangine will be nicer in a smaller group . . .’

‘WELL, IF ’E’S MEAN TO YOU, JUST LEMME KNOW AND I’LL COME AND SIT ON ’IM.’

‘WELL, IF ’E’S MEAN TO YOU, JUST LEMME KNOW AND I’LL COME AND SIT ON ’IM.’

Amelia smiled and hugged her friend. ‘Thanks, Florence. What would I do without you?’

Amelia smiled and hugged her friend. ‘Thanks, Florence. What would I do without you?’

‘PROBABLY BE VERY BORED,’ Florence
replied, chuckling.

‘PROBABLY BE VERY BORED,’ Florence replied, chuckling.

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 6

THE TOILET ISN’T SHINY ENOUGH

THE TOILET ISN’T SHINY ENOUGH

When Amelia arrived home, Countess Frivoleeta seemed rather flustered.

When Amelia arrived home, Countess Frivoleeta seemed rather flustered.

‘There’s so much to do! Wooo, is the toilet shiny? IT HAS TO BE SHINY!’ she shrieked, making Squashy bounce into Amelia’s arms. Sometimes Amelia wished her parents were a little less . . . silly.

‘There’s so much to do! Wooo, is the toilet shiny? IT HAS TO BE SHINY!’ she shrieked, making Squashy bounce into Amelia’s arms. Sometimes Amelia wished her parents were a little less . . . silly.

‘I can’t believe the king is coming to dinner. This is HUGE! The first time in YEARS!’ Countess Frivoleeta’s left eyeball popped out in her excitement.

‘I can’t believe the king is coming to dinner. This is HUGE! The first time in YEARS!’ Countess Frivoleeta’s left eyeball popped out in her excitement.

‘We must make sure everything is PERFECT! Amelia, get changed  into something . . . blacker,’ she said, dusting down her eyeball and popping it back in.

‘We must make sure everything is PERFECT! Amelia, get changed into something . . . blacker,’ she said, dusting down her eyeball and popping it back in.

‘I’m already wearing all black,’ said Amelia, wrinkling her nose.

‘I’m already wearing all black,’ said Amelia, wrinkling her nose.

‘Well. Something even MORE black . . . with more frills!’ the countess added, before disappearing through a door.

‘Well. Something even MORE black . . . with more frills!’ the countess added, before disappearing through a door.

Count Drake shuffled into the hall in his fluffy slippers.

Count Drake shuffled into the hall in his fluffy slippers.

‘Aren’t you helping?’ asked Amelia.

‘Aren’t you helping?’ asked Amelia.

‘Me?’ said her father, stretching up his arms and revealing his potbelly. ‘I’ve helped loads. I took my teacup . . .’ He paused and smiled. ‘And I put it . . .’ He looked serious. ‘In the sink.’

‘Me?’ said her father, stretching up his arms and revealing his potbelly. ‘I’ve helped loads. I took my teacup . . .’ He paused and smiled. ‘And I put it . . .’ He looked serious. ‘In the sink.’

Amelia was impressed. That was more than he’d ever done. Ever.

Amelia was impressed. That was more than he’d ever done. Ever.

‘And look! I’ve only got two clues left on my crossword,’ he said, flapping the Midnight Times at Amelia.

‘And look! I’ve only got two clues left on my crossword,’ he said, flapping the Midnight Times at Amelia.

‘Oh, Squashy,’ said Amelia, hugging him to her chest. ‘Mum and Dad have really lost it this time!’

‘Oh, Squashy,’ said Amelia, hugging him to her chest. ‘Mum and Dad have really lost it this time!’

BOOOOOOOOOONG! went the door gong.

BOOOOOOOOOONG! went the door gong.

‘THEY’RE EARLY!’ Countess Frivoleeta screeched from the second floor. ‘I haven’t CHANGED . . . And the TOILET isn’t SHINY enough! Wooo, distract them while I polish my fangs!’

‘THEY’RE EARLY!’ Countess Frivoleeta screeched from the second floor. ‘I haven’t CHANGED . . . And the TOILET isn’t SHINY enough! Wooo, distract them while I polish my fangs!’

Amelia ran up the stairs, with Squashy following close behind, and perched on the first-floor balcony, just out of sight.

Amelia ran up the stairs, with Squashy following close behind, and perched on the first-floor balcony, just out of sight.

Adjusting his monocle, Wooo opened the front door.

Adjusting his monocle, Wooo opened the front door.

‘Welcome to the Fang residence. My name is Wooo,’ he said and gave a graceful bow.

‘Welcome to the Fang residence. My name is Wooo,’ he said and gave a graceful bow.

‘Yes, yes, thank you,’ came a deep, shaky voice.

‘Yes, yes, thank you,’ came a deep, shaky voice.

‘Please, come in,’ said Wooo, gesturing towards the entrance hall.

‘Please, come in,’ said Wooo, gesturing towards the entrance hall.

Into the hallway stepped an extremely tall and miserable-looking man. Amelia thought he seemed incredibly tired. His cloak, covered in black diamonds, glimmered in the candlelight as he glided across the hall.

Into the hallway stepped an extremely tall and miserable-looking man. Amelia thought he seemed incredibly tired. His cloak, covered in black diamonds, glimmered in the candlelight as he glided across the hall.

‘Come, Tangine!’ said King Vladimir,  waving a hand at    the door.

‘Come, Tangine!’ said King Vladimir, waving a hand at the door.

Amelia narrowed

Amelia narrowed

her eyes. She was still angry with the prince for calling Florence a beast. Squashy growled – although it sounded more like a cute gurgle.

her eyes. She was still angry with the prince for calling Florence a beast. Squashy growled – although it sounded more like a cute gurgle.

Tangine stepped into the hall, putting his hands on his hips. ‘Hmmm, I thought our home was cramped, and we have over three thousand rooms,’ he said casually. ‘But this place is like stepping into a cupboard.’

Tangine stepped into the hall, putting his hands on his hips. ‘Hmmm, I thought our home was cramped, and we have over three thousand rooms,’ he said casually. ‘But this place is like stepping into a cupboard.’

Amelia bristled. He was still acting like a spoilt sprout.

Amelia bristled. He was still acting like a spoilt sprout.

‘The count and countess will be with you shortly,’ said Wooo.
‘Can I get you anything to
drink? We have home-
made Eyeball Juice
or Armpit Sweat-
shakes?’

‘The count and countess will be with you shortly,’ said Wooo. ‘Can I get you anything to drink? We have home-made Eyeball Juice or Armpit Sweat-shakes?’

‘I’ll take a Sweat-
shake please,’
mumbled the king.

‘I’ll take a Sweat-shake please,’ mumbled the king.

‘Make that two!’ said Tangine.

‘Make that two!’ said Tangine.

‘Thanks, Ooo.’

‘Thanks, Ooo.’

‘It’s Wooo, sir,’ said Wooo.

‘It’s Wooo, sir,’ said Wooo.

‘Oh, forgive me, Woe,’ said Tangine, not even looking at Wooo. He was busy wiping his shoe on the carpet. ‘Hmm, I think I trod in something outside. It just won’t . . .’ He scraped his foot harder. ‘Come . . .’ Then he kicked really hard.

‘Oh, forgive me, Woe,’ said Tangine, not even looking at Wooo. He was busy wiping his shoe on the carpet. ‘Hmm, I think I trod in something outside. It just won’t . . .’ He scraped his foot harder. ‘Come . . .’ Then he kicked really hard.

‘OFF!’

‘OFF!’

A piece of glittery sludge flew off his shoe and straight through Wooo. At the same moment, Countess Frivoleeta burst through a door, wearing her brand-new dress.

A piece of glittery sludge flew off his shoe and straight through Wooo. At the same moment, Countess Frivoleeta burst through a door, wearing her brand-new dress.

SPLAT!

SPLAT!

The glitter sludge landed on Countess Frivoleeta’s chest.

The glitter sludge landed on Countess Frivoleeta’s chest.

Just then, Count Drake sauntered into the hall in his gloomiest Hawaiian graveyard shirt.

Just then, Count Drake sauntered into the hall in his gloomiest Hawaiian graveyard shirt.

‘VLADIMIR!’ He beamed, putting an arm round the king’s shoulders. ‘It has been too long, my friend. You’re looking . . . gaunt.’ He patted the king. ‘Perhaps you could come and help me with my latest crossword problem while we wait for din—’ Suddenly he stopped dead, staring at the countess’s dress. His hands began to shake. ‘Oooh, my fearsome little fart,’ he said, gasping. ‘Is that g-g-g-g-glitter?’

‘VLADIMIR!’ He beamed, putting an arm round the king’s shoulders. ‘It has been too long, my friend. You’re looking . . . gaunt.’ He patted the king. ‘Perhaps you could come and help me with my latest crossword problem while we wait for din—’ Suddenly he stopped dead, staring at the countess’s dress. His hands began to shake. ‘Oooh, my fearsome little fart,’ he said, gasping. ‘Is that g-g-g-g-glitter?’

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 7

DO SOMETHING, DADDY!

DO SOMETHING, DADDY!

Countess Frivoleeta looked as if she might burst into tears as the big sticky globule of glitter slipped its way down her dress. But, to Amelia’s surprise, her mother paused, gulped and then gave a shaky smile.

Countess Frivoleeta looked as if she might burst into tears as the big sticky globule of glitter slipped its way down her dress. But, to Amelia’s surprise, her mother paused, gulped and then gave a shaky smile.

‘Oooh, it’s O-O-O-K.’ She laughed brightly. ‘A bit of g-g-gl-aaaaah . . . won’t hurt!’

‘Oooh, it’s O-O-O-K.’ She laughed brightly. ‘A bit of g-g-gl-aaaaah . . . won’t hurt!’

Countess Frivoleeta floated past Tangine and curtseyed, wobbling slightly as the glitter slime reached her knee.

Countess Frivoleeta floated past Tangine and curtseyed, wobbling slightly as the glitter slime reached her knee.

‘King Vladimir,’ she gushed, ‘it is an honour

‘King Vladimir,’ she gushed, ‘it is an honour

to have you here in our home after so long. And we are DELIGHTED you can come to the ball this year!’

to have you here in our home after so long. And we are DELIGHTED you can come to the ball this year!’

‘Yes, yes, pleasure,’ said the king, turning away from the countess. He didn’t seem at all bothered by the glitter pooling on the floor.

‘Yes, yes, pleasure,’ said the king, turning away from the countess. He didn’t seem at all bothered by the glitter pooling on the floor.

‘And this is Tangine,’ said the king.

‘And this is Tangine,’ said the king.

Tangine raised his eyebrows and grinned.

Tangine raised his eyebrows and grinned.

‘Well, aren’t you just repugnant!’ said Countess Frivoleeta in a high-pitched voice.

‘Well, aren’t you just repugnant!’ said Countess Frivoleeta in a high-pitched voice.

‘Amelia, darkling, where are you? Come down here this instant and say hello to our guests!’

‘Amelia, darkling, where are you? Come down here this instant and say hello to our guests!’

‘Where are those manners, Miss Ameeelia?’ said Tangine. ‘Probably been

‘Where are those manners, Miss Ameeelia?’ said Tangine. ‘Probably been

spending too much time hanging around with that beastly friend of yours!’

spending too much time hanging around with that beastly friend of yours!’

Before Amelia could say anything, Squashy pa-doinged his way down the stairs and bit the prince’s nose.

Before Amelia could say anything, Squashy pa-doinged his way down the stairs and bit the prince’s nose.

‘OOOOOOOOW!’ Tangine shrieked. ‘OOH, DADDY! Do something, Daddy!’

‘OOOOOOOOW!’ Tangine shrieked. ‘OOH, DADDY! Do something, Daddy!’

Countess Frivoleeta was so shocked, one of her eyebrows fell off and ran away. Amelia raced down the stairs to scoop up Squashy.

Countess Frivoleeta was so shocked, one of her eyebrows fell off and ran away. Amelia raced down the stairs to scoop up Squashy.

‘Oh, my wobbly werewolves, I’m SO sorry! Please forgive him. He’s just overexcited!’ said the countess.

‘Oh, my wobbly werewolves, I’m SO sorry! Please forgive him. He’s just overexcited!’ said the countess.

‘Aren’t you going to say something, Daddy?’ moaned Tangine.

‘Aren’t you going to say something, Daddy?’ moaned Tangine.

‘Oh, you’ll be fine,’ said King Vladimir half-heartedly.

‘Oh, you’ll be fine,’ said King Vladimir half-heartedly.

Amelia watched King Vladimir’s blank face. He didn’t seem to care very much

Amelia watched King Vladimir’s blank face. He didn’t seem to care very much

about anything, including his own son.

about anything, including his own son.

‘Daddy,’ said Tangine, luckily getting distracted by a statue that stood next to the front door. ‘We don’t have a statue of Lord Ey-Ey Pistachio the Eighth in our palace.’

‘Daddy,’ said Tangine, luckily getting distracted by a statue that stood next to the front door. ‘We don’t have a statue of Lord Ey-Ey Pistachio the Eighth in our palace.’

‘No, we don’t,’ agreed the king.

‘No, we don’t,’ agreed the king.

‘We’ve had that statue of the founder of Nocturnia in our family for generations,’ said the countess proudly.

‘We’ve had that statue of the founder of Nocturnia in our family for generations,’ said the countess proudly.

‘I want one,’ said Tangine, pouting at his father.

‘I want one,’ said Tangine, pouting at his father.

‘Very well. I’ll get you one,’ said the king.

‘Very well. I’ll get you one,’ said the king.

‘No. I want that one,’ said Tangine pointing at the small statue.

‘No. I want that one,’ said Tangine pointing at the small statue.

Countess Frivoleeta made a soft choking sound. ‘Oh, I-I-I don’t think—’

Countess Frivoleeta made a soft choking sound. ‘Oh, I-I-I don’t think—’

‘Fine,’ interrupted King Vladimir, picking up the statue.

‘Fine,’ interrupted King Vladimir, picking up the statue.

Countess Frivoleeta glanced over at Count Drake, but he was busy studying

Countess Frivoleeta glanced over at Count Drake, but he was busy studying

his crossword puzzle.

his crossword puzzle.

‘I guess that’s . . . OK. Consider it a . . . welcome back gift,’ said Countess Frivoleeta in a small voice.

‘I guess that’s . . . OK. Consider it a . . . welcome back gift,’ said Countess Frivoleeta in a small voice.

‘There,’ said the king, handing the statue to Tangine, without a blink.

‘There,’ said the king, handing the statue to Tangine, without a blink.

‘Now, where’s that ghost WooWoo with our Sweat-shakes?’ demanded Tangine.

‘Now, where’s that ghost WooWoo with our Sweat-shakes?’ demanded Tangine.

Countess Frivoleeta’s make-up was starting to run.

Countess Frivoleeta’s make-up was starting to run.

‘Amelia,’ she hissed, ‘take the prince to the bathroom and
find some Crispy Carcass
Cream for his poorly nose.’

‘Amelia,’ she hissed, ‘take the prince to the bathroom and find some Crispy Carcass Cream for his poorly nose.’

‘Muuum,’ Amelia groaned. ‘I don’t want—’

‘Muuum,’ Amelia groaned. ‘I don’t want—’

‘Now! snapped Countess Frivoleeta.

‘Now! snapped Countess Frivoleeta.

Luckily, at that

Luckily, at that

moment, Wooo arrived with the drinks.

moment, Wooo arrived with the drinks.

‘Apologies for the delay,’ he announced. ‘We always make the Armpit Sweat-shakes from scratch.’

‘Apologies for the delay,’ he announced. ‘We always make the Armpit Sweat-shakes from scratch.’

The king grabbed a tall glass with a thin, shaky hand. Tangine gulped his whole shake down in one, and then belched loudly.

The king grabbed a tall glass with a thin, shaky hand. Tangine gulped his whole shake down in one, and then belched loudly.

‘Too salty,’ he said, chucking the glass on to the tray.

‘Too salty,’ he said, chucking the glass on to the tray.

‘I think I’ll just change into some clean clothes before dinner is served. This was, erm, just my welcome dress,’ said Countess Frivoleeta, glancing at the glittery stain and shuddering.

‘I think I’ll just change into some clean clothes before dinner is served. This was, erm, just my welcome dress,’ said Countess Frivoleeta, glancing at the glittery stain and shuddering.

‘Well?’ said Tangine, turning to Amelia. ‘Where’s the bathroom then? My nose feels like it’s starting to blister.’

‘Well?’ said Tangine, turning to Amelia. ‘Where’s the bathroom then? My nose feels like it’s starting to blister.’

Amelia stomped up the staircase, while Squashy gave Tangine his most menacing stare, which still looked pretty cute.

Amelia stomped up the staircase, while Squashy gave Tangine his most menacing stare, which still looked pretty cute.

‘Does that pumpkin go everywhere with
you?’ said Tangine
as they wound their way up the spiral staircase.

‘Does that pumpkin go everywhere with you?’ said Tangine as they wound their way up the spiral staircase.

Amelia spun round. ‘Squashy is the

Amelia spun round. ‘Squashy is the

nicest pumpkin
ever. He only bites
if somebody is being
really mean!’ Tangine
began twiddling his thumbs.
‘Look at all these doors,’ he
said, ignoring Amelia. ‘I like
this one . . .’ He was about
to stroke a big black door
covered with intricate silver

nicest pumpkin ever. He only bites if somebody is being really mean!’ Tangine began twiddling his thumbs. ‘Look at all these doors,’ he said, ignoring Amelia. ‘I like this one . . .’ He was about to stroke a big black door covered with intricate silver decorations, but it burst into flames.

decorations, but it burst into flames.

decorations, but it burst into flames.

‘What was THAT?’ squealed Tangine, falling backwards.

‘What was THAT?’ squealed Tangine, falling backwards.

‘The doors do that sometimes,’ said Amelia, unable to contain her grin.

‘The doors do that sometimes,’ said Amelia, unable to contain her grin.

‘How dare they?’ said Tangine. ‘And why are there so many doors in this house? It’s far too small to have this many rooms.’

‘How dare they?’ said Tangine. ‘And why are there so many doors in this house? It’s far too small to have this many rooms.’

‘They’re not all rooms,’ said Amelia mysteriously.

‘They’re not all rooms,’ said Amelia mysteriously.

In fact, there were doors of all shapes and sizes lining every corridor of the Fang house. Some doors led to rooms on different floors, some led outside the mansion, while others simply disappeared one day, never to be seen again.

In fact, there were doors of all shapes and sizes lining every corridor of the Fang house. Some doors led to rooms on different floors, some led outside the mansion, while others simply disappeared one day, never to be seen again.

Amelia opened a big red door into complete darkness. ‘Anyway, here’s the bathroom . . .’ she said.

Amelia opened a big red door into complete darkness. ‘Anyway, here’s the bathroom . . .’ she said.

‘That’s not a bathroom,’ said Tangine.

‘That’s not a bathroom,’ said Tangine.

‘There’s nothing in there.’

‘There’s nothing in there.’

Amelia rolled her eyes. ‘Just go in. It’ll take you to the bathroom, you’ll see.’

Amelia rolled her eyes. ‘Just go in. It’ll take you to the bathroom, you’ll see.’

‘No,’ said Tangine, folding his arms. ‘What if it bursts into flames when I walk in? You have to come in with me.’

‘No,’ said Tangine, folding his arms. ‘What if it bursts into flames when I walk in? You have to come in with me.’

‘I’m NOT going to the bathroom with you,’ said Amelia.

‘I’m NOT going to the bathroom with you,’ said Amelia.

Tangine’s cheeks flushed. ‘DAAAADDYYYYYY!’ he began to call.

Tangine’s cheeks flushed. ‘DAAAADDYYYYYY!’ he began to call.

‘Oh, fine!’ said Amelia quickly. ‘Stop being so silly!’

‘Oh, fine!’ said Amelia quickly. ‘Stop being so silly!’

Tangine followed Amelia through the red door. The next thing they knew, they were in a HUGE room with a tiny toilet and a sink in the centre. The room was so big that Amelia and Tangine’s voices echoed.

Tangine followed Amelia through the red door. The next thing they knew, they were in a HUGE room with a tiny toilet and a sink in the centre. The room was so big that Amelia and Tangine’s voices echoed.

‘Here’s the cream for your nose.’ Amelia handed Tangine an ornate skull bottle.

‘Here’s the cream for your nose.’ Amelia handed Tangine an ornate skull bottle.

‘Hmmm,’ said Tangine thoughtfully. ‘That toilet isn’t shiny enough.’

‘Hmmm,’ said Tangine thoughtfully. ‘That toilet isn’t shiny enough.’

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 8

I WANT THAT ONE

I WANT THAT ONE

Once Tangine had put cream on his nose – complaining all the while – Amelia led him back to the dining room, where the king was slumped at the head of the table.

Once Tangine had put cream on his nose – complaining all the while – Amelia led him back to the dining room, where the king was slumped at the head of the table.

‘That’s a very grand chair, Daddy,’ said Tangine pointing at the jewel-encrusted seat.

‘That’s a very grand chair, Daddy,’ said Tangine pointing at the jewel-encrusted seat.

‘Do you like it?’ Countess Frivoleeta beamed. ‘It was given to me by my father. I only let very special guests use it. I don’t even let Drake sit on it, do I, my lovely little compost heap?’ Then she laughed and winked at the king.

‘Do you like it?’ Countess Frivoleeta beamed. ‘It was given to me by my father. I only let very special guests use it. I don’t even let Drake sit on it, do I, my lovely little compost heap?’ Then she laughed and winked at the king.

King Vladimir gave what looked like a

King Vladimir gave what looked like a

forced smile. ‘Very nice,’ he said quietly.

forced smile. ‘Very nice,’ he said quietly.

‘It’s much better than this old thing I’m sitting on,’ said Tangine, wriggling around.   ‘I want a chair like that, Daddy.’

‘It’s much better than this old thing I’m sitting on,’ said Tangine, wriggling around.     ‘I want a chair like that, Daddy.’

‘Fine, son, I’ll get you one,’ said King Vladimir distractedly, leaning over to look at Drake’s crossword puzzle.

‘Fine, son, I’ll get you one,’ said King Vladimir distractedly, leaning over to look at Drake’s crossword puzzle.

‘No, Daddy. I want that one,’ said Tangine.

‘No, Daddy. I want that one,’ said Tangine.

‘Oh, I don’t think—’ the countess started.

‘Oh, I don’t think—’ the countess started.

‘Yes, yes, OK, it’s yours,’ said the king, hardly seeming to listen to Tangine. ‘Flatulence. That’s the last clue,’ he said, striking the crossword with a pointy fingernail.

‘Yes, yes, OK, it’s yours,’ said the king, hardly seeming to listen to Tangine. ‘Flatulence. That’s the last clue,’ he said, striking the crossword with a pointy fingernail.

Count Drake’s eyes widened, then he stood up and hugged the king. ‘Oh, how I have MISSED you, buddy!’

Count Drake’s eyes widened, then he stood up and hugged the king. ‘Oh, how I have MISSED you, buddy!’

Amelia couldn’t contain herself any longer. ‘Mum! King Vladimir just told Tangine he could take YOUR chair! He

Amelia couldn’t contain herself any longer. ‘Mum! King Vladimir just told Tangine he could take YOUR chair! He

didn’t even ask . . . That’s stealing!’

didn’t even ask . . . That’s stealing!’

‘That’s quite enough, Amelia,’ said Countess Frivoleeta in an unsteady voice.

‘That’s quite enough, Amelia,’ said Countess Frivoleeta in an unsteady voice.

‘But MUM,’ said Amelia.

‘But MUM,’ said Amelia.

‘I said that’s quite enough!’ snapped the countess.

‘I said that’s quite enough!’ snapped the countess.

Wooo floated in with a platter of Curiously Crusty Crabs, Assorted Scabs and Severed Fingers on Sticks.

Wooo floated in with a platter of Curiously Crusty Crabs, Assorted Scabs and Severed Fingers on Sticks.

‘Well, this looks . . . average,’ said Tangine, tucking a napkin into his collar. Then he took the whole platter from Wooo and placed it down in front of him. ‘But I’m too hungry to care.’ He shrugged and began gobbling down the food.

‘Well, this looks . . . average,’ said Tangine, tucking a napkin into his collar. Then he took the whole platter from Wooo and placed it down in front of him. ‘But I’m too hungry to care.’ He shrugged and began gobbling down the food.

The whole table sat in silence while Tangine chomped and slurped, finishing with a thunderous BELCH. The king just sipped at his Sweat-shake.

The whole table sat in silence while Tangine chomped and slurped, finishing with a thunderous BELCH. The king just sipped at his Sweat-shake.

‘What’s for dessert?’ Tangine demanded,

‘What’s for dessert?’ Tangine demanded,

clapping his tiny hands together. A piece of scab flew from his mouth and landed on Countess Frivoleeta’s forehead.

clapping his tiny hands together. A piece of scab flew from his mouth and landed on Countess Frivoleeta’s forehead.

Wooo appeared, carrying a tray of Putrid Pus-filled Profiteroles. Amelia’s favourite!

Wooo appeared, carrying a tray of Putrid Pus-filled Profiteroles. Amelia’s favourite!

Again, Tangine took the whole tray. But this time Wooo was one step ahead. He disappeared through the wall and reappeared with a bigger tray of profiteroles, with extra putrid pus filling!

Again, Tangine took the whole tray. But this time Wooo was one step ahead. He disappeared through the wall and reappeared with a bigger tray of profiteroles, with extra putrid pus filling!

Squashy even had his own plateful. Amelia caught Wooo’s eye and smiled. He just winked and carried on serving.

Squashy even had his own plateful. Amelia caught Wooo’s eye and smiled. He just winked and carried on serving.

At the end of the meal, the king gave a long sigh.

At the end of the meal, the king gave a long sigh.

‘Well,’ he said, ‘Tangine and I must return to the palace now.’

‘Well,’ he said, ‘Tangine and I must return to the palace now.’

‘The Great Gothic Gravestone Carve Off  award ceremony is on,’ Tangine said.

‘The Great Gothic Gravestone Carve Off award ceremony is on,’ Tangine said.

‘I-haven’t-watched-the-last-episode-so-

‘I-haven’t-watched-the-last-episode-so-

please-don’t-spoil-it!’ said Amelia quickly.

please-don’t-spoil-it!’ said Amelia quickly.

‘Oh, so you don’t know that Seth the Serpent won?’ said Tangine, slyly.

‘Oh, so you don’t know that Seth the Serpent won?’ said Tangine, slyly.

Amelia was ready to throw something at him. ANYTHING . . . as long as it was heavy enough to squish him. Forever. Could this evening get any worse?

Amelia was ready to throw something at him. ANYTHING . . . as long as it was heavy enough to squish him. Forever. Could this evening get any worse?

Squashy bounced on to Amelia’s lap and licked her hands gently.

Squashy bounced on to Amelia’s lap and licked her hands gently.

‘That fat little orange thing shouldn’t be at the table,’ said Tangine.

‘That fat little orange thing shouldn’t be at the table,’ said Tangine.

‘His name is Squashy,’ Amelia growled.

‘His name is Squashy,’ Amelia growled.

‘Daddy,’ said Tangine cupping his hands under his chin. ‘I think I want a pet.’

‘Daddy,’ said Tangine cupping his hands under his chin. ‘I think I want a pet.’

‘You told me pets were silly,’ said Amelia.

‘You told me pets were silly,’ said Amelia.

‘Well,’ said Tangine, ‘I changed my mind.’

‘Well,’ said Tangine, ‘I changed my mind.’

The king gave a sigh. ‘I’ll get you a pet, son,’ he said, wrapping his cloak around his bony shoulders.

The king gave a sigh. ‘I’ll get you a pet, son,’ he said, wrapping his cloak around his bony shoulders.

‘I want a pet pumpkin,’ said Tangine,

‘I want a pet pumpkin,’ said Tangine,

looking Amelia in the eyes.

looking Amelia in the eyes.

Amelia felt her insides turn to ice. Squashy nuzzled closer to her chest.

Amelia felt her insides turn to ice. Squashy nuzzled closer to her chest.

‘Fine,’ said King Vladimir. ‘I’ll get you a pet pumpkin.’

‘Fine,’ said King Vladimir. ‘I’ll get you a pet pumpkin.’

Amelia didn’t take her eyes off Tangine.

Amelia didn’t take her eyes off Tangine.

Tangine grinned, showing bits of profiterole pus caught in his teeth.

Tangine grinned, showing bits of profiterole pus caught in his teeth.

‘Oh no, Daddy,’ he said in his most superior voice. ‘I . . . waaaant . . . thaaaaat ... oooone.’ And, as if in slow motion, Tangine pointed a greasy finger towards Squashy.

‘Oh no, Daddy,’ he said in his most superior voice. ‘I . . . waaaant . . . thaaaaat . . . oooone.’ And, as if in slow motion, Tangine pointed a greasy finger towards Squashy.

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 9

THE GREEN DOOR WITH THE MOULDY HANDLE

THE GREEN DOOR WITH THE MOULDY HANDLE

Before Amelia knew it, she was running around the table.

Before Amelia knew it, she was running around the table.

‘OH, DADDY! Help! I’m so scared!’ wailed Tangine. He hid behind the king, then poked his head round his father’s back and smirked. Amelia clenched her fists, but Countess Frivoleeta placed a hand on her shoulder.

‘OH, DADDY! Help! I’m so scared!’ wailed Tangine. He hid behind the king, then poked his head round his father’s back and smirked. Amelia clenched her fists, but Countess Frivoleeta placed a hand on her shoulder.

‘Amelia, calm down please,’ she said quietly but firmly. ‘Too much putrid pus has

‘Amelia, calm down please,’ she said quietly but firmly. ‘Too much putrid pus has

made you a little hysterical . . .’

made you a little hysterical . . .’

‘Mum! Tell him! They can’t take Squashy away.’ Amelia felt tears prickling her eyes.

‘Mum! Tell him! They can’t take Squashy away.’ Amelia felt tears prickling her eyes.

‘Amelia, darkling,’ her mother said through gritted teeth. ‘Don’t cause a scene. Remember what the king and his son have been through. It took a lot of guts for them to come out tonight . . .’

‘Amelia, darkling,’ her mother said through gritted teeth. ‘Don’t cause a scene. Remember what the king and his son have been through. It took a lot of guts for them to come out tonight . . .’

Tangine grabbed Squashy by his stalk, holding him up to his face. ‘You belong to me now.’

Tangine grabbed Squashy by his stalk, holding him up to his face. ‘You belong to me now.’

Squashy made a tiny squeaking noise.

Squashy made a tiny squeaking noise.

‘Stop that!’ shouted Amelia. ‘You’re scaring him! Don’t hold him like that!’

‘Stop that!’ shouted Amelia. ‘You’re scaring him! Don’t hold him like that!’

‘He’ll have MUCH more fun in our lovely big palace,’ said Tangine.

‘He’ll have MUCH more fun in our lovely big palace,’ said Tangine.

‘YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM!’ Amelia reached forward for Squashy, who was struggling to get away from Tangine.

‘YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM!’ Amelia reached forward for Squashy, who was struggling to get away from Tangine.

‘Wooo, please take Amelia to her room to cool off,’ said Countess Frivoleeta. She looked at Amelia sadly, then cleared her throat and adjusted her hair. ‘We’ll see our guests out.’

‘Wooo, please take Amelia to her room to cool off,’ said Countess Frivoleeta. She looked at Amelia sadly, then cleared her throat and adjusted her hair. ‘We’ll see our guests out.’

Wooo flew over. His face never usually gave much away, but just now he looked sad.

Wooo flew over. His face never usually gave much away, but just now he looked sad.

‘You won’t get away with this!’ Amelia hissed into Tangine’s ear as Wooo led her gently up the staircase.

‘You won’t get away with this!’ Amelia hissed into Tangine’s ear as Wooo led her gently up the staircase.

‘Terribly sorry about the commotion, King Vladimir,’ said Countess Frivoleeta. ‘I hope you enjoyed your evening with us.

‘Terribly sorry about the commotion, King Vladimir,’ said Countess Frivoleeta. ‘I hope you enjoyed your evening with us.

It’s delightful to see you again. And Tangine . . .’ The countess forced a smile. ‘It’s been an . . . experience . . .’

It’s delightful to see you again. And Tangine . . .’ The countess forced a smile. ‘It’s been an . . . experience . . .’

‘Wooo,’ whispered Amelia to the ghost butler at the top of the stairs, ‘I must tell Florence and Grimaldi! I have to get Squashy back!’

‘Wooo,’ whispered Amelia to the ghost butler at the top of the stairs, ‘I must tell Florence and Grimaldi! I have to get Squashy back!’

Wooo adjusted his monocle. ‘Now, Miss Amelia, you’ve been sent to your room . . .’ he said before disappearing through the wall. A moment later he reappeared with her hooded cape. ‘But take this, just in case you need some fresh air. Try to be home before the sun rises.’ He winked.

Wooo adjusted his monocle. ‘Now, Miss Amelia, you’ve been sent to your room . . .’ he said before disappearing through the wall. A moment later he reappeared with her hooded cape. ‘But take this, just in case you need some fresh air. Try to be home before the sun rises.’ He winked.

‘Thanks, Wooo,’ Amelia said with a sad smile. ‘You’re the best.’

‘Thanks, Wooo,’ Amelia said with a sad smile. ‘You’re the best.’

Drawing the cloak around her shoulders, she made her way to the fourth floor of the house. As she crept up the stairs, she was about to warn Squashy to keep quiet . . . but

Drawing the cloak around her shoulders, she made her way to the fourth floor of the house. As she crept up the stairs, she was about to warn Squashy to keep quiet . . . but

then she remembered he was gone, and her heart felt like something was squeezing it. And then she heard Tangine’s slimy voice in her mind and all she could feel was anger.

then she remembered he was gone, and her heart felt like something was squeezing it. And then she heard Tangine’s slimy voice in her mind and all she could feel was anger.

‘That boy is pure unicorn poo!’ she said under her breath. ‘I’d rather go to a thousand Barbaric Balls on my own than spend one with him!’

‘That boy is pure unicorn poo!’ she said under her breath. ‘I’d rather go to a thousand Barbaric Balls on my own than spend one with him!’

Amelia stared down the long corridor. Somewhere along the left-hand side was a door that led straight to the edge of the River Styx, where Grimaldi and his family lived. She had discovered it years ago when she was playing hide-and-seek with Squashy, but she could never be sure exactly which door it was.

Amelia stared down the long corridor. Somewhere along the left-hand side was a door that led straight to the edge of the River Styx, where Grimaldi and his family lived. She had discovered it years ago when she was playing hide-and-seek with Squashy, but she could never be sure exactly which door it was.

First, she tried a thin brown one with wooden carvings all over it. Stepping through, Amelia found herself in Wooo’s study.

First, she tried a thin brown one with wooden carvings all over it. Stepping through, Amelia found herself in Wooo’s study.

Next she tried a shiny purple door with gold trimmings.

Next she tried a shiny purple door with gold trimmings.

‘EEK!’ she cried. It was one of her mother’s dressing rooms and it was FULL of mirrors. Amelia had never seen herself from so many angles before. She backed out, feeling a bit dizzy.

‘EEK!’ she cried. It was one of her mother’s dressing rooms and it was FULL of mirrors. Amelia had never seen herself from so many angles before. She backed out, feeling a bit dizzy.

Suddenly, she felt a breeze on her ankles.

Suddenly, she felt a breeze on her ankles.

It was coming from underneath a dark green door with a mouldy handle. Hmm, she thought, definitely the smell of stagnant water . . .

It was coming from underneath a dark green door with a mouldy handle. HmmHmm, she thought, definitely the smell of stagnant water . . .

She turned the creaky handle and opened the door . . .

She turned the creaky handle and opened the door . . .

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 10

STEALTHY FLORENCE

STEALTHY FLORENCE

Amelia stepped into a little wooden boat that was perched on the edge of the River Styx and rowed to the Reapertons’ Barge. She pulled up next to Grimaldi’s bedroom window and knocked gently three times.

Amelia stepped into a little wooden boat that was perched on the edge of the River Styx and rowed to the Reapertons’ Barge. She pulled up next to Grimaldi’s bedroom window and knocked gently three times.

The black curtains parted, revealing Grimaldi’s big eyes. They widened further when he saw Amelia peering in, and hastily he opened the window.

The black curtains parted, revealing Grimaldi’s big eyes. They widened further when he saw Amelia peering in, and hastily he opened the window.

‘Hey . . . what’s wrong?’ he said glancing at the boat. ‘Where’s Squashy?’

‘Hey . . . what’s wrong?’ he said glancing at the boat. ‘Where’s Squashy?’

‘That’s why I’m here,’ Amelia whispered. ‘Tangine TOOK him!’

‘That’s why I’m here,’ Amelia whispered. ‘Tangine TOOK him!’

‘WHAT?’ Grimaldi gasped.

‘WHAT?’ Grimaldi gasped.

‘Grimmy?’ came his mum’s voice. ‘Is everything OK?’

‘Grimmy?’ came his mum’s voice. ‘Is everything OK?’

‘Er, yeah, Grimama, fine, all fine,’ Grimaldi yelled towards the bedroom door. ‘Just, er, watching a documentary about unicorns for school! It’s a bit scary . . .’ He glanced at Amelia hopefully. They waited in silence.

‘Er, yeah, Grimama, fine, all fine,’ Grimaldi yelled towards the bedroom door. ‘Just, er, watching a documentary about unicorns for school! It’s a bit scary . . .’ He glanced at Amelia hopefully. They waited in silence.

‘Oh, OK,’ said Grimaldi’s mum. ‘Don’t stay up too late, my deathly one, and be careful not to give yourself daymares!’

‘Oh, OK,’ said Grimaldi’s mum. ‘Don’t stay up too late, my deathly one, and be careful not to give yourself daymares!’

‘Yes, Grimamaaaa,’ said Grimaldi. ‘Sorry about that,’ he whispered to Amelia.

‘Yes, Grimamaaaa,’ said Grimaldi. ‘Sorry about that,’ he whispered to Amelia.

‘We need to go and tell Florence before it gets too late,’ said Amelia. ‘The sun comes up soon . . .’

‘We need to go and tell Florence before it gets too late,’ said Amelia. ‘The sun comes up soon . . .’

Grimaldi pulled up his hood and climbed carefully into the boat.

Grimaldi pulled up his hood and climbed carefully into the boat.

The three friends sat under the Petrified-Tree-That-Looked-Like-a-Unicorn as Amelia explained what had happened.

The three friends sat under the Petrified-Tree-That-Looked-Like-a-Unicorn as Amelia explained what had happened.

‘I CAN’T BELIEVE ’E TOOK SQUASHY,’ said Florence. ‘WHAT A LOADA GLITTER!’ She punched the ground, and an almighty crack appeared.

‘I CAN’T BELIEVE ’E TOOK SQUASHY,’ said Florence. ‘WHAT A LOADA GLITTER!’ She punched the ground, and an almighty crack appeared.

Grimaldi stroked his scythe. ‘If I could find a way to put Tangine on Grimpapa’s “list”, I would. But he’s just not dead enough yet . . .’

Grimaldi stroked his scythe. ‘If I could find a way to put Tangine on Grimpapa’s “list”, I would. But he’s just not dead enough yet . . .’

Amelia’s heart felt heavy. ‘Poor Squashy,’ she said quietly.

Amelia’s heart felt heavy. ‘Poor Squashy,’ she said quietly.

Florence put a big hairy arm around Amelia’s shoulders and hugged her friend into her chest. ‘I’LL CRUSH ’IM!’ she said, clenching her arm muscles in anger. ‘THE BIG CABBAGE-BUM!’

Florence put a big hairy arm around Amelia’s shoulders and hugged her friend into her chest. ‘I’LL CRUSH ’IM!’ she said, clenching her arm muscles in anger. ‘THE BIG CABBAGE-BUM!’

‘You’re about to crush me!’ wheezed Amelia

‘You’re about to crush me!’ wheezed Amelia

through a mouthful of Florence’s hair.

through a mouthful of Florence’s hair.

‘OOPS, SORRY.’

‘OOPS, SORRY.’

Amelia looked up at the sky.

Amelia looked up at the sky.

‘We don’t have long until the sun rises, so we’ll have to be fast. We need to break into the palace,’ she said with a determined look on her face. ‘It’s the only way to save Squashy!’

‘We don’t have long until the sun rises, so we’ll have to be fast. We need to break into the palace,’ she said with a determined look on her face. ‘It’s the only way to save Squashy!’

Grimaldi made a tiny eep sound.

Grimaldi made a tiny eep sound.

Florence stood up and puffed her hairy chest out. ‘I’M IN!’ she said, placing a big paw on Amelia’s shoulder and almost knocking her over.

Florence stood up and puffed her hairy chest out. ‘I’M IN!’ she said, placing a big paw on Amelia’s shoulder and almost knocking her over.

Grimaldi twiddled the point of his hood anxiously. ‘What if we get caught? Or what

Grimaldi twiddled the point of his hood anxiously. ‘What if we get caught? Or what

if daylight comes before we get inside? OR WHAT IF . . .’ He started hyperventilating.

if daylight comes before we get inside? OR WHAT IF . . .’ He started hyperventilating.

‘Hey,’ said Amelia, putting her arm round Grimaldi. ‘I won’t let that happen. But Squashy really needs me. Will you help me get him back?’

‘Hey,’ said Amelia, putting her arm round Grimaldi. ‘I won’t let that happen. But Squashy really needs me. Will you help me get him back?’

Grimaldi took a deep breath, and then hit the base of his scythe on the ground. ‘OK . . . I’m in too!’

Grimaldi took a deep breath, and then hit the base of his scythe on the ground. ‘OK . . . I’m in too!’

As Amelia, Florence and Grimaldi reached Nocturnia Palace, they tried to be as quiet as possible, which was quite difficult for Florence.

As Amelia, Florence and Grimaldi reached Nocturnia Palace, they tried to be as quiet as possible, which was quite difficult for Florence.

‘I CAN’T BELIEVE ’OW STEALTHY I’M BEING,’ she said in her quietest voice, which echoed through the silence. A few crows flew out of a tree in fright.

‘I CAN’T BELIEVE ’OW STEALTHY I’M BEING,’ she said in her quietest voice, which echoed through the silence. A few crows flew out of a tree in fright.

‘Shhhhh! We don’t want to get caught!’ said Grimaldi anxiously.

‘Shhhhh! We don’t want to get caught!’ said Grimaldi anxiously.

They gazed up at Nocturnia Palace, which was illuminated in the moonlight. There were hundreds of windows, all lined with black and gold.

They gazed up at Nocturnia Palace, which was illuminated in the moonlight. There were hundreds of windows, all lined with black and gold.

‘How are we meant to find Squashy in there?’ whispered Grimaldi.

‘How are we meant to find Squashy in there?’ whispered Grimaldi.

A whiny voice floated down from a window high above them. ‘NO! I don’t want it any more! I’m bored with it!’ Amelia would have recognised that voice anywhere. It was Tangine!

A whiny voice floated down from a window high above them. ‘NO! I don’t want it any more! I’m bored with it!’ Amelia would have recognised that voice anywhere. It was Tangine!

Suddenly a heavy object came flying out of the window, landing in a broken heap next to Florence.

Suddenly a heavy object came flying out of the window, landing in a broken heap next to Florence.

‘AARGH! I COULDA DIED!’ she shouted.

‘AARGH! I COULDA DIED!’ she shouted.

‘Shh, Florence,’ Amelia whispered. They ducked behind a statue of the king riding a headless chicken, as Tangine’s face appeared at the top window.

‘Shh, Florence,’ Amelia whispered. They ducked behind a statue of the king riding a headless chicken, as Tangine’s face appeared at the top window.

‘Hmmm, I thought I heard something . . .’ he murmured, scanning the grounds.

‘Hmmm, I thought I heard something . . .’ he murmured, scanning the grounds.

Amelia took a closer look at the heap of rubble. It was the statue of Lord Ey-Ey Pistachio that Tangine had taken from her house earlier that night.

Amelia took a closer look at the heap of rubble. It was the statue of Lord Ey-Ey Pistachio that Tangine had taken from her house earlier that night.

‘How rude!’ she muttered. ‘Aargh! I WISH I could fly so I could see if Squashy is in there.’

‘How rude!’ she muttered. ‘Aargh! I WISH I could fly so I could see if Squashy is in there.’

‘WHAT’S THE POINT IN ’AVING WINGS IF YOU CAN’T USE ’EM?’ said Florence.

‘WHAT’S THE POINT IN ’AVING WINGS IF YOU CAN’T USE ’EM?’ said Florence.

‘They’re just for

‘They’re just for

show, really,’ said Amelia with a sigh. ‘Like your appendix or your tonsils. Hey, I have an idea! How about if Grimaldi balances on your shoulders, then I climb on his shoulders . . . then we might just be tall enough to see in!’

show, really,’ said Amelia with a sigh. ‘Like your appendix or your tonsils. Hey, I have an idea! How about if Grimaldi balances on your shoulders, then I climb on his shoulders . . . then we might just be tall enough to see in!’

‘JUMP ON,’ said Florence, and the trio clambered over each other.

‘JUMP ON,’ said Florence, and the trio clambered over each other.

‘Just a little higher . . .’ said Amelia, craning her neck.

‘Just a little higher . . .’ said Amelia, craning her neck.

Florence took a deep breath and balanced on the very tip of her toes.

Florence took a deep breath and balanced on the very tip of her toes.

‘Perfect!’ whispered Amelia.

‘Perfect!’ whispered Amelia.

‘I DON’T TAKE BALLET LESSONS EVERY WEEKEND FER NUFFING,’ Florence said.

‘I DON’T TAKE BALLET LESSONS EVERY WEEKEND FER NUFFING,’ Florence said.

Through the window, Amelia could see Tangine sitting smugly on Countess Frivoleeta’s chair. A tall Mummy Maid stood next to him, holding a tray of Baked Noses.

Through the window, Amelia could see Tangine sitting smugly on Countess Frivoleeta’s chair. A tall Mummy Maid stood next to him, holding a tray of Baked Noses.

‘WINIFRED! I can’t hear the TV, turn it up!’

‘WINIFRED! I can’t hear the TV, turn it up!’

Tangine took a Baked Nose, sniffed it, then threw it across the room, before knocking the whole tray out of the Mummy Maid’s hands. Noses scattered over the floor and one sneezed, launching itself into the fireplace.

Tangine took a Baked Nose, sniffed it, then threw it across the room, before knocking the whole tray out of the Mummy Maid’s hands. Noses scattered over the floor and one sneezed, launching itself into the fireplace.

‘I told you I wanted SNOTTY NOSES, Winifred!’ Tangine screamed. ‘These noses are TOO DRY! Make me some more!’

‘I told you I wanted SNOTTY NOSES, Winifred!’ Tangine screamed. ‘These noses are TOO DRY! Make me some more!’

Amelia couldn’t see Squashy anywhere.

Amelia couldn’t see Squashy anywhere.

‘Urgh, this chair is so uncomfortable. Winifred! Wait!’ Tangine stood up and kicked the chair over. ‘I’m bored of it now, get rid of it.’ Then he clapped his hands twice. ‘GERALDINE!’

‘Urgh, this chair is so uncomfortable. Winifred! Wait!’ Tangine stood up and kicked the chair over. ‘I’m bored of it now, get rid of it.’ Then he clapped his hands twice. ‘GERALDINE!’

‘Squashy’s not in there, let’s try another window,’ Amelia whispered. Then suddenly she heard a familiar squeak.

‘Squashy’s not in there, let’s try another window,’ Amelia whispered. Then suddenly she heard a familiar squeak.

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 11

CREATURES OF THE LIGHT

CREATURES OF THE LIGHT

Amelia had to stop herself from crying out.

Amelia had to stop herself from crying out.

A Mummy Maid had walked into the room holding Squashy, who was wearing a ruffled collar and a tiny top hat.

A Mummy Maid had walked into the room holding Squashy, who was wearing a ruffled collar and a tiny top hat.

‘Oh, you look DIVINE!’ said Tangine, clapping his hands. He grabbed Squashy and plonked him on the floor. ‘Now, Geraldine, go and make us some Peppered Pimple Popsicles.’

‘Oh, you look DIVINE!’ said Tangine, clapping his hands. He grabbed Squashy and plonked him on the floor. ‘Now, Geraldine, go and make us some Peppered Pimple Popsicles.’

It took all Amelia’s willpower not to climb up through the window and grab Squashy. He looked so sad; he wasn’t even bouncing or waggling his stalk.

It took all Amelia’s willpower not to climb up through the window and grab Squashy. He looked so sad; he wasn’t even bouncing or waggling his stalk.

‘Come on, Squashy, let’s do something fun!’ said Tangine, bending down so his face was level with Squashy’s.

‘Come on, Squashy, let’s do something fun!’ said Tangine, bending down so his face was level with Squashy’s.

Squashy turned away.

Squashy turned away.

‘How about a game of hide-and-seek?’ Tangine beamed. He ran behind a sofa and started chuckling. ‘I bet you can’t find me! Hehehe!’

‘How about a game of hide-and-seek?’ Tangine beamed. He ran behind a sofa and started chuckling. ‘I bet you can’t find me! Hehehe!’

Amelia watched as Squashy sighed and closed his eyes. A tiny pumpkin teardrop fell to the ground and Amelia’s heart felt like it might explode.

Amelia watched as Squashy sighed and closed his eyes. A tiny pumpkin teardrop fell to the ground and Amelia’s heart felt like it might explode.

Tangine was still hiding behind the sofa. His smile soon turned into a frown.

Tangine was still hiding behind the sofa. His smile soon turned into a frown.

‘You didn’t even try!’ he said grumpily as he reappeared. ‘OK, how about we read a book together? Do you like reading? I have a great book called Facts About Being a Good King . . . or another one called Kingly Things to Do on a Rainy Day?’

‘You didn’t even try!’ he said grumpily as he reappeared. ‘OK, how about we read a book together? Do you like reading? I have a great book called Facts About Being a Good King . . . or another one called Kingly Things to Do on a Rainy Day?’

Squashy was silent.

Squashy was silent.

Tangine slumped on to the floor. ‘You’re no fun,’ he mumbled.

Tangine slumped on to the floor. ‘You’re no fun,’ he mumbled.

Squashy suddenly started sniffing the air. Then he bounced over to the window where Amelia was perched, squeaking frantically.

Squashy suddenly started sniffing the air. Then he bounced over to the window where Amelia was perched, squeaking frantically.

Amelia clambered swiftly down to the ground, leaving the sound of his pa-doings behind her.

Amelia clambered swiftly down to the ground, leaving the sound of his pa-doings behind her.

‘Did you see Squashy?’ asked Grimaldi. ‘Is he OK?’

‘Did you see Squashy?’ asked Grimaldi. ‘Is he OK?’

Florence grunted before Amelia could answer.

Florence grunted before Amelia could answer.

‘AARGH. MY ARM ’AIRS ARE TINGLING. SOMEFING’S WRONG!’

‘AARGH. MY ARM ’AIRS ARE TINGLING. SOMEFING’S WRONG!’

‘Shhhh, Florence, Tangine will hear us!’ Grimaldi hushed.

‘Shhhh, Florence, Tangine will hear us!’ Grimaldi hushed.

The sound of footsteps came from above.

The sound of footsteps came from above.

‘Hide!’ said Amelia.

‘Hide!’ said Amelia.

They darted behind the nearest statue

They darted behind the nearest statue

just as Tangine craned his neck out of the window. ‘What’s all the silly fuss about, Squashy?’

just as Tangine craned his neck out of the window. ‘What’s all the silly fuss about, Squashy?’

Amelia could hear Squashy squeaking. It was breaking her heart to hide from him.

Amelia could hear Squashy squeaking. It was breaking her heart to hide from him.

‘Winifred!’ came Tangine’s voice. ‘Send the Gremlin Guards out to check the grounds! I think Squashy’s seen something.’ He stared at the statue where Amelia and her friends were hiding.

‘Winifred!’ came Tangine’s voice. ‘Send the Gremlin Guards out to check the grounds! I think Squashy’s seen something.’ He stared at the statue where Amelia and her friends were hiding.

‘Winifred . . .’ he said.

‘Winifred . . .’ he said.

Amelia held her breath.

Amelia held her breath.

‘I think . . .’

‘I think . . .’

Amelia’s heart was pounding.

Amelia’s heart was pounding.

‘That statue needs a clean,’ said Tangine as he closed the curtains.

‘That statue needs a clean,’ said Tangine as he closed the curtains.

‘Phew,’ Amelia breathed.

‘Phew,’ Amelia breathed.

‘MY ARM ’AIRS WON’T STOP TINGLING,’ said Florence rubbing her

‘MY ARM ’AIRS WON’T STOP TINGLING,’ said Florence rubbing her

biceps. ‘IT NEVER MEANS ANYFING GOOD . . .’

biceps. ‘IT NEVER MEANS ANYFING GOOD . . .’

‘Aargh!’ Grimaldi squeaked, pointing towards the horizon. ‘The sunrise! The Creatures of the Light could appear any minute!’

‘Aargh!’ Grimaldi squeaked, pointing towards the horizon. ‘The sunrise! The Creatures of the Light could appear any minute!’

‘But I can’t leave Squashy in there!’ cried Amelia.

‘But I can’t leave Squashy in there!’ cried Amelia.

Grimaldi put a hand on Amelia’s shoulder. ‘We’ll get him back, I promise.’ Then he looked at the sky. ‘But if we don’t hurry home we might bump into a—’

Grimaldi put a hand on Amelia’s shoulder. ‘We’ll get him back, I promise.’ Then he looked at the sky. ‘But if we don’t hurry home we might bump into a—’

‘UNICORN!’

‘UNICORN!’

shrieked Florence.

shrieked Florence.

Emerging from the edge of the Petrified

Emerging from the edge of the Petrified

Forest, fluttering its long sparkly eyelashes and swishing its rainbow tail, was a hideous Creature of the Light!

Forest, fluttering its long sparkly eyelashes and swishing its rainbow tail, was a hideous Creature of the Light!

‘Don’t let it eat me!’ screamed Grimaldi, hiding behind Florence.

‘Don’t let it eat me!’ screamed Grimaldi, hiding behind Florence.

The unicorn shook its rainbow mane, sending glitter flying everywhere.

The unicorn shook its rainbow mane, sending glitter flying everywhere.

‘MY EYES!’ shouted Florence.

‘MY EYES!’ shouted Florence.

‘Don’t look at it directly! Avoid the sparkly stuff!’ yelled Amelia.

‘Don’t look at it directly! Avoid the sparkly stuff!’ yelled Amelia.

Grimaldi held his scythe out in front of him, pointing it shakily at the unicorn.

Grimaldi held his scythe out in front of him, pointing it shakily at the unicorn.

‘G-g-get away from us, evil c-c-
creature!’ he stammered.

‘G-g-get away from us, evil c-c-
creature!’ he stammered.

The unicorn trotted forward slowly.

The unicorn trotted forward slowly.

‘SQUISH IT!’ said Florence.

‘SQUISH IT!’ said Florence.

Amelia could see that Grimaldi was trying very hard to be brave.

Amelia could see that Grimaldi was trying very hard to be brave.

Then the unicorn licked the end of the scythe – and it turned into a glittery sunflower. ‘AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGH!’ screamed Grimaldi, dropping it as if it was red hot.

Then the unicorn licked the end of the scythe – and it turned into a glittery sunflower. ‘AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGH!’ screamed Grimaldi, dropping it as if it was red hot.

The three friends ran as fast as they could into the Petrified Forest.

The three friends ran as fast as they could into the Petrified Forest.

Grimaldi yelped as his hood

Grimaldi yelped as his hood

a

got caught on a branch.

got caught on a branch.

Before Amelia could reach her friend to help him, a fluffy kitten with huge eyes and a ruffled collar swooped down. Amelia stopped dead. If I keep really still, it might go away, she thought.

Before Amelia could reach her friend to help him, a fluffy kitten with huge eyes and a ruffled collar swooped down. Amelia stopped dead. If I keep really still, it might go away, she thought.

But the tiny angel-kitten flew up to Amelia’s face and started licking her nose, making strangely musical meow sounds.

But the tiny angel-kitten flew up to Amelia’s face and started licking her nose, making strangely musical meow sounds.

Then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, a FAIRY appeared and flew towards Grimaldi.

Then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, a FAIRY appeared and flew towards Grimaldi.

‘AAARGGHHHH!

‘AAARGGHHHH!

The worst of them all!’ he screamed, just before the fairy began stroking his cheek.

The worst of them all!’ he screamed, just before the fairy began stroking his cheek.

‘Ameeeelia!’ Grimaldi was so scared that almost no sound came out.

‘Ameeeelia!’ Grimaldi was so scared that almost no sound came out.

Suddenly, Amelia heard a huge . . .

Suddenly, Amelia heard a huge . . .

SPLAT!

SPLAT!

She opened one eye. The fairy was gone.

She opened one eye. The fairy was gone.

‘YEAH!’ said Florence. ‘I AM THE MASTER OF FAIRY SQUASHING.’

‘YEAH!’ said Florence. ‘I AM THE MASTER OF FAIRY SQUASHING.’

The angel-kitten squealed and fluttered away into the beams of sunlight.

The angel-kitten squealed and fluttered away into the beams of sunlight.

‘QUICK, IN ’ERE!’ said Florence, leading Amelia and Grimaldi into a hole in the ground. They covered the entrance with twigs and dry leaves.

‘QUICK, IN ’ERE!’ said Florence, leading Amelia and Grimaldi into a hole in the ground. They covered the entrance with twigs and dry leaves.

‘YOU GUYS WAIT ’ERE. I’M GONNA DIG MY WAY THROUGH TO MY AUNT’S PIT. SHE LIVES NEARBY.’

‘YOU GUYS WAIT ’ERE. I’M GONNA DIG MY WAY THROUGH TO MY AUNT’S PIT. SHE LIVES NEARBY.’

‘Sorry about your scythe, Grimaldi,’ said Amelia, catching her breath. ‘You were really brave back there.’

‘Sorry about your scythe, Grimaldi,’ said Amelia, catching her breath. ‘You were really brave back there.’

‘And I’m sorry we didn’t save Squashy,’ said Grimaldi, putting an arm round Amelia. ‘I promise we’ll get him back.’

‘And I’m sorry we didn’t save Squashy,’ said Grimaldi, putting an arm round Amelia. ‘I promise we’ll get him back.’

Amelia laid her head on Grimaldi’s shoulder. Florence stopped digging and shuffled her way back over.

Amelia laid her head on Grimaldi’s shoulder. Florence stopped digging and shuffled her way back over.

‘IT’LL ALL BE OK,’ she said, and wrapped her big hairy arms round them.

‘IT’LL ALL BE OK,’ she said, and wrapped her big hairy arms round them.

‘I really hope so,’ said Amelia quietly and hugged her friends tight.

‘I really hope so,’ said Amelia quietly and hugged her friends tight.

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 12

RIGHT IN THE HAIR

RIGHT IN THE HAIR

‘CURLY WORMS OR STRAIGHT?’ asked Florence’s aunt.

‘CURLY WORMS OR STRAIGHT?’ asked Florence’s aunt.

‘BOTH!’ said Florence, holding out her plate. ‘AUNT MAVIS MAKES THE BEST WORMS ON TOAST FOR BREAKFAST. YOU SHOULD TRY ’EM, AMELIA!’

‘BOTH!’ said Florence, holding out her plate. ‘AUNT MAVIS MAKES THE BEST WORMS ON TOAST FOR BREAKFAST. YOU SHOULD TRY ’EM, AMELIA!’

Amelia was so tired she could barely move. She’d spent all day worrying about Squashy, instead of sleeping. ‘I’m not very hungry, sorry . . .’

Amelia was so tired she could barely move. She’d spent all day worrying about Squashy, instead of sleeping. ‘I’m not very hungry, sorry . . .’

‘YOU GOT TO MAKE SURE YOU EAT,’ said Florence’s Aunt Mavis. ‘OVERWISE YOU WON’T ’AVE ANY ENERGY FER SCHOOL.’

‘YOU GOT TO MAKE SURE YOU EAT,’ said Florence’s Aunt Mavis. ‘OVERWISE YOU WON’T ’AVE ANY ENERGY FER SCHOOL.’

‘AUNT MAVIS IS ALWAYS RIGHT,’ said Florence through a mouthful of worms.

‘AUNT MAVIS IS ALWAYS RIGHT,’ said Florence through a mouthful of worms.

‘Grieving gobblepots!’ said Amelia. ‘I need to get home before Mum discovers I’ve been out all day!’

‘Grieving gobblepots!’ said Amelia. ‘I need to get home before Mum discovers I’ve been out all day!’

‘IT’S OK,’ said Aunt Mavis. ‘WOOO’S COVERING FER YOU. RIGHT NICE CHAP.’

‘IT’S OK,’ said Aunt Mavis. ‘WOOO’S COVERING FER YOU. RIGHT NICE CHAP.’

Grimaldi looked worried.

Grimaldi looked worried.

‘AND DON’T WORRY, GRIMALDI. I TOLD YER GRIMPAPA YOU WERE DEALING WIV A TOAD-SQUASHING DISASTER. FIFTEEN DEAD. FIVE WIVOUT LEGS.’

‘AND DON’T WORRY, GRIMALDI. I TOLD YER GRIMPAPA YOU WERE DEALING WIV A TOAD-SQUASHING DISASTER. FIFTEEN DEAD. FIVE WIVOUT LEGS.’

Grimaldi relaxed. ‘Ah, thank you, Mavis.’

Grimaldi relaxed. ‘Ah, thank you, Mavis.’

Amelia managed to eat a few spoonfuls of worms. She was about to grab a handful for Squashy to munch on later, but stopped and felt her heart sink again. Grimaldi scooped up some worms and slipped them into Amelia’s backpack.

Amelia managed to eat a few spoonfuls of worms. She was about to grab a handful for Squashy to munch on later, but stopped and felt her heart sink again. Grimaldi scooped up some worms and slipped them into Amelia’s backpack.

‘Squashy’s going to be hungry when we
get him back . . .’ He smiled, and the three

‘Squashy’s going to be hungry when we get him back . . .’ He smiled, and the three

friends set off for school.

friends set off for school.

Amelia waited at the entrance of the academy for Tangine. He was late, again. Florence and Grimaldi insisted on staying with her.

Amelia waited at the entrance of the academy for Tangine. He was late, again. Florence and Grimaldi insisted on staying with her.

‘It’s OK, guys, I don’t want you getting into trouble too,’ said Amelia.

‘It’s OK, guys, I don’t want you getting into trouble too,’ said Amelia.

‘NAH, IT’S FINE,’ said Florence. ‘WE’RE STICKING BY YOU.’

‘NAH, IT’S FINE,’ said Florence. ‘WE’RE STICKING BY YOU.’

‘That’s what friends are for, right?’ Grimaldi smiled – but Amelia could tell he was a bit worried about being told off.

‘That’s what friends are for, right?’ Grimaldi smiled – but Amelia could tell he was a bit worried about being told off.

Amelia turned to see the scraggly vulture with three eyes landing with a clatter.

Amelia turned to see the scraggly vulture with three eyes landing with a clatter.

Tangine jumped down from its back and sauntered over to Amelia and her friends.

Tangine jumped down from its back and sauntered over to Amelia and her friends.

‘What are wannabe-Death and the beast doing here?’ he said, folding his arms.

‘What are wannabe-Death and the beast doing here?’ he said, folding his arms.

Florence growled.

Florence growled.

‘Don’t call Florence that,’ said Amelia in an unsteady voice. ‘And where’s Squashy?’

‘Don’t call Florence that,’ said Amelia in an unsteady voice. ‘And where’s Squashy?’

‘Back at the palace, silly,’ said Tangine. ‘You shouldn’t bring pets to school! I don’t know how you ever got away with it.’

‘Back at the palace, silly,’ said Tangine. ‘You shouldn’t bring pets to school! I don’t know how you ever got away with it.’

‘You’re being really mean,’ said Grimaldi in a small voice. Confrontation was one of his biggest fears.

‘You’re being really mean,’ said Grimaldi in a small voice. Confrontation was one of his biggest fears.

‘Garibaldi, isn’t it?’ said Tangine, raising an eyebrow.

‘Garibaldi, isn’t it?’ said Tangine, raising an eyebrow.

‘No, it’s Grim—’ Grimaldi began.

‘No, it’s Grim—’ Grimaldi began.

‘It must be hard juggling school and death and sneaking around, eh?’ Tangine interrupted. Then he clapped twice. ‘SHAUN! Bring the thing . . .’

‘It must be hard juggling school and death and sneaking around, eh?’ Tangine interrupted. Then he clapped twice. ‘SHAUN! Bring the thing . . .’

A Mummy Maid came running over and held up a wilting glittery sunflower that had half morphed back into a scythe.

A Mummy Maid came running over and held up a wilting glittery sunflower that had half morphed back into a scythe.

Tangine didn’t even seem to notice all the disgusting glitter. He just dropped the sunflower scythe on to the ground in front of Grimaldi. Then he turned to Amelia. ‘You look ever so tired. Up all day, were we?’

Tangine didn’t even seem to notice all the disgusting glitter. He just dropped the sunflower scythe on to the ground in front of Grimaldi. Then he turned to Amelia. ‘You look ever so tired. Up all day, were we?’

Amelia felt a wave of panic.

Amelia felt a wave of panic.

‘And finally if it isn’t the beast,’ Tangine sneered at Florence.

‘And finally if it isn’t the beast,’ Tangine sneered at Florence.

‘I TOLD YOU I AM NOT A BEAST. I’M A RARE BREED OF—’ Florence started.

‘I TOLD YOU I AM NOT A BEAST. I’M A RARE BREED OF—’ Florence started.

But before she could finish Tangine held up a handful of long white hairs under her nose.

But before she could finish Tangine held up a handful of long white hairs under her nose.

‘These were found in the palace grounds when I woke up this evening . . . They are the hairs of a rare breed of yeti.’ He raised both eyebrows. ‘So it would be very

‘These were found in the palace grounds when I woke up this evening . . . They are the hairs of a rare breed of yeti.’ He raised both eyebrows. ‘So it would be very

unfortunate if you were this particular breed of yeti, hmmm?’ Tangine frowned. ‘Trespassing in the palace grounds is a punishable offence. So, what’s it going to be?’

unfortunate if you were this particular breed of yeti, hmmm?’ Tangine frowned. ‘Trespassing in the palace grounds is a punishable offence. So, what’s it going to be?’

For the first time in her life, Florence spoke at a normal volume. ‘Beast. I’m a . . . beast.’

For the first time in her life, Florence spoke at a normal volume. ‘Beast. I’m a . . . beast.’

‘Oh, then these hairs can’t possibly belong to you . . . beast,’ said Tangine sprinkling Florence’s hairs over Grimaldi’s head.

‘Oh, then these hairs can’t possibly belong to you . . . beast,’ said Tangine sprinkling Florence’s hairs over Grimaldi’s head.

‘AMELIA FANG!’ Miss Inspine burst out of the Catacomb Academy entrance. ‘Where is the prince? Oh, bothersome bogies, if we’ve lost—’

‘AMELIA FANG!’ Miss Inspine burst out of the Catacomb Academy entrance. ‘Where is the prince? Oh, bothersome bogies, if we’ve lost—’

She caught sight of Tangine and heaved such a big sigh of relief that her skull fell off.

She caught sight of Tangine and heaved such a big sigh of relief that her skull fell off.

‘Florence, Grimaldi, why aren’t you in class?’ Her headless skeleton put a hand on its hip. ‘This is unacceptable! And, Amelia Fang, you’ve made the prince late for class YET again! I’m starting to think Frankie would make a better host, you know . . .’

‘Florence, Grimaldi, why aren’t you in class?’ Her headless skeleton put a hand on its hip. ‘This is unacceptable! And, Amelia Fang, you’ve made the prince late for class YET again! I’m starting to think Frankie would make a better host, you know . . .’

‘Sorry, Miss Inspine, it won’t happen again,’ Amelia said, through gritted teeth.

‘Sorry, Miss Inspine, it won’t happen again,’ Amelia said, through gritted teeth.

‘Yeah, Ameeelia,’ said Tangine, folding his arms, ‘you’re meant to be setting a good

‘Yeah, Ameeelia,’ said Tangine, folding his arms, ‘you’re meant to be setting a good

example. I guess you would pick up bad habits hanging out with a beast.’

example. I guess you would pick up bad habits hanging out with a beast.’

And then Florence punched him.

And then Florence punched him.

Right in the hair.

Right in the hair.

Miss Inspine was so shocked that her whole skeleton disconnected into a big pile of bones.

Miss Inspine was so shocked that her whole skeleton disconnected into a big pile of bones.

The Mummy Maid called Shaun picked Tangine up and carried him inside.

The Mummy Maid called Shaun picked Tangine up and carried him inside.

‘Aaaaargh! Is he OK?’ Miss Inspine spluttered from the ground. Then she glared at Amelia, Florence and Grimaldi. ‘That’s SIX months detention for all three of you! And get to class, NOW!’

‘Aaaaargh! Is he OK?’ Miss Inspine spluttered from the ground. Then she glared at Amelia, Florence and Grimaldi. ‘That’s SIX months detention for all three of you! And get to class, NOW!’

Once Miss Inspine had managed to reconnect her bones, and Tangine had spent an hour being pampered by the Mummy Maids to get his hair back into shape, the class settled down ready for their Repugnant Recipes lesson.

Once Miss Inspine had managed to reconnect her bones, and Tangine had spent an hour being pampered by the Mummy Maids to get his hair back into shape, the class settled down ready for their Repugnant Recipes lesson.

‘Tonight, class,’ said Miss Inspine, ‘you will be making Fingernail-clipping Cakes and Toe Jam. Remember to dig deep under those toenails and get out all of the goodness!’

‘Tonight, class,’ said Miss Inspine, ‘you will be making Fingernail-clipping Cakes and Toe Jam. Remember to dig deep under those toenails and get out all of the goodness!’

Amelia, Florence, Grimaldi and Tangine sat in silence. The air was thick with tension and the smell of feet.

Amelia, Florence, Grimaldi and Tangine sat in silence. The air was thick with tension and the smell of feet.

‘Squashy and I are having such fun, you know,’ said Tangine, twiddling his thumbs.

‘Squashy and I are having such fun, you know,’ said Tangine, twiddling his thumbs.

‘We even played hide-and-seek together.’

‘We even played hide-and-seek together.’

Amelia was too angry to speak.

Amelia was too angry to speak.

Tangine frowned. ‘Squashy LOVES the palace. There’s sooo much room to bounce around!’

Tangine frowned. ‘Squashy LOVES the palace. There’s sooo much room to bounce around!’

Amelia stared down at the bowl of toenail clippings. Her heart ached.

Amelia stared down at the bowl of toenail clippings. Her heart ached.

‘How can you miss that useless pumpkin so much?’ Tangine snapped.

‘How can you miss that useless pumpkin so much?’ Tangine snapped.

Amelia’s eyes were watery and her voice was wobbly. ‘Because I love him more than anything,’ she said quietly. ‘You wouldn’t understand, though, because you only seem to care about yourself.’

Amelia’s eyes were watery and her voice was wobbly. ‘Because I love him more than anything,’ she said quietly. ‘You wouldn’t understand, though, because you only seem to care about yourself.’

Tangine looked shocked and he started twiddling his thumbs even more furiously. Then he sat up straight and folded his arms.

Tangine looked shocked and he started twiddling his thumbs even more furiously. Then he sat up straight and folded his arms.

‘Oh, come on! Your mum and dad are rich. Just ask them to buy you a new one. That’s what I would do.’

‘Oh, come on! Your mum and dad are rich. Just ask them to buy you a new one. That’s what I would do.’

Amelia’s voice was shaking. ‘That is because you don’t know the TRUE value of things,’ she said. ‘You’re a SPOILT SPROUT!’

Amelia’s voice was shaking. ‘That is because you don’t know the TRUE value of things,’ she said. ‘You’re a SPOILT SPROUT!’

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 13

INTESTINE!

INTESTINE!

Amelia arrived home feeling tired and fed
up after an hour of scrubbing goblin slime
off the classroom walls. She closed her bedroom door behind her and leant against the cold wooden frame. Then she gave a huge sigh, and slid down to the floor.

Amelia arrived home feeling tired and fed up after an hour of scrubbing goblin slime off the classroom walls. She closed her bedroom door behind her and leant against the cold wooden frame. Then she gave a huge sigh, and slid down to the floor.

‘Miss Amelia,’ came Wooo’s voice from behind the door.

‘Miss Amelia,’ came Wooo’s voice from behind the door.

‘Come in, Wooo,’ said Amelia wearily.

‘Come in, Wooo,’ said Amelia wearily.

Wooo appeared holding a tray of Amelia’s favourite Tongue-twister sandwiches.

Wooo appeared holding a tray of Amelia’s favourite Tongue-twister sandwiches.

‘Aw, thanks, Wooo,’ she said taking a sandwich. She hadn’t realised how hungry she was. ‘Oh, Wooo.’ She chewed a mouthful of sandwich. ‘I don’t know what

‘Aw, thanks, Wooo,’ she said taking a sandwich. She hadn’t realised how hungry she was. ‘Oh, Wooo.’ She chewed a mouthful of sandwich. ‘I don’t know what

to do! I just want Squashy back.’

to do! I just want Squashy back.’

‘Hmmm,’ said Wooo adjusting his monocle. ‘Can’t you visit your “new friend” at the palace? Then how you spend your visit is up to you . . .’

‘Hmmm,’ said Wooo adjusting his monocle. ‘Can’t you visit your “new friend” at the palace? Then how you spend your visit is up to you . . .’

Amelia stopped chewing. ‘Wooo, you are a genius!’

Amelia stopped chewing. ‘Wooo, you are a genius!’

‘You know where I am if you need me.’ Wooo winked, disappearing through the wall.

‘You know where I am if you need me.’ Wooo winked, disappearing through the wall.

Amelia rushed out of her bedroom and raced along the long corridor. ‘Muuuuum!’ she called. ‘Where are you? I need to ask you something!’

Amelia rushed out of her bedroom and raced along the long corridor. ‘Muuuuum!’ she called. ‘Where are you? I need to ask you something!’

‘Yes, darkling?’ came her mother’s voice. ‘I’m in my dressing room!’

‘Yes, darkling?’ came her mother’s voice. ‘I’m in my dressing room!’

‘Which one?’ asked Amelia, looking at the rows of doors.

‘Which one?’ asked Amelia, looking at the rows of doors.

‘Last door on the left!’ her mum called.

‘Last door on the left!’ her mum called.

Amelia ran to the end of the corridor and opened a shiny black door. She stepped inside. ‘Mum—’

Amelia ran to the end of the corridor and opened a shiny black door. She stepped inside. ‘Mum—’

‘Oh . . .’ Count Drake was hanging upside down from a shelf, engrossed in a crossword puzzle.

‘Oh . . .’ Count Drake was hanging upside down from a shelf, engrossed in a crossword puzzle.

‘INTESTINE!’ he yelled and fell off the shelf into a pile of crossword books.

‘INTESTINE!’ he yelled and fell off the shelf into a pile of crossword books.

Amelia shook her head and stepped back into the corridor, closing the door behind her.

Amelia shook her head and stepped back into the corridor, closing the door behind her.

‘MUM! The doors have moved again, where are you?’ she called out.

‘MUM! The doors have moved again, where are you?’ she called out.

‘Try the next floor up . . .’ her mum’s voice echoed.

‘Try the next floor up . . .’ her mum’s voice echoed.

Amelia was growing impatient. ‘I just wanted to ask if I could visit Tangine at the palace,’ she called out. ‘Y’know, to hang out . . . like friends do?’

Amelia was growing impatient. ‘I just wanted to ask if I could visit Tangine at the palace,’ she called out. ‘Y’know, to hang out . . . like friends do?’

Suddenly, a door at the other end of the corridor burst open and Countess Frivoleeta emerged, wearing the frilliest dress Amelia had ever seen. Amelia tried not to giggle.

Suddenly, a door at the other end of the corridor burst open and Countess Frivoleeta emerged, wearing the frilliest dress Amelia had ever seen. Amelia tried not to giggle.

Her mum pranced down the corridor, making the frills flap like spare body parts.

Her mum pranced down the corridor, making the frills flap like spare body parts.

‘Amelia, my little globule of hope, what a delightful idea!’ said Countess Frivoleeta.

‘Amelia, my little globule of hope, what a delightful idea!’ said Countess Frivoleeta.

‘So, I can go?’ said Amelia.

‘So, I can go?’ said Amelia.

‘Of course! Spend as much time at the palace as you like. Oh, I’m so glad you and the prince
are friends now. You never know, maybe one day you’ll get—’

‘Of course! Spend as much time at the palace as you like. Oh, I’m so glad you and the prince are friends now. You never know, maybe one day you’ll get—’

‘OK, Mum, BYE!’ Amelia slipped away quickly before her mum could finish.
She slid down the banister of the spiral staircase, feeling more hopeful. She was finally going to get Squashy back!

‘OK, Mum, BYE!’ Amelia slipped away quickly before her mum could finish. She slid down the banister of the spiral staircase, feeling more hopeful. She was finally going to get Squashy back!

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 14

KING VLADIMIR’S SECRET

KING VLADIMIR’S SECRET

When Amelia arrived at the palace, a Gremlin Guard came rushing over.

When Amelia arrived at the palace, a Gremlin Guard came rushing over.

‘What’s your business ’ere?’ he grunted.

‘What’s your business ’ere?’ he grunted.

‘Um, I’m here to see Tangine. We go to school together. The king knows my dad, Count Drake, really well. I’m Amelia Fang . . .’ She held her breath while the Gremlin Guard scrunched up his face, looking at Amelia suspiously. The silence seemed to last forever.

‘Um, I’m here to see Tangine. We go to school together. The king knows my dad, Count Drake, really well. I’m Amelia Fang . . .’ She held her breath while the Gremlin Guard scrunched up his face, looking at Amelia suspiously. The silence seemed to last forever.

‘Very well,’ he barked at last. ‘This way.’

‘Very well,’ he barked at last. ‘This way.’

The guard led Amelia across the courtyard towards a huge golden door. It took fifteen

The guard led Amelia across the courtyard towards a huge golden door. It took fifteen

Mummy Maids to pull the door open. Just as Amelia slipped inside, a loud scream rang out. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

Mummy Maids to pull the door open. Just as Amelia slipped inside, a loud scream rang out. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

Amelia jumped in fright.

Amelia jumped in fright.

‘The Scream Tea is ready!’ shouted the Mummy Maids. ‘We will prepare you a cup. Why are you here, young vampire?’

‘The Scream Tea is ready!’ shouted the Mummy Maids. ‘We will prepare you a cup. Why are you here, young vampire?’

‘I’ve come to see Tangine,’ Amelia said.

‘I’ve come to see Tangine,’ Amelia said.

‘He’s just having his nightly elbow exfoliation. You can wait in here.’ A Mummy Maid led Amelia into the drawing room and then shuffled out, closing the door behind her.

‘He’s just having his nightly elbow exfoliation. You can wait in here.’ A Mummy Maid led Amelia into the drawing room and then shuffled out, closing the door behind her.

Amelia gazed at her surroundings. In the middle of the vast room was an enormous black sofa with a row of sharp teeth. The walls were lined with golden bookcases and fancy cabinets.

Amelia gazed at her surroundings. In the middle of the vast room was an enormous black sofa with a row of sharp teeth. The walls were lined with golden bookcases and fancy cabinets.

In the corner stood a statue of Tangine, which was much taller than the real thing.

In the corner stood a statue of Tangine, which was much taller than the real thing.

Amelia reached up and poked it on the nose. Something creaked – and a wall moved slowly to the left, revealing a narrow doorway.

Amelia reached up and poked it on the nose. Something creaked – and a wall moved slowly to the left, revealing a narrow doorway.

Amelia gasped. A quick look won’t hurt, she thought. She checked to make sure the coast was clear and stepped through.

Amelia gasped. A quick look won’t hurt, she thought. She checked to make sure the coast was clear and stepped through.

Inside, the walls were covered with framed portraits and shelf upon shelf of ancient-looking books. Amelia walked over to a wooden desk covered in a thick layer of dust.

Inside, the walls were covered with framed portraits and shelf upon shelf of ancient-looking books. Amelia walked over to a wooden desk covered in a thick layer of dust.

There was a leather-bound book on the

There was a leather-bound book on the

desk, with the corner of something sticking out from the crinkled pages. Amelia slid it out, then gasped again. It was a photograph. Taking a deep breath, Amelia stared down at the image in her shaking hand.

desk, with the corner of something sticking out from the crinkled pages. Amelia slid it out, then gasped again. It was a photograph. Taking a deep breath, Amelia stared down at the image in her shaking hand.

The man in the picture was King Vladimir. But a much younger and happier King Vladimir. He was holding a tiny baby, who Amelia guessed must be Tangine. Next to the king hovered a small, shimmering lady with white flowing hair and GLITTER all over her big patterned . . . FAIRY WINGS.

The man in the picture was King Vladimir. But a much younger and happier King Vladimir. He was holding a tiny baby, who Amelia guessed must be Tangine. Next to the king hovered a small, shimmering lady with white flowing hair and GLITTER all over her big patterned . . . FAIRY WINGS.

There was no denying it. She was a terrifying Creature of the Light!

There was no denying it. She was a terrifying Creature of the Light!

‘Pottering Pumpkins!’ Amelia shuddered. ‘This can only mean one thing . . .’

‘Pottering Pumpkins!’ Amelia shuddered. ‘This can only mean one thing . . .’

Amelia looked closer at baby Tangine. His hair was white and sparkling, and on his back was a pair of tiny fairy wings. ‘Tangine is half Creature of the Light!’ she breathed.

Amelia looked closer at baby Tangine. His hair was white and sparkling, and on his back was a pair of tiny fairy wings. ‘Tangine is half Creature of the Light!’ she breathed.

Amelia picked up the book that had held the photograph. She wiped the front cover with her sleeve. The words

Amelia picked up the book that had held the photograph. She wiped the front cover with her sleeve. The words

Vlad’s Book of Special Memories

Vlad’s Book of Special Memories

appeared in swirling golden letters. Amelia’s heart was pounding. She opened the diary carefully. Inside, she found more photos of King Vladimir and the fairy.

appeared in swirling golden letters. Amelia’s heart was pounding. She opened the diary carefully. Inside, she found more photos of King Vladimir and the fairy.

Then, a few pages in, Amelia came across some diary entries.

Then, a few pages in, Amelia came across some diary entries.

I am completely and utterly head over heels in love. Today, I’m going to ask Fairyweather if she will marry me.

I am completely and utterly head over heels in love. Today, I’m going to ask Fairyweather if she will marry me.

Amelia’s eyes widened.

Amelia’s eyes widened.

I’ve made us a picnic to enjoy in the Petrified Forest at dusk. She said she’d try

I’ve made us a picnic to enjoy in the Petrified Forest at dusk. She said she’d try

some Grilled Guts as long as I’d try some Sweet Sparkle Swirls. To be honest, I’d love anything Fairyweather made me. She’s the most kind-hearted creature I’ve ever known.

some Grilled Guts as long as I’d try some Sweet Sparkle Swirls. To be honest, I’d love anything Fairyweather made me. She’s the most kind-hearted creature I’ve ever known.

Amelia turned the page, to find more pictures of King Vladimir and the fairy – who, Amelia realised, must be Fairyweather. The more Amelia looked at the fairy, the less scary she seemed. She had a kind, happy face – nothing like the awful fairies in the books Amelia had read at school.

Amelia turned the page, to find more pictures of King Vladimir and the fairy – who, Amelia realised, must be Fairyweather. The more Amelia looked at the fairy, the less scary she seemed. She had a kind, happy face – nothing like the awful fairies in the books Amelia had read at school.

Today Fairyweather and I got married by the Wishing Well of Well-Wishes in the Meadow of Loveliness. The Wishing Well was rather rude, and splashed water at me, but I was far too happy to care! I want to announce our love to everyone, but

Today Fairyweather and I got married by the Wishing Well of Well-Wishes in the Meadow of Loveliness. The Wishing Well was rather rude, and splashed water at me, but I was far too happy to care! I want to announce our love to everyone, but

Fairyweather is worried she won’t be accepted. The Nocturnians still believe that Creatures of the Light are terrifying and dangerous. I can’t blame them. We’ve been taught to fear the Creatures of the Light for generations. But now I know the truth. I just wish I could prove it to the rest of Nocturnia. I can’t even tell my bestfriend, Drake.

Fairyweather is worried she won’t be accepted. The Nocturnians still believe that Creatures of the Light are terrifying and dangerous. I can’t blame them. We’ve been taught to fear the Creatures of the Light for generations. But now I know the truth. I just wish I could prove it to the rest of Nocturnia. I can’t even tell my bestfriend, Drake.

Amelia sat still, unable to turn the page.

Amelia sat still, unable to turn the page.

All her life she had believed that Creatures of the Light were frightful creatures that wanted to cause Nocturnians harm. She had been just as scared of them as everyone else.

All her life she had believed that Creatures of the Light were frightful creatures that wanted to cause Nocturnians harm. She had been just as scared of them as everyone else.

We are so happy! We’ve had the squidgiest, ugliest baby and I am overwhelmed with love! He looks a bit like a squashed pumpkin right now, but I’m sure he’ll take after his beautiful mother and grow into a dashing young man! We’ve decided to call him Tangine Fairyweather La Floofle the First. But to the rest of Nocturnia, he shall be known as Prince Tangine the First. The kingdom

We are so happy! We’ve had the squidgiest, ugliest baby and I am overwhelmed with love! He looks a bit like a squashed pumpkin right now, but I’m sure he’ll take after his beautiful mother and grow into a dashing young man! We’ve decided to call him Tangine Fairyweather La Floofle the First. But to the rest of Nocturnia, he shall be known as Prince Tangine the First. The kingdom

can’t know about his mot her just yet.

can’t know about his mot her just yet.

The next ten pages were full of photos of Tangine as a baby, then a toddler.

The next ten pages were full of photos of Tangine as a baby, then a toddler.

Amelia thought he actually looked quite cute without that smug grin plastered all over his face. He was hugging his parents in almost every photograph. Amelia wondered how such a sweet little boy could have turned into such a mean, spoilt sprout.

Amelia thought he actually looked quite cute without that smug grin plastered all over his face. He was hugging his parents in almost every photograph. Amelia wondered how such a sweet little boy could have turned into such a mean, spoilt sprout.

She read on . . .

She read on . . .

I can barely write. Fairyweather has gone. She didn’t even leave a note.

I can barely write. Fairyweather has gone. She didn’t even leave a note.

Everything was perfect. We went for a lovely morning walk yesterday. She was so excited to finally show Nocturnia the truth about the Creatures of the Light. But later that night, I couldn’t find her anywhere . . .

Everything was perfect. We went for a lovely morning walk yesterday. She was so excited to finally show Nocturnia the truth about the Creatures of the Light. But later that night, I couldn’t find her anywhere . . .

I just don’t understand. What will I tell poor little Tangine? I have to find her . . .

I just don’t understand. What will I tell poor little Tangine? I have to find her . . .

The words looked like drops of water had smudged them. The pictures on the next pages showed Tangine looking sad and lonely. The king wasn’t in any of them. Instead, Tangine was surrounded by Mummy Maids, and in every photo he had more and more toys. As the years went on, his face

The words looked like drops of water had smudged them. The pictures on the next pages showed Tangine looking sad and lonely. The king wasn’t in any of them. Instead, Tangine was surrounded by Mummy Maids, and in every photo he had more and more toys. As the years went on, his face

became dark and troubled. His fairy wings were covered with a cape, and his hair was dyed, to hide the sparkles.

became dark and troubled. His fairy wings were covered with a cape, and his hair was dyed, to hide the sparkles.

We’ve been invited to the Fangs’ Barbaric Ball again this year, but I can’t bring myself to go. I need to find Fairyweather! The pain is still as fresh as last night’s cabbage froth.

We’ve been invited to the Fangs’ Barbaric Ball again this year, but I can’t bring myself to go. I need to find Fairyweather! The pain is still as fresh as last night’s cabbage froth.

I’ve been searching for her every hour of every night while the Kingdom of the Light sleeps. If I risk going during the day, I’ll be spotted. It appears that the Creatures of the Light are just as scared of us as we are of them.

I’ve been searching for her every hour of every night while the Kingdom of the Light sleeps. If I risk going during the day, I’ll be spotted. It appears that the Creatures of the Light are just as scared of us as we are of them.

But I won’t give up until I find Fairyweather. The Mummy Maids are taking care of Tangine in my absence. I fear for him, though. I don’t want him to be judged for his Creature-of-the-Light blood.

But I won’t give up until I find Fairyweather. The Mummy Maids are taking care of Tangine in my absence. I fear for him, though. I don’t want him to be judged for his Creature-of-the-Light blood.

Maybe I’ve got Tangine all wrong, thought Amelia. It must have been hard growing up without a mum, and his dad doesn’t seem to spend any time with him. Amelia knew how lonely that could be. Her dad would rather do crosswords than play with her. But at least she had Squashy, and her friends. Who did Tangine have?

Maybe I’ve got Tangine all wrong, thought Amelia. It must have been hard growing up without a mum, and his dad doesn’t seem to spend any time with him. Amelia knew how lonely that could be. Her dad would rather do crosswords than play with her. But at least she had Squashy, and her friends. Who did Tangine have?

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 15

FRIEND

FRIEND

‘Amelia Fang is here?’ Tangine’s voice came from the drawing room. He sounded surprised – and pleased.

‘Amelia Fang is here?’ Tangine’s voice came from the drawing room. He sounded surprised – and pleased.

Amelia quickly closed the diary and peered around the secret doorway.

Amelia quickly closed the diary and peered around the secret doorway.

Tangine was sitting on the sofa, swinging his legs.

Tangine was sitting on the sofa, swinging his legs.

‘PAULA!’ he yelled.

‘PAULA!’ he yelled.

A Mummy Maid came running in.

A Mummy Maid came running in.

‘You’re sure Amelia Fang is here to see me?’ he asked.

‘You’re sure Amelia Fang is here to see me?’ he asked.

‘That’s what she said,’ replied the Mummy Maid.

‘That’s what she said,’ replied the Mummy Maid.

‘Hmm. Maybe she wants to be friends after all . . .’ He smiled. It wasn’t a sneer

‘Hmm. Maybe she wants to be friends after all . . .’ He smiled. It wasn’t a sneer

or a smirk. It was a real smile. Amelia felt a bit sorry for him again. He looked very small and lonely sitting in the middle of the huge room.

or a smirk. It was a real smile. Amelia felt a bit sorry for him again. He looked very small and lonely sitting in the middle of the huge room.

But she mustn’t forget why she was here. She had to get Squashy back.

But she mustn’t forget why she was here. She had to get Squashy back.

‘So where IS she?’ Tangine called. He slid off the chair and wandered out of the room.

‘So where IS she?’ Tangine called. He slid off the chair and wandered out of the room.

Amelia ran back in, and jumped on to the sofa.

Amelia ran back in, and jumped on to the sofa.

‘OUCH!’ she yelped as the sofa bit her bottom.

‘OUCH!’ she yelped as the sofa bit her bottom.

Tangine’s head popped round the door. ‘Oh, there you are,’ he said, looking confused.

Tangine’s head popped round the door. ‘Oh, there you are,’ he said, looking confused.

‘Er, hi!’ said Amelia.

‘Er, hi!’ said Amelia.

She was still trying to piece everything together, but it was all slowly becoming clear: the reason Tangine was so short while the king was so tall; the glitter he’d had on his shoe when he visited Amelia’s house; and the fact that he hadn’t minded holding Grimaldi’s glittery sunflower scythe.

She was still trying to piece everything together, but it was all slowly becoming clear: the reason Tangine was so short while the king was so tall; the glitter he’d had on his shoe when he visited Amelia’s house; and the fact that he hadn’t minded holding Grimaldi’s glittery sunflower scythe.

‘I didn’t expect you to visit me,’ said Tangine, interrupting her thoughts.

‘I didn’t expect you to visit me,’ said Tangine, interrupting her thoughts.

‘Well, since we’re at school together I thought it would be . . . fun,’ said Amelia, faking a smile.

‘Well, since we’re at school together I thought it would be . . . fun,’ said Amelia, faking a smile.

Tangine’s eyes lit up.

Tangine’s eyes lit up.

‘Umm, where’s Squashy?’ Amelia asked.

‘Umm, where’s Squashy?’ Amelia asked.

Tangine frowned. ‘He’s having his dinner

Tangine frowned. ‘He’s having his dinner

right now.’ Then his expression changed. ‘How about we play a board game? I have a new one called Full Moonopoly. Or we could play Bat Trap! That’s a good one. No fun to play by yourself, but now you’re here . . .’ He started rummaging around in a cabinet.

right now.’ Then his expression changed. ‘How about we play a board game? I have a new one called Full Moonopoly. Or we could play Bat Trap! That’s a good one. No fun to play by yourself, but now you’re here . . .’ He started rummaging around in a cabinet.

‘Maybe we could wait for Squashy?’ Amelia asked hopefully. ‘He could join in . . .’

‘Maybe we could wait for Squashy?’ Amelia asked hopefully. ‘He could join in . . .’

Tangine emerged from the cabinet and started twiddling his thumbs. ‘I thought you came here to hang out with ME, Amelia . . .’ He was frowning again.

Tangine emerged from the cabinet and started twiddling his thumbs. ‘I thought you came here to hang out with ME, Amelia . . .’ He was frowning again.

‘Where is Squashy, Tangine?’ said Amelia, beginning to lose her patience. ‘I really want to see him!’

‘Where is Squashy, Tangine?’ said Amelia, beginning to lose her patience. ‘I really want to see him!’

‘Squashy, Squashy, Squashy,’ said Tangine in a high-pitched voice. His face was going red. ‘It’s all about Squashy! You didn’t

‘Squashy, Squashy, Squashy,’ said Tangine in a high-pitched voice. His face was going red. ‘It’s all about Squashy! You didn’t

come here to see me at all, did you?’ said Tangine. ‘You just came here to take Squashy back!’ He folded his arms. ‘I thought you wanted to be my friend.’

come here to see me at all, did you?’ said Tangine. ‘You just came here to take Squashy back!’ He folded his arms. ‘I thought you wanted to be my friend.’

Amelia looked at the floor. Any sympathy she’d felt towards Tangine after reading the diary was draining away.

Amelia looked at the floor. Any sympathy she’d felt towards Tangine after reading the diary was draining away.

‘You should go,’ said Tangine. ‘Mindy will see you out.’

‘You should go,’ said Tangine. ‘Mindy will see you out.’

Amelia sighed. Deep down in that dark, spoilt boy there HAD to be some kindness. SOMEWHERE. She thought about the photographs of the happy toddler. But Amelia couldn’t let herself feel sorry for Tangine. She needed to speak to Florence and Grimaldi. They would help her come up with a new plan to rescue Squashy.

Amelia sighed. Deep down in that dark, spoilt boy there HAD to be some kindness. SOMEWHERE. She thought about the photographs of the happy toddler. But Amelia couldn’t let herself feel sorry for Tangine. She needed to speak to Florence and Grimaldi. They would help her come up with a new plan to rescue Squashy.

Back at the Fang Mansion, Amelia tiptoed up the staircase to the fourth floor and found the green door with its mouldy handle. She opened the door, jumped straight into the little boat on the River Styx and rowed to the Reapertons’ barge. Grimaldi was sitting outside with a shiny new scythe, chatting to half a worm.

Back at the Fang Mansion, Amelia tiptoed up the staircase to the fourth floor and found the green door with its mouldy handle. She opened the door, jumped straight into the little boat on the River Styx and rowed to the Reapertons’ barge. Grimaldi was sitting outside with a shiny new scythe, chatting to half a worm.

‘Hey, Amelia!’ Grimaldi waved. ‘Look! Dad got me a new scythe!’

‘Hey, Amelia!’ Grimaldi waved. ‘Look! Dad got me a new scythe!’

‘Cool,’ Amelia said quickly. ‘But jump in! We need to get Florence and make a new plan. Tangine won’t give Squashy back!’

‘Cool,’ Amelia said quickly. ‘But jump in! We need to get Florence and make a new plan. Tangine won’t give Squashy back!’

‘Oh, that big unicorn-face!’ said Grimaldi, clenching his fists.

‘Oh, that big unicorn-face!’ said Grimaldi, clenching his fists.

Amelia and Grimaldi arrived at the Spudwick Pit, where Florence was busy doing one-armed press-ups.

Amelia and Grimaldi arrived at the Spudwick Pit, where Florence was busy doing one-armed press-ups.

‘’ELLO, GUYS!’ she puffed. ‘WANNA SIT ON MY BACK WHILE I EXERCISE? I’M

‘’ELLO, GUYS!’ she puffed. ‘WANNA SIT ON MY BACK WHILE I EXERCISE? I’M

BUILDING UP MY MUSCLES FOR WHEN I ’ELP DAD WIV PIT-DIGGING IN THE ’ALLOWEEN ’OLIDAYS.’ She flexed her arms, revealing an impressive set of biceps.

BUILDING UP MY MUSCLES FOR WHEN I ’ELP DAD WIV PIT-DIGGING IN THE ’ALLOWEEN ’OLIDAYS.’ She flexed her arms, revealing an impressive set of biceps.

‘Sorry to disturb your training, Florence,’ said Amelia, ‘but it’s an emergency!’

‘Sorry to disturb your training, Florence,’ said Amelia, ‘but it’s an emergency!’

Amelia was about to tell her friends about Tangine’s secret. But then stopped herself. She wasn’t sure how she felt about the Creatures of the Light now, and

Amelia was about to tell her friends about Tangine’s secret. But then stopped herself. She wasn’t sure how she felt about the Creatures of the Light now, and

it would take too long to explain everything. Right now she had to concentrate on getting Squashy back.

it would take too long to explain everything. Right now she had to concentrate on getting Squashy back.

‘OK,’ she said. ‘Both King Vladimir and Tangine are coming to the ball tomorrow . . . THAT’S our chance to go to Nocturnia Palace and rescue Squashy.’

‘OK,’ she said. ‘Both King Vladimir and Tangine are coming to the ball tomorrow . . . THAT’S our chance to go to Nocturnia Palace and rescue Squashy.’

‘How will we get to the palace without anyone seeing us?’ said Grimaldi.

‘How will we get to the palace without anyone seeing us?’ said Grimaldi.

‘I COULD DIG US A TUNNEL FROM THE RIVER, SO NOBODY SPOTS US ABOVE GROUND,’ said Florence.

‘I COULD DIG US A TUNNEL FROM THE RIVER, SO NOBODY SPOTS US ABOVE GROUND,’ said Florence.

‘Florence, that is the BEST idea ever!’ said Amelia, high-fiving her friend but missing because she couldn’t quite reach.

‘Florence, that is the BEST idea ever!’ said Amelia, high-fiving her friend but missing because she couldn’t quite reach.

‘What if Tangine spots you sneaking off?’ said Grimaldi.

‘What if Tangine spots you sneaking off?’ said Grimaldi.

‘Good point. I’ll need something to keep him busy,’ said Amelia thoughtfully.

‘Good point. I’ll need something to keep him busy,’ said Amelia thoughtfully.

‘WHY DON’T YOU LEAD ’IM INTO ONE

‘WHY DON’T YOU LEAD ’IM INTO ONE

OF YER DOORS AND MAKE SURE ’E GETS STUCK IN THERE?’ said Florence.

OF YER DOORS AND MAKE SURE ’E GETS STUCK IN THERE?’ said Florence.

‘Stuck . . . ’ Amelia muttered. ‘Now that gives me an idea!’

‘Stuck . . . ’ Amelia muttered. ‘Now that gives me an idea!’

‘OOH, I LOVE A GOOD PLAN!’ said Florence. ‘MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A SECRET AGENT OR SOMEFING.’

‘OOH, I LOVE A GOOD PLAN!’ said Florence. ‘MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A SECRET AGENT OR SOMEFING.’

‘OK, guys, I’ll see you both at the River Styx tomorrow at midnight!’ said Amelia. ‘And leave Tangine to me.’

‘OK, guys, I’ll see you both at the River Styx tomorrow at midnight!’ said Amelia. ‘And leave Tangine to me.’

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 16

THE
BARBARIC BALL

THE
BARBARIC BALL

It was Saturday – the night of the Barbaric Ball.

It was Saturday – the night of the Barbaric Ball.

The Fang household was filled with the smell of burning candles and goblins. Goblins Anonymous were preparing
the Barbaric Buffet and Horrific Hors d’oeuvres, and one unfortunate goblin
had got himself stuck in the oven. While everyone was distracted, Amelia gathered the final things she needed for her plan.

The Fang household was filled with the smell of burning candles and goblins. Goblins Anonymous were preparing the Barbaric Buffet and Horrific Hors d’oeuvres, and one unfortunate goblin had got himself stuck in the oven. While everyone was distracted, Amelia gathered the final things she needed for her plan.

The doorbell gong bellowed through the house, marking the arrival of the first guests.

The doorbell gong bellowed through the house, marking the arrival of the first guests.

‘IT BEGIIIINS!’ squealed Countess Frivoleeta.

‘IT BEGIIIINS!’ squealed Countess Frivoleeta.

Wooo whizzed past her and greeted a group of serpents in huge ruffled collars, who were waiting at the front door. In their excitement, they had managed to tie themselves in knots. Wooo led them to the ballroom at the back of the house.

Wooo whizzed past her and greeted a group of serpents in huge ruffled collars, who were waiting at the front door. In their excitement, they had managed to tie themselves in knots. Wooo led them to the ballroom at the back of the house.

Back in her bedroom, Amelia’s heart jumped with joy at the thought of rescuing Squashy.

Back in her bedroom, Amelia’s heart jumped with joy at the thought of rescuing Squashy.

Suddenly, Countess Frivoleeta came bursting in.

Suddenly, Countess Frivoleeta came bursting in.

‘Amelia!’ she bellowed. ‘Stop hanging around in the shadows and get to the ballroom this instant. Haven’t you learnt anything from your vampiress etiquette lessons?’

‘Amelia!’ she bellowed. ‘Stop hanging around in the shadows and get to the ballroom this instant. Haven’t you learnt anything from your vampiress etiquette lessons?’

‘Yes, Mum.’ Amelia walked as elegantly as she could out of the bedroom.

‘Yes, Mum.’ Amelia walked as elegantly as she could out of the bedroom.

Countess Frivoleeta cooed in excitement. ‘Oh, my dreariest, you look revoltingly RAVISHING! I am so proud!’

Countess Frivoleeta cooed in excitement. ‘Oh, my dreariest, you look revoltingly RAVISHING! I am so proud!’

As Amelia walked to the ballroom, she heard the thumping beats and AAAAH OOOOOOOOs of the Howling Wolf Band. She edged to the back of the room, trying not to draw attention to herself.

As Amelia walked to the ballroom, she heard the thumping beats and AAAAHOOOOOOOOs of the Howling Wolf Band. She edged to the back of the room, trying not to draw attention to herself.

‘YOU STUPID BIRD! YOU’RE FIRED!’

‘YOU STUPID BIRD! YOU’RE FIRED!’

Tangine’s voice echoed through the house.

Tangine’s voice echoed through the house.

The Howling Wolf Band stopped howling,

The Howling Wolf Band stopped howling,

and the crowd gathered around the black carpet, murmuring excitedly.

and the crowd gathered around the black carpet, murmuring excitedly.

The huge ballroom doors swung open and Wooo made the announcement:

The huge ballroom doors swung open and Wooo made the announcement:

‘Count and Countess Fang are delighted to welcome some VERY special guests to the Barbaric Ball. After many years of absence, I present: KING VLADIMIR the THIRTEENTH!’

‘Count and Countess Fang are delighted to welcome some VERY special guests to the Barbaric Ball. After many years of absence, I present: KING VLADIMIR the THIRTEENTH!’

The crowd erupted. One skeleton fell apart with excitement.

The crowd erupted. One skeleton fell apart with excitement.

King Vladimir walked in. His face was solemn, and his eyes had dark rings around them. He headed straight for the buffet, waving half-heartedly at the crowd as he passed.

King Vladimir walked in. His face was solemn, and his eyes had dark rings around them. He headed straight for the buffet, waving half-heartedly at the crowd as he passed.

‘And now for our NEXT special guest!’ announced Wooo. ‘Our future king . . . TANGERINE!’

‘And now for our NEXT special guest!’ announced Wooo. ‘Our future king . . . TANGERINE!’

Tangine stopped mid-march and furrowed

Tangine stopped mid-march and furrowed

his brows. ‘It’s TanGEEEEN!’ he hissed.

his brows. ‘It’s TanGEEEEN!’ he hissed.

‘Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Tanning Cream,’ said Wooo.

‘Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Tanning Cream,’ said Wooo.

‘No! TANGINE, you transparent turnip!’

‘No! TANGINE, you transparent turnip!’

‘Do beg your pardon,’ said Wooo. ‘Follow me, Tin Bean.’

‘Do beg your pardon,’ said Wooo. ‘Follow me, Tin Bean.’

‘AAARRRRGH!’ Tangine gritted his teeth and marched along behind Wooo.

‘AAARRRRGH!’ Tangine gritted his teeth and marched along behind Wooo.

‘Let’s hear it for TAMBORIIIINE!’ said Wooo, and the crowd exploded with cheers and claps and slime.

‘Let’s hear it for TAMBORIIIINE!’ said Wooo, and the crowd exploded with cheers and claps and slime.

Tangine shook his head and walked straight through Wooo in anger. Walking through a ghost was the highest level of insult.

Tangine shook his head and walked straight through Wooo in anger. Walking through a ghost was the highest level of insult.

The Howling Wolf Band started playing the ‘Dance Macabre’.

The Howling Wolf Band started playing the ‘Dance Macabre’.

Amelia checked the clock. It was almost midnight. Maybe she could sneak out without Tangine seeing her . . .

Amelia checked the clock. It was almost midnight. Maybe she could sneak out without Tangine seeing her . . .

‘Oh, Ameeelia,’ came his familiar voice.

‘Oh, Ameeelia,’ came his familiar voice.

Amelia’s heart fell to the tips of her pointy black boots. ‘Oh, hey, Tangine,’ she said, trying to sound cheerful.

Amelia’s heart fell to the tips of her pointy black boots. ‘Oh, hey, Tangine,’ she said, trying to sound cheerful.

‘I’m still angry with you,’ he said, folding his arms. ‘And Squashy isn’t here, before you ask.’

‘I’m still angry with you,’ he said, folding his arms. ‘And Squashy isn’t here, before you ask.’

Amelia kept calm. ‘Look, I’m sorry if I offended you last night . . . but I really hate dancing and I’ve always wanted someone

Amelia kept calm. ‘Look, I’m sorry if I offended you last night . . . but I really hate dancing and I’ve always wanted someone

to hang out with at this boring ball! How about we play a game?’

to hang out with at this boring ball! How about we play a game?’

Tangine frowned. ‘Is this another trick?’

Tangine frowned. ‘Is this another trick?’

‘What about tag?’ said Amelia, ignoring his question.

‘What about tag?’ said Amelia, ignoring his question.

Tangine narrowed his eyes.

Tangine narrowed his eyes.

‘TAG! You’re it!’ Amelia tapped his arm then ran off before Tangine could stop her.

‘TAG! You’re it!’ Amelia tapped his arm then ran off before Tangine could stop her.

‘What? Hey! Come back!’ said Tangine, then he ran after her. When she looked back over her shoulder, Amelia saw his frown

‘What? Hey! Come back!’ said Tangine, then he ran after her. When she looked back over her shoulder, Amelia saw his frown

slowly turning into a smile.

slowly turning into a smile.

Amelia led Tangine down the staircase, away from the beats of the party. They passed a sprite tugging at a plate which was stuck to his face with goblin slime.

Amelia led Tangine down the staircase, away from the beats of the party. They passed a sprite tugging at a plate which was stuck to his face with goblin slime.

‘Wait for me!’ puffed Tangine. Giggling, he followed Amelia down a corridor, through a huge door and into complete darkness.

‘Wait for me!’ puffed Tangine. Giggling, he followed Amelia down a corridor, through a huge door and into complete darkness.

‘Amelia?’ he called, his laughter fading. ‘Where are you? I thought we were playing tag . . . not hide-and-seek!’

‘Amelia?’ he called, his laughter fading. ‘Where are you? I thought we were playing tag . . . not hide-and-seek!’

Amelia hesitated, catching her breath in the dark. ‘I’m sorry, Tangine,’ she said, before throwing a bucketful of goblin slime over his head.

Amelia hesitated, catching her breath in the dark. ‘I’m sorry, Tangine,’ she said, before throwing a bucketful of goblin slime over his head.

SPLOSH!

SPLOSH!

‘AAAAAAARGGGHHH!’ yelled Tangine. ‘WHAT’S GOING ON? I can’t see a thing!’

‘AAAAAAARGGGHHH!’ yelled Tangine. ‘WHAT’S GOING ON? I can’t see a thing!’

SPLOSH!

SPLOSH!

‘GAAAAAAAAAH! I can’t move!’ he bellowed as the goblin slime set like concrete. ‘Get me out of here this instant!’

‘GAAAAAAAAAH! I can’t move!’ he bellowed as the goblin slime set like concrete. ‘Get me out of here this instant!’

The more he struggled, the more the slime hardened around him. ‘This isn’t how you play tag, Amelia! What’s going on?’

The more he struggled, the more the slime hardened around him. ‘This isn’t how you play tag, Amelia! What’s going on?’

‘I’m really sorry, but you’ve given me no choice . . .’ Amelia whispered. Then she stepped out and shut the door behind her.

‘I’m really sorry, but you’ve given me no choice . . .’ Amelia whispered. Then she stepped out and shut the door behind her.

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 17

SIGMUND

SIGMUND

Amelia made her way to the green door with the mouldy handle, and found Florence and Grimaldi waiting on the other side. She felt terrible for trapping Tangine, but it was her only chance to get Squashy back.

Amelia made her way to the green door with the mouldy handle, and found Florence and Grimaldi waiting on the other side. She felt terrible for trapping Tangine, but it was her only chance to get Squashy back.

‘Let’s go,’ said Amelia. ‘Florence, are you ready to dig like you’ve never dug before?’

‘Let’s go,’ said Amelia. ‘Florence, are you ready to dig like you’ve never dug before?’

‘ALREADY DONE IT.’ Florence grinned. ‘YER UNDERGROUND PASSAGE TO THE PALACE AWAITS.’

‘ALREADY DONE IT.’ Florence grinned. ‘YER UNDERGROUND PASSAGE TO THE PALACE AWAITS.’

‘Excellent job!’ said Amelia.

‘Excellent job!’ said Amelia.

‘It was amazing,’ said Grimaldi. ‘Florence is a MACHINE!’

‘It was amazing,’ said Grimaldi. ‘Florence is a MACHINE!’

As the friends entered the tunnel, Grimaldi tapped his scythe and PING! It began to glow a luminous green.

As the friends entered the tunnel, Grimaldi tapped his scythe and PING! It began to glow a luminous green.

‘Whoa!’ said Amelia. ‘That’s one fancy new scythe.’

‘Whoa!’ said Amelia. ‘That’s one fancy new scythe.’

‘I know, right?’ said Grimaldi. ‘It glows three different colours!’

‘I know, right?’ said Grimaldi. ‘It glows three different colours!’

The friends pressed on, and the tunnel got darker . . .

The friends pressed on, and the tunnel got darker . . .

‘Florence,’ Amelia asked. ‘How much further?’

‘Florence,’ Amelia asked. ‘How much further?’

Florence sniffed the air. ‘’BOUT FREE METRES . . .’

Florence sniffed the air. ‘’BOUT FREE METRES . . .’

She paused and tapped at the mud above her head. Amelia gasped as it fell away to reveal an opening.

She paused and tapped at the mud above her head. Amelia gasped as it fell away to reveal an opening.

Florence poked her head through the hole, then crouched back down. ‘LOOKS LIKE THE PALACE KITCHEN – FULL OF MUMMY MAIDS!’

Florence poked her head through the hole, then crouched back down. ‘LOOKS LIKE THE PALACE KITCHEN – FULL OF MUMMY MAIDS!’

‘OK,’ said Amelia. ‘Let’s do this. You happy to keep watch, Florence?’

‘OK,’ said Amelia. ‘Let’s do this. You happy to keep watch, Florence?’

‘ON IT.’ Her friend smiled.

‘ON IT.’ Her friend smiled.

‘And Grimaldi, are you ready?’ said Amelia.

‘And Grimaldi, are you ready?’ said Amelia.

‘I’ve been face to face with a unicorn . . .’ he replied. ‘I don’t think anything could scare me more than that!’ He beamed. ‘Except maybe ladybirds.’

‘I’ve been face to face with a unicorn . . .’ he replied. ‘I don’t think anything could scare me more than that!’ He beamed. ‘Except maybe ladybirds.’

Amelia and Grimaldi coughed and spluttered as they emerged in the kitchen fireplace, covered in soot. Mummy Maids were scurrying about with overflowing plates and bowls. None of them noticed that a vampire and a grim reaper had just crawled into the kitchen.

Amelia and Grimaldi coughed and spluttered as they emerged in the kitchen fireplace, covered in soot. Mummy Maids were scurrying about with overflowing plates and bowls. None of them noticed that a vampire and a grim reaper had just crawled into the kitchen.

Amelia and Grimaldi hid behind a shelf of jars full of various body parts.

Amelia and Grimaldi hid behind a shelf of jars full of various body parts.

‘How are we meant to get through without being seen?’ Amelia whispered. ‘There are

‘How are we meant to get through without being seen?’ Amelia whispered. ‘There are

Mummy Maids EVERYWHERE.’

Mummy Maids EVERYWHERE.’

‘Hey, I have an idea!’ said Grimaldi, grabbing the end of a piece of grubby white cloth. The cloth was attached to a Mummy Maid, who began slowly
unravelling as he moved
around the kitchen.

‘Hey, I have an idea!’ said Grimaldi, grabbing the end of a piece of grubby white cloth. The cloth was attached to a Mummy Maid, who began slowly unravelling as he moved around the kitchen.

The other maids started screaming and
throwing dishes
at the naked
Mummy Maid. ‘OUTRAGEOUS!’
yelled one, gripping
a test tube so tightly
it smashed. A nude
Mummy Maid
is not a pretty
sight – all

The other maids started screaming and  throwing dishes at the naked Mummy Maid. ‘OUTRAGEOUS!’ yelled one, gripping a test tube so tightly it smashed. A nude Mummy Maid is not a pretty sight – all

wrinkly, like they’ve spent too much time in the bath, but with added warts and a few stray eyeballs.

wrinkly, like they’ve spent too much time in the bath, but with added warts and a few stray eyeballs.

Here’s our disguise!’ Grimaldi grinned.

Here’s our disguise!’ Grimaldi grinned.

‘Climb on my shoulders and hold the end of the cloth.’

‘Climb on my shoulders and hold the end of the cloth.’

Amelia sat on Grimaldi’s shoulders while he twirled around, wrapping them both in the cloth until they looked like one very tall Mummy Maid.

Amelia sat on Grimaldi’s shoulders while he twirled around, wrapping them both in the cloth until they looked like one very tall Mummy Maid.

pots in the process. Amelia tapped his head and whispered, ‘Should we ask one of the Mummy Maids if they know where Squashy is?’

pots in the process. Amelia tapped his head and whispered, ‘Should we ask one of the Mummy Maids if they know where Squashy is?’

‘Good idea!’ said Grimaldi. ‘Let’s try this one.’ He headed over to a very fat Mummy Maid who was mixing up a bowl of sludge.

‘Good idea!’ said Grimaldi. ‘Let’s try this one.’ He headed over to a very fat Mummy Maid who was mixing up a bowl of sludge.

‘Oh, Sigmund!’ the Mummy Maid rasped. ‘So glad you’re here! Could you be a dear and fetch that packet of Splattered Spleen from the top shelf?’

‘Oh, Sigmund!’ the Mummy Maid rasped. ‘So glad you’re here! Could you be a dear and fetch that packet of Splattered Spleen from the top shelf?’

‘Er, sure . . .’ said Amelia, putting on a deep voice.

‘Er, sure . . .’ said Amelia, putting on a deep voice.

She grabbed the most splattery-looking thing from the shelf.

She grabbed the most splattery-looking thing from the shelf.

‘Thank you, Sigmund! Actually, while you’re here, perhaps you could fetch me some bogie bundles from Debra? I think this dish could do with a touch of bogie.’

‘Thank you, Sigmund! Actually, while you’re here, perhaps you could fetch me some bogie bundles from Debra? I think this dish could do with a touch of bogie.’

Amelia was getting impatient. ‘Uh, so

Amelia was getting impatient. ‘Uh, so

Grimaldi wobbled
his way through the
kitchen, knocking over a few

Grimaldi wobbled his way through the kitchen, knocking over a few

that pumpkin, Squashy . . . where’s he at these days?’ she blurted out.

that pumpkin, Squashy . . . where’s he at these days?’ she blurted out.

The Mummy Maid tutted. ‘I’d completely forgotten about that silly pumpkin! I was meant to feed him ages ago!’

The Mummy Maid tutted. ‘I’d completely forgotten about that silly pumpkin! I was meant to feed him ages ago!’

Amelia flinched, and a piece of cloth came loose at her nose.

Amelia flinched, and a piece of cloth came loose at her nose.

‘Would you feed him for me?’ said the Mummy Maid, not looking up. ‘He’s in the cellar.’

‘Would you feed him for me?’ said the Mummy Maid, not looking up. ‘He’s in the cellar.’

Amelia couldn’t believe her luck! She tried to stay calm and balanced on Grimaldi’s shoulders.

Amelia couldn’t believe her luck! She tried to stay calm and balanced on Grimaldi’s shoulders.

Suddenly, the real Sigmund shouted from across the kitchen, ‘HEY! That’s not a Mummy Maid!’

Suddenly, the real Sigmund shouted from across the kitchen, ‘HEY! That’s not a Mummy Maid!’

Grimaldi didn’t wait to hear what was coming next. He ran as fast as he could, the cloth fast unravelling from around them. Amelia spotted a wooden trapdoor and

Grimaldi didn’t wait to hear what was coming next. He ran as fast as he could, the cloth fast unravelling from around them. Amelia spotted a wooden trapdoor and

yanked it open. A rickety staircase stretched down into complete darkness.

yanked it open. A rickety staircase stretched down into complete darkness.

‘Smells like a cellar to me!’ said Grimaldi.

‘Smells like a cellar to me!’ said Grimaldi.

They jumped through the trapdoor . . .

They jumped through the trapdoor . . .

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 18

I AM NOT A BEAST!

I AM NOT A BEAST!

Amelia couldn’t see a thing.

Amelia couldn’t see a thing.

‘Hold on . . .’ said Grimaldi, and the next second the cellar was lit up by the scythe’s green glow.

‘Hold on . . .’ said Grimaldi, and the next second the cellar was lit up by the scythe’s green glow.

The cellar was a treasure trove of grotesque ingredients – from pots of earwax, bags of knees and inside-out brains, to feet with eyeballs as toes.

The cellar was a treasure trove of grotesque ingredients – from pots of earwax, bags of knees and inside-out brains, to feet with eyeballs as toes.

When Squashy spotted Amelia he squeaked louder than he’d ever
squeaked before and bounced

When Squashy spotted Amelia he squeaked louder than he’d ever  squeaked before and bounced

straight into her arms with one big pa-doing!

straight into her arms with one big pa-doing!

Amelia hugged him tightly. ‘Oh, Squashy! I’m SO happy to see you!’ Squashy licked the tears that were running down Amelia’s cheeks.

Amelia hugged him tightly. ‘Oh, Squashy! I’m SO happy to see you!’ Squashy licked the tears that were running down Amelia’s cheeks.

‘Um . . . Amelia . . .’ Grimaldi nudged her.

‘Um . . . Amelia . . .’ Grimaldi nudged her.

The trapdoor crashed inwards, and a group of angry Mummy Maids appeared.

The trapdoor crashed inwards, and a group of angry Mummy Maids appeared.

‘There they are! Get them!’ shouted Sigmund. ‘And that pumpkin!’

‘There they are! Get them!’ shouted Sigmund. ‘And that pumpkin!’

Squashy started squeaking in fear, but Amelia couldn’t see a way out of the cellar.

Squashy started squeaking in fear, but Amelia couldn’t see a way out of the cellar.

Sigmund reached for Grimaldi’s scythe.

Sigmund reached for Grimaldi’s scythe.

‘Get off!’ Grimaldi shouted. ‘This is BRAND NEW!’ The scythe was flashing from green to orange to purple and the cellar looked like some kind of disco.

‘Get off!’ Grimaldi shouted. ‘This is BRAND NEW!’ The scythe was flashing from green to orange to purple and the cellar looked like some kind of disco.

Amelia picked up a stray eyeball-toed

Amelia picked up a stray eyeball-toed

foot, and launched it through the air. It hit Sigmund in the forehead.

foot, and launched it through the air. It hit Sigmund in the forehead.

But other Mummy Maids were flooding in thick and fast.

But other Mummy Maids were flooding in thick and fast.

How could they escape?

How could they escape?

Pots of earwax went splattering into the Mummy Maids’ faces. Noses and eyeball-toed feet went flying as the ground exploded, and out from the dust and dirt emerged a big, hairy figure.

Pots of earwax went splattering into the Mummy Maids’ faces. Noses and eyeball-toed feet went flying as the ground exploded, and out from the dust and dirt emerged a big, hairy figure.

‘BEEEEEAST!’ the Mummy Maids cried.

‘BEEEEEAST!’ the Mummy Maids cried.

‘I AM NOT A BEAST!’ yelled Florence. ‘I’M A RARE . . .’ She punched one Mummy Maid in the foot. ‘BREED . . .’ Then she punched another Mummy Maid in the armpit. ‘OF YETI!’

‘I AM NOT A BEAST!’ yelled Florence. ‘I’M A RARE . . .’ She punched one Mummy Maid in the foot. ‘BREED . . .’ Then she punched another Mummy Maid in the armpit. ‘OF YETI!’

‘FLORENCE!’ cried Amelia and Grimaldi together.

‘FLORENCE!’ cried Amelia and Grimaldi together.

‘MY ARM ’AIRS WERE TINGLING. FOUGHT I BEST INVESTIGATE,’ said Florence, holding a Mummy Maid up by her toes.

‘MY ARM ’AIRS WERE TINGLING. FOUGHT I BEST INVESTIGATE,’ said Florence, holding a Mummy Maid up by her toes.

The other Mummy Maids were closing in, looking very angry.

The other Mummy Maids were closing in, looking very angry.

‘I GOT THIS!’ Florence shouted.

‘I GOT THIS! Florence shouted.

‘YOU GUYS GET OUT OF ’ERE!’

‘YOU GUYS GET OUT OF ’ERE!’

Amelia held
Squashy tight, grabbed
Grimaldi’s hand, and they raced
into the tunnel as fast as they
could. Florence rolled up her sleeves
and flexed her muscles.

Amelia held
Squashy tight, grabbed
Grimaldi’s hand, and they raced
into the tunnel as fast as they
could. Florence rolled up her sleeves
and flexed her muscles.

‘Move it, BEAST!’
Sigmund shouted.

‘Move it, BEAST!’
Sigmund shouted.

With one more giant punch, Florence sent every Mummy Maid sprawling. Then, with the grace of a hippopotamus ballerina, she pirouetted around the stunned maids and tied them together using their own cloth.

With one more giant punch, Florence sent every Mummy Maid sprawling. Then, with the grace of a hippopotamus ballerina, she pirouetted around the stunned maids and tied them together using their own cloth.

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 19

DOOR CHASE

DOOR CHASE

Amelia, Grimaldi and Squashy finally emerged above ground at the edge of the River Styx. Amelia held Squashy close, and even in the cold night air, she felt nothing but warmth. Squashy nuzzled in closer, making little squeaks.

Amelia, Grimaldi and Squashy finally emerged above ground at the edge of the River Styx. Amelia held Squashy close, and even in the cold night air, she felt nothing but warmth. Squashy nuzzled in closer, making little squeaks.

Florence caught up with them. She hadn’t even broken a sweat. ‘OI, GRIMALDI, YOU CAN TURN YER SCYTHE LIGHT OFF NOW,’ said Florence.

Florence caught up with them. She hadn’t even broken a sweat. ‘OI, GRIMALDI, YOU CAN TURN YER SCYTHE LIGHT OFF NOW,’ said Florence.

‘It won’t turn off,’ said Grimaldi, fiddling with the settings. ‘I think those Mummy Maids have broken it.’

‘It won’t turn off,’ said Grimaldi, fiddling with the settings. ‘I think those Mummy Maids have broken it.’

Amelia could hear the music coming from the Fang Mansion in the distance.

Amelia could hear the music coming from the Fang Mansion in the distance.

‘I should get back to the ball before anyone misses me!’ said Amelia. ‘Thank you both for helping me get Squashy back.’

‘I should get back to the ball before anyone misses me!’ said Amelia. ‘Thank you both for helping me get Squashy back.’

Florence threw her arms around Amelia and Grimaldi, and the scythe lit up her fur.

Florence threw her arms around Amelia and Grimaldi, and the scythe lit up her fur.

‘WAIT . . .’ Florence gulped. ‘IS THAT . . . GLITTER?’

‘WAIT . . .’ Florence gulped. ‘IS THAT . . . GLITTER?’

Squashy squeaked in fear and hid behind Amelia’s legs.

Squashy squeaked in fear and hid behind Amelia’s legs.

A patch of glitter sparkled on the ground as the small silhouette of a boy came into view.

A patch of glitter sparkled on the ground as the small silhouette of a boy came into view.

‘Tangine!’ said Amelia. Her brain was racing. How on earth had he escaped from all that goblin slime?

‘Tangine!’ said Amelia. Her brain was racing. How on earth had he escaped from all that goblin slime?

‘I thought we were playing tag,’ Tangine said quietly.

‘I thought we were playing tag,’ Tangine said quietly.

‘WHAT’S ’E SAYING?’ Florence bellowed. ‘WHY’S ’E BEING SO QUIET?’

‘WHAT’S ’E SAYING?’ Florence bellowed. ‘WHY’S ’E BEING SO QUIET?’

‘I’m sorry, Tangine,’ said Amelia softly.

‘I’m sorry, Tangine,’ said Amelia softly.

‘But you left me with no other option. Why wouldn’t you give Squashy back?’

‘But you left me with no other option. Why wouldn’t you give Squashy back?’

Tangine twiddled his thumbs. ‘I just . . . didn’t want to.’ He shrugged. ‘I needed a pet to play with, since nobody wanted to be my friend. And you were always going on about how great Squashy is.’ His shoulders drooped. ‘Turns out Squashy didn’t want to play with me either.’

Tangine twiddled his thumbs. ‘I just . . . didn’t want to.’ He shrugged. ‘I needed a pet to play with, since nobody wanted to be my friend. And you were always going on about how great Squashy is.’ His shoulders drooped. ‘Turns out Squashy didn’t want to play with me either.’

‘Tangine, you’ve been treating us more like your servants than your friends,’ said Amelia. ‘And you’re horrible to them. Friends don’t order each other around, and they don’t steal each other’s things.’

‘Tangine, you’ve been treating us more like your servants than your friends,’ said Amelia. ‘And you’re horrible to them. Friends don’t order each other around, and they don’t steal each other’s things.’

‘But that’s what I do with the Mummy Maids.’ Tangine looked confused.

‘But that’s what I do with the Mummy Maids.’ Tangine looked confused.

‘Well, you shouldn’t. And you’re meant to share with your friends,’ Amelia said softly. ‘Friends are kind to each other. Nobody wants to be friends with someone

‘Well, you shouldn’t. And you’re meant to share with your friends,’ Amelia said softly. ‘Friends are kind to each other. Nobody wants to be friends with someone

who’s mean to them!’ She sighed. ‘Look, I saw something in your dad’s study when I came to visit last night . . .’

who’s mean to them!’ She sighed. ‘Look, I saw something in your dad’s study when I came to visit last night . . .’

Tangine frowned. ‘Daddy hasn’t used his study in years. Why were you in there?’

Tangine frowned. ‘Daddy hasn’t used his study in years. Why were you in there?’

‘WHY IS THERE GLITTER ALL AROUND ’IM?’ said Florence, striding forward.

‘WHY IS THERE GLITTER ALL AROUND ’IM?’ said Florence, striding forward.

‘It’s OK, Florence,’ said Amelia, blocking

‘It’s OK, Florence,’ said Amelia, blocking

her way. Squashy started squeaking.

her way. Squashy started squeaking.

Florence and Grimaldi exchanged a confused look.

Florence and Grimaldi exchanged a confused look.

Amelia stepped forward. ‘Tangine . . . I know. I know your secret.’

Amelia stepped forward. ‘Tangine . . . I know. I know your secret.’

A look of panic flashed across Tangine’s face.

A look of panic flashed across Tangine’s face.

Amelia turned to her friends. ‘I didn’t want to tell you guys, because I wanted to concentrate on getting Squashy back. And I wasn’t sure you’d understand . . .’ Then she turned to face Tangine. ‘I know who your mother is.’

Amelia turned to her friends. ‘I didn’t want to tell you guys, because I wanted to concentrate on getting Squashy back. And I wasn’t sure you’d understand . . .’ Then she turned to face Tangine. ‘I know who your mother is.’

‘Um, Amelia . . . his mother was eaten,’ Grimaldi whispered. ‘By a fairy!’

‘Um, Amelia . . . his mother was eaten,’ Grimaldi whispered. ‘By a fairy!’

Tangine didn’t move.

Tangine didn’t move.

‘That’s not true,’ said Amelia. ‘Tangine’s mother disappeared, but she wasn’t eaten by a fairy . . . She IS a fairy!’

‘That’s not true,’ said Amelia. ‘Tangine’s mother disappeared, but she wasn’t eaten by a fairy . . . She IS a fairy!’

‘WHAT?’ bellowed Florence.

‘WHAT?’ bellowed Florence.

Grimaldi yelped.

Grimaldi yelped.

Tangine stood quietly in the floating doorway. Amelia couldn’t help noticing how small and helpless he looked.

Tangine stood quietly in the floating doorway. Amelia couldn’t help noticing how small and helpless he looked.

‘No, no,’ Amelia started. ‘The Creatures of the Light aren’t evi—’

‘No, no,’ Amelia started. ‘The Creatures of the Light aren’t evi—’

‘AARGHH! ’E’S A CREATURE OF THE LIGHT!’ Florence yelled, charging towards Tangine.

‘AARGHH! ’E’S A CREATURE OF THE LIGHT!’ Florence yelled, charging towards Tangine.

‘No! STOP, FLORENCE!’ Amelia shouted. But before she knew it, Florence and Tangine were both tumbling through the floating doorway, back into the Fang Mansion.

‘No! STOP, FLORENCE!’ Amelia shouted. But before she knew it, Florence and Tangine were both tumbling through the floating doorway, back into the Fang Mansion.

‘FLORENCE!’ Amelia cried, leaping through the door after them. ‘Stop, Florence! You don’t understand!’

‘FLORENCE!’ Amelia cried, leaping through the door after them. ‘Stop, Florence! You don’t understand!’

But it was no use.

But it was no use.

Tangine ran through a door at the end of the corridor then reappeared through a small yellow one, in front of Amelia and Grimaldi.

Tangine ran through a door at the end of the corridor then reappeared through a small yellow one, in front of Amelia and Grimaldi.

‘Tangine!’ said Amelia. ‘It’s OK . . .’ But Tangine looked terrified and ran back through the door.

‘Tangine!’ said Amelia. ‘It’s OK . . .’ But Tangine looked terrified and ran back through the door.

Florence came pounding down the corridor.

Florence came pounding down the corridor.

‘DON’T WORRY, GUYS, I’LL SAVE YOU FROM THAT MONSTROUS CREATURE!’ She squeezed herself through the small yellow door before Amelia could stop her.

‘DON’T WORRY, GUYS, I’LL SAVE YOU FROM THAT MONSTROUS CREATURE!’ She squeezed herself through the small yellow door before Amelia could stop her.

Amelia and Grimaldi dived after her and found themselves in a room full of yet more doors. Tangine leapt through a pink

Amelia and Grimaldi dived after her and found themselves in a room full of yet more doors. Tangine leapt through a pink

door and slammed it behind him. The door popped into a thousand pink bubbles.

door and slammed it behind him. The door popped into a thousand pink bubbles.

‘OH, MAN!’ Florence thundered, punching the bubbles. ‘YER DOORS ARE NOT ’ELPING!’

‘OH, MAN!’ Florence thundered, punching the bubbles. ‘YER DOORS ARE NOT ’ELPING!’

‘Florence!’ said Amelia. ‘Listen to me!’

‘Florence!’ said Amelia. ‘Listen to me!’

‘I LOST THE LITTLE SCRUMP!’ said Florence, dusting herself down.

‘I LOST THE LITTLE SCRUMP!’ said Florence, dusting herself down.

‘THERE!’ yelled Grimaldi.

‘THERE!’ yelled Grimaldi.

Tangine emerged from a hexagonal door on the other side of the room. When he spotted Florence he tried to turn back, but the door had locked itself. Tangine tried the next door along.

Tangine emerged from a hexagonal door on the other side of the room. When he spotted Florence he tried to turn back, but the door had locked itself. Tangine tried the next door along.

Florence bounded over, grunting with every step.

Florence bounded over, grunting with every step.

‘GUYS! You have to stop!’ cried Amelia. Squashy was bouncing up and down in panic.

‘GUYS! You have to stop!’ cried Amelia. Squashy was bouncing up and down in panic.

Tangine backed away from Florence, bumping into a huge stripy door. He tried turning the handle, but it wouldn’t open.

Tangine backed away from Florence, bumping into a huge stripy door. He tried turning the handle, but it wouldn’t open.

‘GAH!’ he yelled in frustration. ‘Stupid doors!’ He kicked the next door along.

‘GAH!’ he yelled in frustration. ‘Stupid doors!’ He kicked the next door along.

It kicked him back.

It kicked him back.

Florence pounced. Tangine looked from side to side in terror then blew a mouthful of glitter in Florence’s face.

Florence pounced. Tangine looked from side to side in terror then blew a mouthful of glitter in Florence’s face.

‘AAAAAARGH! MY EYES!’ Florene cried.

‘AAAAAARGH! MY EYES!’ Florene cried.

A huge cloud of glitter spread across the room. Grimaldi dropped his scythe and waved his hands around in horror. ‘The SPARKLY stuff! It’s in my mouth!’ he squealed, and then gagged.

A huge cloud of glitter spread across the room. Grimaldi dropped his scythe and waved his hands around in horror. ‘The SPARKLY stuff! It’s in my mouth!’ he squealed, and then gagged.

Florence made a lunge for Tangine but Amelia threw herself in front of him. Squashy followed, trying to protect Amelia, and Grimaldi tried to grab Squashy. Before they knew it, the five of them were tumbling through a big swirly door and falling down,

Florence made a lunge for Tangine but Amelia threw herself in front of him. Squashy followed, trying to protect Amelia, and Grimaldi tried to grab Squashy. Before they knew it, the five of them were tumbling through a big swirly door and falling down,

down,

down,

down,

down,

until . . .

until . . .

THUD!

THUD!

Amelia groaned and looked up to see her mother’s startled face.

Amelia groaned and looked up to see her mother’s startled face.

They had landed smack-bang in the middle of the Barbaric Ball.

They had landed smack-bang in the middle of the Barbaric Ball.

Squashy went rolling across the length of the ballroom, with one big SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Squashy went rolling across the length of the ballroom, with one big SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Every guest stopped what they were doing and stared. Both of the countess’s eyes fell out in shock.

Every guest stopped what they were doing and stared. Both of the countess’s eyes fell out in shock.

‘Uh, hi, Mum . . .’ said Amelia as Countess Frivoleeta’s left eyeball rolled after Squashy across the floor.

‘Uh, hi, Mum . . .’ said Amelia as Countess Frivoleeta’s left eyeball rolled after Squashy across the floor.

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 20

GLITTEROPOLIS

GLITTEROPOLIS

Countess Frivoleeta stood frozen to the spot. Florence loomed over Tangine with one hairy fist raised.

Countess Frivoleeta stood frozen to the spot. Florence loomed over Tangine with one hairy fist raised.

‘’E’S A CREATURE OF THE LIGHT! ’E’S DANGEROUS!’ she yelled.

‘’E’S A CREATURE OF THE LIGHT! ’E’S DANGEROUS!’ she yelled.

‘Florence, WAIT!’ Amelia cried, picking herself up from the floor.

‘Florence, WAIT!’ Amelia cried, picking herself up from the floor.

‘There’s a Creature of the Light in here?’ shouted a cyclops from the crowd.

‘There’s a Creature of the Light in here?’ shouted a cyclops from the crowd.

Tangine sat quietly as a sparkly tear slid down his face.

Tangine sat quietly as a sparkly tear slid down his face.

‘GLIIIIIITTERRRRR!’ shouted a centaur.

‘GLIIIIIITTERRRRR!’ shouted a centaur.

A monster started crying and the cyclops fainted, flattening a fat toad.

A monster started crying and the cyclops fainted, flattening a fat toad.

‘Wait!’ Amelia yelled. ‘Please! Stop!

‘Wait!’ Amelia yelled. ‘Please! Stop!

He’s harmless!’ But nobody was listening. Squashy bounced into Amelia’s arms.

He’s harmless!’ But nobody was listening. Squashy bounced into Amelia’s arms.

Count Drake was busy with a crossword in the corner of the room. ‘Everything OK over there, my dearest little snot-flicker?’ he said, without looking up.

Count Drake was busy with a crossword in the corner of the room. ‘Everything OK over there, my dearest little snot-flicker?’ he said, without looking up.

An ogre roared and ran through the wall.

An ogre roared and ran through the wall.

‘Oh, good,’ said the count.

‘Oh, good,’ said the count.

Most of the room had emptied, apart from a few imps who were stuck in puddles

Most of the room had emptied, apart from a few imps who were stuck in puddles

of goblin slime.

of goblin slime.

‘Florence,’ said Amelia,
‘please listen to me and calm down. We
have nothing to be afraid of. Will you let me talk to Tangine?’

‘Florence,’ said Amelia, ‘please listen to me and calm down. We have nothing to be afraid of. Will you let me talk to Tangine?’

Florence looked confused, but finally stepped aside.

Florence looked confused, but finally stepped aside.

‘Tangine,’ said Amelia softly. ‘Why didn’t you tell anyone about your mother?’

‘Tangine,’ said Amelia softly. ‘Why didn’t you tell anyone about your mother?’

‘Daddy told me not to,’ said Tangine,

‘Daddy told me not to,’ said Tangine,

looking at the floor. ‘He said that Nocturnia would never accept a king who’s half fairy.’

looking at the floor. ‘He said that Nocturnia would never accept a king who’s half fairy.’

‘Surely it doesn’t matter what you are, as long as you’re a good king?’ said Amelia gently. She sat down next to Tangine. ‘I saw a picture of your mum. She looked nice.’

‘Surely it doesn’t matter what you are, as long as you’re a good king?’ said Amelia gently. She sat down next to Tangine. ‘I saw a picture of your mum. She looked nice.’

‘I can’t remember her much,’ said Tangine. ‘But I do remember she gave good hugs.’ He smiled a little. ‘Daddy spends every waking hour looking for her. I can’t remember the last time he spent any proper time with me.’

‘I can’t remember her much,’ said Tangine. ‘But I do remember she gave good hugs.’ He smiled a little. ‘Daddy spends every waking hour looking for her. I can’t remember the last time he spent any proper time with me.’

‘DIDN’T SHE TRY TO TAKE YER FANGS?’ Florence bellowed.

‘DIDN’T SHE TRY TO TAKE YER FANGS?’ Florence bellowed.

‘Didn’t she blind you with fairy dust?’ said Grimaldi curiously.

‘Didn’t she blind you with fairy dust?’ said Grimaldi curiously.

‘No, none of that is true,’ said Tangine frowning. ‘Those are just fairy tales.’

‘No, none of that is true,’ said Tangine frowning. ‘Those are just fairy tales.’

‘In the photos she looked very different from the fairies we read about in class,’ said

‘In the photos she looked very different from the fairies we read about in class,’ said

Amelia. ‘She had such a kind face.’

Amelia. ‘She had such a kind face.’

‘She was the loveliest creature I’ve ever met,’ said a strong, deep voice. King Vladimir looked around the room and cleared his throat. ‘It’s time I told the truth,’ he said.

‘She was the loveliest creature I’ve ever met,’ said a strong, deep voice. King Vladimir looked around the room and cleared his throat. ‘It’s time I told the truth,’ he said.

‘I met Fairyweather while I was out playing in the Petrified Forest as a young

‘I met Fairyweather while I was out playing in the Petrified Forest as a young

vampire. I wasn’t scared of her at all. She was just a sweet little fairy. From then on, we met every morning as the moon was setting and the sun was rising. And as the years went by, I fell in love . . .’

vampire. I wasn’t scared of her at all. She was just a sweet little fairy. From then on, we met every morning as the moon was setting and the sun was rising. And as the years went by, I fell in love . . .’

Vladimir paused and closed his eyes for a moment.

Vladimir paused and closed his eyes for a moment.

‘After Fairyweather disappeared, I felt empty,’ the king continued. ‘I dedicated my life to finding her. While searching the palace grounds, I saw something glimmering by the edge of the Petrified Forest . . .’

‘After Fairyweather disappeared, I felt empty,’ the king continued. ‘I dedicated my life to finding her. While searching the palace grounds, I saw something glimmering by the edge of the Petrified Forest . . .’

‘GLITTER?’ said Florence.

‘GLITTER?’ said Florence.

‘Of sorts,’ said the king. ‘It was the only clue I ever found. A small piece of rainbow parchment, with words written in glitter. It said “GLITTEROPOLIS, the city where the sun never goes down, and your dreams always come true . . .”

‘Of sorts,’ said the king. ‘It was the only clue I ever found. A small piece of rainbow parchment, with words written in glitter. It said “GLITTEROPOLIS, the city where the sun never goes down, and your dreams always come true . . .”

‘I thought maybe Fairyweather had gone there, so I searched EVERYWHERE for Glitteropolis in the Kingdom of the Light. I lost sight of the family I still had – my son who needed me . . .’ He bent down and put an arm round Tangine. ‘I’m sorry. I should have been there for you.’

‘I thought maybe Fairyweather had gone there, so I searched EVERYWHERE for Glitteropolis in the Kingdom of the Light. I lost sight of the family I still had – my son who needed me . . .’ He bent down and put an arm round Tangine. ‘I’m sorry. I should have been there for you.’

Tangine sighed and held his dad’s hand. ‘It’s OK, Daddy. I really want to find her too. The Mummy Maids are NOT good huggers. They’re all . . . bumpy.’

Tangine sighed and held his dad’s hand. ‘It’s OK, Daddy. I really want to find her too. The Mummy Maids are NOT good huggers. They’re all . . . bumpy.’

‘Well,’ said Amelia, ‘maybe . . . maybe we could help?’

‘Well,’ said Amelia, ‘maybe . . . maybe we could help?’

Grimaldi looked scared but Tangine’s eyes lit up. ‘You’d help me look for my mum?’

Grimaldi looked scared but Tangine’s eyes lit up. ‘You’d help me look for my mum?’

‘Let’s think of it as one epic game of hide-and-seek!’ Amelia winked at Tangine.

‘Let’s think of it as one epic game of hide-and-seek!’ Amelia winked at Tangine.

‘No goblin slime this time . . .’ he said with a shy smile.

‘No goblin slime this time . . .’ he said with a shy smile.

‘I can’t promise anything.’ Amelia laughed

‘I can’t promise anything.’ Amelia laughed

and nudged his shoulder.

and nudged his shoulder.

Florence stepped forward and puffed out her hairy chest. ‘I’M WELL UP FER A FAIRY ’UNT – IN A NICE WAY, OF COURSE,’ she added. Then she coughed. ‘ER, SORRY FER WANTING TO SQUISH YOU, PRINCE T.’

Florence stepped forward and puffed out her hairy chest. ‘I’M WELL UP FER A FAIRY ’UNT – IN A NICE WAY, OF COURSE,’ she added. Then she coughed. ‘ER, SORRY FER WANTING TO SQUISH YOU, PRINCE T.’

Tangine smiled up at Florence. ‘Prince T . . .’ He nodded. ‘I like that!’

Tangine smiled up at Florence. ‘Prince T . . .’ He nodded. ‘I like that!’

Grimaldi stepped forward. ‘I’ll help too!’ he said, hitting his scythe on the ground. It finally stopped flashing. ‘Oh, thank darkness for that!’

Grimaldi stepped forward. ‘I’ll help too!’ he said, hitting his scythe on the ground. It finally stopped flashing. ‘Oh, thank darkness for that!’

Tangine looked up at the king and smiled. ‘Let’s find Mum!’

Tangine looked up at the king and smiled. ‘Let’s find Mum!’

King Vladimir beamed. ‘You’re so like her you know . . . well, when you’re not being a spoilt sprout.’

King Vladimir beamed. ‘You’re so like her you know . . . well, when you’re not being a spoilt sprout.’

Amelia raised her eyebrows and Tangine frowned. Then they both started giggling. Tangine paused, and then threw

Amelia raised her eyebrows and Tangine frowned. Then they both started giggling. Tangine paused, and then threw

his arms around Amelia.

his arms around Amelia.

‘Thhh-aaank you?’ he said quietly. ‘Um, I don’t think I’ve ever said that before.’

‘Thhh-aaank you?’ he said quietly. ‘Um, I don’t think I’ve ever said that before.’

Amelia chuckled. ‘You’re welcome, Tangine.’

Amelia chuckled. ‘You’re welcome, Tangine.’

Then he cleared his throat. ‘Squashy . . . sorry for, well, y’know.’

Then he cleared his throat. ‘Squashy . . . sorry for, well, y’know.’

Squashy looked at him with a little frown.

Squashy looked at him with a little frown.

‘Give him time,’ Amelia said. ‘You can

‘Give him time,’ Amelia said. ‘You can

make it up to him with some belly rubs!’

make it up to him with some belly rubs!’

Amelia looked around at the ballroom. It was a complete disaster zone. She wandered over to her mum who hadn’t moved a muscle since her eyeballs had fallen out. ‘Um . . . sorry for ruining your ball, Mum,’ she said.

Amelia looked around at the ballroom. It was a complete disaster zone. She wandered over to her mum who hadn’t moved a muscle since her eyeballs had fallen out. ‘Um . . . sorry for ruining your ball, Mum,’ she said.

Count Drake sauntered over in his Hawaiian graveyard shirt and fluffy slippers. ‘You dropped your eyeballs, you silly snot-sausage.’ He smiled and picked them up, popping them back into Countess Frivoleeta’s head.

Count Drake sauntered over in his Hawaiian graveyard shirt and fluffy slippers. ‘You dropped your eyeballs, you silly snot-sausage.’ He smiled and picked them up, popping them back into Countess Frivoleeta’s head.

The countess blinked and looked at Amelia.

The countess blinked and looked at Amelia.

Here we go, thought Amelia – time for a big lecture on what a disappointment I am to the Fang family . . .

Here we go, thought Amelia – time for a big lecture on what a disappointment I am to the Fang family . . .

‘Ruined?’ said the countess. A smile began to crack across her face. ‘Darkling, that was the best Barbaric Ball we’ve had in

‘Ruined?’ said the countess. A smile began to crack across her face. ‘Darkling, that was the best Barbaric Ball we’ve had in

years!’ She fist-pumped the air and ripped the seam of her dress.

years!’ She fist-pumped the air and ripped the seam of her dress.

Amelia couldn’t believe her ears. ‘You . . . you think so?’ she said.

Amelia couldn’t believe her ears. ‘You . . . you think so?’ she said.

‘Why,’ said Countess Frivoleeta, ‘it was positively disastrous. People will be talking about it for centuries!’

‘Why,’ said Countess Frivoleeta, ‘it was positively disastrous. People will be talking about it for centuries!’

Amelia almost burst with happiness.

Amelia almost burst with happiness.

‘OI! LOOK!’ Florence was pointing at an imp dancing around Tangine’s feet. The small puddle of goblin slime it had been stuck in was fizzling away.

‘OI! LOOK!’ Florence was pointing at an imp dancing around Tangine’s feet. The small puddle of goblin slime it had been stuck in was fizzling away.

‘The glitter from Tangine’s tears!’ said Amelia. ‘It’s dissolving the goblin slime! So THAT’S how you escaped my trap,’ she said to Tangine.

‘The glitter from Tangine’s tears!’ said Amelia. ‘It’s dissolving the goblin slime! So THAT’S how you escaped my trap,’ she said to Tangine.

He smiled and shrugged.

He smiled and shrugged.

Amelia felt a wave of guilt. ‘I really am sorry about that . . .’

Amelia felt a wave of guilt. ‘I really am sorry about that . . .’

‘I suppose I deserved it,’ said Tangine.

‘I suppose I deserved it,’ said Tangine.

‘Bit of a lame trap, though,’ he smirked.

‘Bit of a lame trap, though,’ he smirked.

‘Extraordinary,’ said Countess Frivoleeta, shuffling over. ‘I do believe we’ve found the solution to our goblin-slime problem!’

‘Extraordinary,’ said Countess Frivoleeta, shuffling over. ‘I do believe we’ve found the solution to our goblin-slime problem!’

Squashy bobbed up and down in Amelia’s arms.

Squashy bobbed up and down in Amelia’s arms.

‘WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FER?’ said Florence. ‘WE’VE GOT A RESCUE MISSION TO PLAN . . .’

‘WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FER?’ said Florence. ‘WE’VE GOT A RESCUE MISSION TO PLAN . . .’

‘You ready, Tangine?’ said Amelia.

‘You ready, Tangine?’ said Amelia.

‘BRENDA! FINNEGAN!’ he clapped his hands twice.

‘BRENDA! FINNEGAN!’ he clapped his hands twice.

‘No, noooo,’ said Amelia, waving the Mummy Maids away again. ‘You won’t be needing them.’

‘No, noooo,’ said Amelia, waving the Mummy Maids away again. ‘You won’t be needing them.’

‘But who’s going to do my hair?’ said Tangine.

‘But who’s going to do my hair?’ said Tangine.

‘You are,’ said Amelia.

‘You are,’ said Amelia.

Tangine looked shocked. The king chuckled.

Tangine looked shocked. The king chuckled.

‘I DUNNO ABOUT YOU LOT, BUT I’M STARVING,’ said Florence, picking a piece of Jellied Brain off the floor.

‘I DUNNO ABOUT YOU LOT, BUT I’M STARVING,’ said Florence, picking a piece of Jellied Brain off the floor.

Wooo flew into the almost empty ballroom and stopped when he saw the mess.

Wooo flew into the almost empty ballroom and stopped when he saw the mess.

‘I’ll get the mop,’ he said and disappeared again.

‘I’ll get the mop,’ he said and disappeared again.

The four new friends spent the rest of the night plotting how they were

The four new friends spent the rest of the night plotting how they were

going to find Tangine’s mum. As they made their plans, they used Grimaldi’s scythe as a bat to sling Flabbergasting Falafels into Florence’s hungry mouth. Tangine had a surprisingly good aim, and Squashy bounced around gobbling up any leftovers.

going to find Tangine’s mum. As they made their plans, they used Grimaldi’s scythe as a bat to sling Flabbergasting Falafels into Florence’s hungry mouth. Tangine had a surprisingly good aim, and Squashy bounced around gobbling up any leftovers.

Amelia laughed tucking into some Toasted Earlobe Bites. ‘Y’know what?’ she said as Squashy pa-doinged into her arms. ‘I can’t believe I ever thought the Barbaric Ball was boring!’

Amelia laughed tucking into some Toasted Earlobe Bites. ‘Y’know what?’ she said as Squashy pa-doinged into her arms. ‘I can’t believe I ever thought the Barbaric Ball was boring!’

Journey to the terrifying Kingdom of the Light with Amelia and her friends in

Journey to the terrifying Kingdom of the Light with Amelia and her friends in

COMING SOON!

COMING SOON!

In the meantime, here are some repugnant recipes!

In the meantime, here are some repugnant recipes!

Ingredients:

Ingredients:

1 smelly creature of choice

1 smelly creature of choice

Extra armpit hair (optional)

Extra armpit hair (optional)

2 rotten bananas

2 rotten bananas

1 tablespoon of olives

1 tablespoon of olives

Eyeball sticks (optional)

Eyeball sticks (optional)

Method:

Method:

Make your creature of choice run in circles for two hours. Collect the sweat in a large tray.

Make your creature of choice run in circles for two hours. Collect the sweat in a large tray.

Leave the sweat to stew in the tray for half an hour, adding a handful of armpit hair for texture. Stir for one minute.

Leave the sweat to stew in the tray for half an hour, adding a handful of armpit hair for texture. Stir for one minute.

Blend the rotten bananas and olives, then add to the sweat mixture.

Blend the rotten bananas and olives, then add to the sweat mixture.

Leave the mixture until it starts to bubble.

Leave the mixture until it starts to bubble.

Pour into tall glasses and add an eyeball stick for decoration.

Pour into tall glasses and add an eyeball stick for decoration.

Ingredients:

Ingredients:

Assorted toes

Assorted toes

2 tablespoons mushed spleen

2 tablespoons mushed spleen

Foot flakes (optional)

Foot flakes (optional)

Method:

Method:

Store your assorted toes in a bowl of warm water for 3 weeks until prune-like in texture, with soft nails.

Store your assorted toes in a bowl of warm water for 3 weeks until prune-like in texture, with soft nails.

Use a small spoon to dig deep under the toenails and scrape out the gunk into a small glass jar.

Use a small spoon to dig deep under the toenails and scrape out the gunk into a small glass jar.

Once a sufficient amount of toe gunk has been collected, add the mushed spleen. Put the lid on the jar tightly and shake so that the spleen and gunk mixes together.

Once a sufficient amount of toe gunk has been collected, add the mushed spleen. Put the lid on the jar tightly and shake so that the spleen and gunk mixes together.

Add a sprinkle of foot flakes into the jam mixture and pop into the fridge overnight.

Add a sprinkle of foot flakes into the jam mixture and pop into the fridge overnight.

Tastes great on toasted noses.

Tastes great on toasted noses.

Ingredients:

Ingredients:

30ml of SECRET

30ml of SECRET

½ a I’M NOT TELLING

½ a I’M NOT TELLING

101g of YOU WILL NEVER KNOW

101g of YOU WILL NEVER KNOW

Method:

Method:

Mix everything together until it disappears, and voila . . .

Mix everything together until it disappears, and voila . . .

The secret is safe with Wooo.

The secret is safe with Wooo.