Pay Your

Taxes

By

Asher Gowan

For Joey

Text copyright © 2012 Asher Gowan

Licensed under Creative
Commons Attribution
3.0 Unported

Help & Support

If you have been affected by
the issues raised in this book or you have further questions about how you play
a role in financial responsibility, please visit:

http://eldink.co.uk/pay-your-taxes

Once upon a time there was a man called Jeff.

Jeff owned a big shop that
sold books and stuff. He made lots of money because people loved books and
stuff.

He was so successful that he
was able to open another shop in the village of Britown.

The people of Britown all
paid taxes to keep Britown nice. But Jeff did not like paying taxes. He thought
it was stupid. He wanted to keep all of his money

Lucky for Jeff, the people of
Britown had gone mental and elected a talking snake called Dave as their Mayor.
Dave had put an evil ghost called George in charge of collecting taxes.

The Mayor and the evil ghost also thought taxes were stupid and said it was
cool if Jeff didn’t pay them.

So the people of Britown had
to pay more taxes to keep Britown nice. Also, the evil ghost made them pay more
because he secretly hated them.

Jeff was happy. Jeff was
rich.

One day, a wizard who could
do magic came to visit Jeff.

“You must pay your taxes,
Jeff,” said the wizard who could do magic.

“Why?” asked Jeff. “Is it
because it’s unfair that I’m rich and pay no taxes while less rich people pay
lots?”

“No,” said the wizard who
could do magic.

“Well then, is it because my
tax avoidance gives me an unfair economic advantage, which is why all the other
tax-paying shops that sell books and stuff have gone out of business?”

“No,” said the wizard who
could do magic.

“Well, why should I then?”
asked Jeff

“Because if you don’t,” said
the wizard who could do magic, “a Balrog with herpes will punch you in the bum.”

Jeff laughed.

A Balrog with herpes punched
Jeff in the bum.

Jeff promised that he would pay his fair share of tax and ever since then, he
has not been punched in the bum by a Balrog with herpes.

UK UNCUT

If you’re interested in
corporate responsibility, government spending cuts or other issues involving people
not being nice about money, why might want to check out UK Uncut, who are
awesome.  Their website is www.ukuncut.org.uk/ and they’re on Twitter as @UKUncut

They had nothing to do with
this book, they’re just awesome.